Summary

The author reflects on the nuances between stress eating and comfort eating, emphasizing personal empowerment and emotional healing in managing their relationship with food amidst a health condition and the challenges of isolation.

Abstract

In a personal v-log entry titled "V-Log: Stuffing your Face or Facing your Stuff?", the author delves into the psychological and emotional aspects of eating habits, particularly stress eating versus comfort eating. The narrative unfolds with an anecdote about a conversation with a friend, Harper, which prompts the author to share their journey with food, diabetes misdiagnosis, and the impact of emotional healing on their eating patterns. The author, who identifies as an Indian vegetarian, discusses their approach to food without adhering to specific diet trends, focusing instead on self-love and compassion. They touch upon the history of their v-log and the role of their late mother in their relationship with food. The author also invites readers to engage by sharing their own experiences and offers to connect through video calls, emphasizing a community-oriented approach to discussing sensitive topics like body image and eating habits.

Opinions

The author believes in the power of self-awareness and agency over strict dietary control, advocating for a loving and compassionate approach to eating.
They express a deep appreciation for the variety of breads and vegetarian cuisines from around the world, particularly from India.
The author is indifferent to others' opinions about their body and eating habits, stating they care "Zero, zilch, nada."
They acknowledge the influence of their mother's advice on their cooking and eating, even after her passing.
The author values the importance of emotional healing in their ability to listen to their body and make food choices that align with their well-being.
They emphasize the significance of enjoying food, as evidenced by their presentation of snacks and meals, despite health considerations and past medical issues.
The author is open about their past struggles with weight and health, sharing their history of being hospitalized and their current stable weight.
They prioritize living a fulfilling and happy life over prolonging it through restrictive dieting, especially considering their past cardiac surgery and the ongoing pandemic.

V-Log: Stuffing your Face or Facing your Stuff?

Stress Eating & Comfort Foods

Over the weekend Harper and I had a video call to check in on how we were doing and he questioned the difference between stress eating and comfort eating. This became the inspiration of today’s video. On a side note, there is no product in my hair. This is the way my hair air dries after a shower. Don’t be jelly!

Food, or even talking about food, can be a trigger for many people who may or may not be aware of their own past or trauma. Or it may be what causes some people to use sarcasm or humor to deflect their feelings about food, about their eating habits, or about their bodies. I am not addressing any of these topics here today for others, only sharing my own views about myself.

Today is not the time to share the origin story of my complicated relationship with food, in the midst of this isolation and viral pandemic fears. Or why my body maintains a baseline weight at homeostasis which is much higher than recommended by any medical practitioner. Today I want to tell you how much my emotional healing has helped my ability to be present to my own eating and to my body. It has. A lot. There: I’ve said it all and it’s All Done. ✅

Actually by the time I had discovered that I was misdiagnosed as a diabetic, my body had already become accustomed to producing less insulin than it needed. So technically I’m still an insulin dependent diabetic. I am keenly aware of my intake of sweets and carbs but not stringent about it. At over sixty five years of age, I’d rather live a fulfilling and happy life than prolong it at the cost of my still healing younger selves, leaving a skinny corpse. So maybe a piece of Andrea’s cake would come really handy right now, but thanks to the quarantine I don’t have very much say getting it even though she lives only five houses away!

How I feel about Andrea’s lemon poundcake. July 2019

The difference between stress eating and comfort eating for me has been about knowing my own power. Not forced control that feels like a whip held in someone else’s hands, but agency that comes from a place of love and compassion for myself. When I find myself in a situation that feels stressful, even when I reach for a bag of potato chips (yup, still in my snack cabinet!) I tend to take out a few (10–12 chips) and create a lovely presentation that satiates my eyes as well. I’m not using buzz words that are part of the diet industry lingo like portion control, low carb, high fat. I’m not talking about the keto, paleo, vegan or pescatarian diets. For personal reasons, I don’t eat meat. So the burden of filling me up falls on fruits, which have to be limited because of diabetic recommendations. Indian mangoes are my forever favorite fruit so I eat them all summer, which defeats the purpose every summer! Vegemables, which I’m really good at making being an Indian vegetarian, thank goodness, and also a really creative cook. None of those sadly boiled or steamed greens that used to be served in restaurants in the Midwest when I moved to the USA 40 years ago will be found in my kitchen! Legumes and lentils, rice and breads. See, I left my favorite till the end. Fresh oven baked white bread still tops the list.

