NEW HUE REVIEW
Viva Magenta, I Think I Love You
Chasing the blues away
Viva Magenta, a “powerful, empowering” shade of pinkish-purple-red has been named the 2023 color of the year. According to a Vice President at the Pantone Color Institute:
Viva Magenta is a color we see crossing all areas of design; a color that serves as an expression of a mood and an attitude on the part of the consumers, a color that will resonate around the world, a color that reflects what people are looking for, a color that can hope to answer what they feel they need.
Viva Magenta is audacious, full of wit and inclusive of all.
Viva Magenta is both quirky and profound, proud yet vulnerable, fashion forward but with a deep respect for the gorgeous rainbows of antiquity.
Viva Magenta leans in close and whispers, “you deserve joy, every day.”
Viva Magenta puts down the goddamn phone and really listens.
Viva Magenta shows up with a party of five at 10:30 and immediately gets seated in the corner banquette.
Viva Magenta cries at all the right parts, but not that gross, runny snot crying and never more than three minutes.
Viva Magenta is successful but not so successful that it’s a thing. Which it totally isn’t.
Viva Magenta speaks flawless Italian but out of earshot, so I won’t feel bad about my crappy undergrad conjugations.
Viva Magenta is excited about a Whitmer/Warnock ticket.
Viva Magenta forgives 97.6% of my student loans.
Viva Magenta fucks all night but would never say “fucks all night.” But still fucks all night.
Viva Magenta is parkour with vampires across the Paris rooftops at midnight.
Viva Magenta will keep me sober during Sober January.
Viva Magenta is jacked but will laugh if you say “jacked.”
Viva Magenta remembers all my friends’ names, when they met, a cute detail about each and hasn’t fucked any of them.
Viva Magenta remembers my birthday, on my birthday.
Viva Magenta rescued me from the boring office Christmas party after 30 minutes with a story about “being late to serve stuffing at the mission.” And then we fucked all night.
Viva Magenta loves my new pixie shag. And my new Wednesday Addams tattoo.
Viva Magenta doesn’t see the check and then hide in the bathroom. Jesus.
Viva Magenta loves ME, not some fantasy me loaded down with your sarcasm and your condescension and your impossible beauty standards.
Viva Magenta isn’t YOU, Veri Peri, 2022 Color of the Year.
Everyone said, don’t spend a whole year with a periwinkle. They lie. They gaslight. They fuck around. Are you purple, are you blue, what are you?
Lesson learned. No more “cool” colors.
Here’s something to remember me by, Peri: ⛔
Guess you weren’t so Veri after all.
Gotta pack. Viva Magenta thinks we could use a few weeks in Kauai.
***
Thanks to Amy Sea, who is both primary and complementary.
The T. Kent Jones omnibus never closes. Free Parking!
Click the skull. Join the party.
