HUMOR

Pope’s Instagram Account ‘Likes’ Lingerie Model— The Biggest Story of 2020!

It has been kind of a quiet news year

Not much has gone on this year.

I’ve searched and searched for a significant news story to comment on to wrap up and encapsulate the year that was. I couldn’t find anything interesting.

Thankfully, the Pope’s lingerie model “like” on IG rescued me.

After a bit of journalistic snooping I did stumble across a Michael Pence TikTok video “Dances with Flies.” That was certainly fascinating while it lasted, but given the life cycles of flies and VPs, that fly speck of a story was over almost before it started. Pence’s fly speck-tacular may yet show up in a list of 2020 highlights, but who knows now.

A quick CNN.com check revealed that on or about November 3rd roughly 74 million Americans simultaneously went insane. Somehow this news story barely caused a ripple.

Perhaps it was because that insignificant blip was instantly eclipsed by the fact that Agent Orange had suffered a complete break with reality. According to the social media world, the soon-to-be-ex-POTUS believed that stamping his feet as he clenched his fists while alternately crying and holding his breath until he turned blue was a fitting way to indicate that he had the country’s best interests at heart.

Then in mid-December 2020, various social media platforms attempted to wake the President to the rumor that a viral pandemic may have broken out AND the Russians had hacked our IT infrastructure to an unprecedented degree. The President’s response to both was a yawn. He apparently ignored one and massively mismanaged the other, but it’s too early to tell which is which. He did tweet though that there were “good people” on both sides of both events.

But back to the real news … the Pope’s “like.”

Although I routinely hobnob with lingerie models, the Pope’s favorite is not in my circle of friends. So I can’t say much about this particular model.

And I don’t know if this is relevant or not, but past investigators have shone a bright Spotlight (movie) on the Catholic church’s fondness for showing extreme affection toward youthful members of their flock. Is this a continuation of that theme?

Regardless, the story salvaged the dismally dull and uneventful news year that was 2020.

Maybe we’ll have some juicier stories in 2021 to capture our attention. Lord knows we could use the distraction.