SELF-IDENTITY | SELF COMPASSION
In My Eyes You Are Beautiful
How we can show up in life and own our gifts and talents
“Butterflies can’t see their wings. They can’t see how truly beautiful they are, but everyone else can. People are like that as well.” — Anonymous
It is incredibly invaluable to self-reflect to form a picture of who we are and to have faith in the enormous potential we all possess. Nevertheless, we invariably get in our way, and sabotage our truth — that innate inner critic who wretchedly piggybacks our thoughts.
And what a mighty strength to its persistence— dousing our imperfectly perfect humanness with the sense of not feeling good enough.
Some of us have experienced in infancy and our early years, negative and insecure mirroring — which has proven a foundation of lack that sets in a metaphoric concrete — and so, a seemingly impossible wall to break.
How can we define who we are with honest eyes — when those hurtful incessant thoughts carry on automatically deep inside our heads — the constant dissing of self? And yet, others view us with a much different perspective — and even an entirely different story.
For whatever reason, the people in our lives connect to a part of us that we are unable to see. I always liken it to Doctor Who’s Tardis. On the outside it appears as the size of a telephone booth, however on the inside — an impressive-sized control room, adorned with sci-fi gobbledegook paraphernalia. It’s mind-bending. Just like us.
This correlates to another simple metaphor to help us contemplate that things aren’t always what they seem. Just like being human. It’s always so much deeper. We live in a multi-dimensional world between 10 and 11 dimensions according to string theory and M-theory. Whatever the science is, and not my expertise — we know we have so more many layers that exist underneath a fractured self-identity. Nothing is ever what it seems.
Speaking to my pro bono coach a few years back, I asked him how I possibly move past the idea that I don’t feel I’m good enough to start coaching clients or writing for a living. My story from my early years was that I was a mistake and someone to be ashamed of. My father’s denouncing message had been embedded into my spiritual DNA. I never felt enough in my essence and to my very core.
My coach looked at me with a blank stare — his face became poised in all seriousness. He finally said, “You just collect the evidence from all the good in your life. All the compliments that people have given you — all your accomplishments and achievements throughout — collect all this evidence — writing each one down on a Post-it note. Stick them everywhere; on your bedroom wall, kitchen cupboards and read these truths about yourself every day. Keep reminding yourself this is your truth.”
Words hold significant power, and this has been proven time and again in scientific studies. Words are powerful. The mind is powerful. Over time my reflex processes were starting to strengthen, and when demeaning thoughts instinctively entered my head, I was able to push them aside and hold on to the truth: my collective evidence.
We have the power to show up and play a much bigger role in life, and in a sense, it is that simple — a choice. We can choose to adopt self-awareness and start to deeply honor ourselves by being actively self-compassionate. To be on guard daily by protecting ourselves from the false torrents of these useless tainted reflections of self.
Time to read those Post-it notes again my friend.
There is something special about you. You’ve got the it factor; a talent or skill that is unique to you, and you have a responsibility to your life to bring it out — Germany Kent
I want to share this impactful and cleverly written piece by Diana Goniou about Shame. Shame is insidious, and so, it’s important to bring light to it.
I appreciate you
© Chantal Weiss 2023. All Rights Reserved.