Do you know how many kinds of breads there are in world cuisines? I can’t even count the kinds of breads there are from India! I love them all!!!

How I have learned to listen to my body has been taught within these food parameters. When this shelter-in-place is over perhaps you’d like to try food from other countries that offer wonderful vegetarian options like the cuisines of Thailand, or Taiwan, or Ethiopia. Or the holy grail of vegetarian excellence from over thirty communities: India. No, I am not biased at all.

Circling back to the video, upon review I find that it might be misleading to believe that I eat a half piece of toast for dessert: sometimes I eat an entire slice of toast. There are many Indian sweets to which I am partial, so I keep them at home and ration them out to myself. Therefore I was already ready for the rationing that has become necessary during the staying home phase of this emergency. There are certain cookies I like so I keep them handy on a rotating basis, doling them out two at a time with my nightly after dinner cup of tea. My chocolates and insulin live in the same drawer in my fridge, learning to get along, which is why my fridge is so interesting, Sherry.

I eats what I likes, and I likes what I eats.

Left: Ciabatta overload! Egg, daikon, avocado, tomato. Center: Indian veggie dumplings with 3 dipping sauces. Right: pirogies swimming in butter, surrounded by heirloom tomatoes. What’s not to love?

How much do I care what other people think about me? How much am I embarrassed to share about myself? How do other people’s opinions effect me? Zero, zilch, nada.

I used to be 5 feet and a 1/2 inch tall, but now I’m down to an even 5 feet. The least I weighed as an adult was 121 pounds when I was hospitalized in India during college, diagnosed with Paratyphoid at the age of 21. The most I ever weighed was 280 pounds the day I went into the hospital in 2014, dying of a broken heart and a defective cardiac valve. Three months later I came home weighing 180 pounds. I was a 100 pounds lighter because of the fluid that had been drained from my body for weeks in preparation for cardiac surgery. Although I have fairly small (juvenile sized) meal portions since that year, my body continued to gain weight after my return home over the next four years, eventually stabilizing at 224 pounds. That is where it continues to stay today.

Here is the reason I mention my mom in the video. She was a big part of my home life. My mom passed into another realm in 2016, but still hangs around my kitchen sometimes, offering unsolicited advice just as she had done in life.

My mom with me. Aren’t we cuties? 4 weeks after I left the hospital in a wheelchair, I flew to the see her in the Bay Area. I had already begun to gain weight by then.

History of the v-log.

You can email me at [email protected] or leave your contact info in comments or in a private note. Let me know if you’d like to book a day/time on the one-on-one video call calendar. I will try to get back to everyone as rapidly as I possibly can. Let me know if you would rather not be tagged in future vlogs otherwise you will continue seeing your name in this sea of green. 😊

Justin Mark DeWolf, Molly Skeen, Efe Nakpodia, vince ferraro, Lance Baker, Martine Weber, Esther Spurrill-Jones Elizabeth Helmich Dennett Mark Starlin Wild Flower Charlotte Franklin Tien Skye Roy Mrs. Roy Harper Thorpe Jack Herlocker James Finn Tre L. Loadholt Kay Bolden Ré Harris Rebeca Ansar Pamela Edwards edh lamport Bonnie Flach Kathy Jacobs Mary Holden Julia Kantic Tracy Aston Jeff Suwak A Maguire Meg Stephen M. Tomic Indira Reddy Zarina Dara Zach J. Payne Terrye Turpin Elle Rogers Lisa Alletson Annie Caldwell Adam, Diabetic Cyborg Noe (Lisa Arana) Ann Litts Susan Brearley Laura Johnson Jack Preston King Sravani Saha Mo Solo Kyrie Gray Erik Smith Melina Saint Thunderdome Justin Deming Shringi Kumari Joe Pregadio Joe Váradi Simran Kankas Benjamin Davis Jaime Green Sherry Kappel Farida Haque Eric Jennings Emme Wright Heath ዟ FILZA CHAUDHRY Linda Caroll Brian Cailsey Jane Vogel Bebe Nicholson Georgia Lewitt Jenny Justice Christina M. Ward Jun Wu Aashna Pant Caroline de Braganza Haya Mubaidin Your Fat Friend D. E. Fulford Shobha Roy Sally Pina Chris Cohlmeyer Jack Herlocker Debra A Herlocker The Solitary Cook Meg