Usually, the Advice We Hate the Most Is Exactly What We Need To Hear

How one unpleasant conversation changed my professional life

I didn’t know it at the time, but for the first eight years of my corporate career, I possessed the absolute worst trait that anyone could have — I lived in my comfort zone.

I stayed in the same department, which allowed me to excel and be comfortable at the same time. I feared change, and the paralysis from what-ifs thoughts shackled me into not wanting to leave my peaceful sanctuary.

I did advance a few times within the department, but by year eight, I had reached the top. The only way for me to continue advancing in the company was to switch departments — something I had clearly avoided for years.

I considered only one specific job in a different department and was willing to wait and place all my eggs into that basket.

I was content with waiting for this job because I thought it would be a safe and easy transition that fit my current skill set, and the best part was that it was a promotion.

The only problem was that the job didn’t open very often. In fact, one may open once a year, sometimes longer than a year. Also, because it was so rare for one to become available, it was a brutally competitive position to land and garnered tons of interest from a plethora of qualified candidates.

I thought luck was about to turn in my favor when I saw a job posting for that position. I excitedly dusted off my resume, loaded it up with all of my accomplishments, and submitted my application, confident I was the best choice for the job.

Three weeks went by, and I heard nothing from the hiring manager. Something must have been wrong. There was no way I wasn’t the best person for the job.

Sitting at my desk one afternoon, I felt my blood start to boil and gritted my teeth as I read the announcement that Nicole, the kiss-ass from the Customer Service department, was selected for the position.

I didn’t even get an interview.

Talk about a kick to the nuts and ego.

Shortly after the announcement, I had a one-on-one meeting with my manager. She knew I was furious that I didn’t get the job or was even interviewed for it.

She patiently listened to me as I threw a temper tantrum and shouted from the rooftops to anyone who would listen about this gross injustice.

After I was done ranting and raving, she looked at me and said, “I know you may not want to hear this, but you’re never going to get anywhere in this company or any company unless you get out of your comfort zone. Now that Nicole is out of Customer Service, you should post for her position and get experience in Customer Service.”

Umm, excuse me!!!

I think her telling me that pissed me off more than not getting the job itself.

Your answer to this is for me to go to Customer Service!!!

How can you look at me with a straight face and tell me taking a lateral to replace Nicole’s old position was my best career move? What stupid advice!

I left her office, fuming mad. Not only was I not even considered for the promotion and granted the courtesy of an interview, but now my boss’s best advice was to take a lateral to replace my office nemesis.

Who was she to say that to me?

Get real!

I stewed on the events that had transpired for a few days, and once I was able to calm down and decompress, I decided to act on my boss’s advice and apply for Nicole’s old position in customer service.

I knew why my boss was pushing me in that direction. She knew that gaining experience and exposure in another department would only make me more marketable for the promotional opportunity when it became available again.

She knew it was unpopular advice to tell me, but she was able to see what was better for my career before I was.

I clearly wasn’t thrilled by taking a lateral to move up, but what did I have to lose? What I was doing was clearly not working.

I was one of five final candidates to interview for the job, and I ended up getting Nicole’s old position.

It was scary embarking on a completely new department and everything that needed to be learned. Not only that, but I was now in charge of leading people who knew more about the job and department than I did while leading some who had interviewed and hadn’t gotten the same position.

I made it my goal to learn as much as I could as quickly as I could in order to earn the team’s respect.

I ended up spending only nine months in the Customer Service department. During my nine-month reign, the department’s metrics were better than when Nicole was in charge. Under my leadership, we led the company in Voice of the Customer scores, and the Regional Manager noticed the success.

On one Friday afternoon, my new manager summoned me to her office. I took a seat, and she informed me of a conversation that she and the Regional Manager just had.

“John was just in here and said that a position in Credit is going to open next week, and he highly suggests you post for it,” she said.

I never had a manager give me a heads-up about a job before it was even posted, so I knew this job was mine as long as I didn’t butcher the interview. So this is how people get jobs?

I had been so naive for so long, stuck in thinking that our office was a meritocracy where everyone moved up based on their qualifications and accomplishments. As Lee Corso would say, “Not so fast, my friend.”

It never occurred to me that people in positions of power know who they want before positions are even posted, and it’s mostly a rigged game.

The irony of the situation was that Nicole and I would now be teammates working in the same department.

My old boss ended up being right — getting outside of my comfort zone and doing something I didn’t want to do ended up being the launchpad I needed to grow in my career.

I went from spending eight years in one department to only nine months in my second before being promoted to my third.

I worked side-by-side with Nicole for ten months when a competitor recruited me from my LinkedIn profile to leave the company. I was impressed with the offer and company culture, so I again embraced the unknown and decided to leave the only company I had worked for.

Only this time, I had the confidence that everything would work out.

My career trajectory would have never happened if my old boss hadn’t had the guts to push me and tell me what I didn’t want to hear.

Since leaving my old company in 2016, I’ve been promoted three more times in six years. Each position required me to take a leap of faith, be uncomfortable, and embrace the unknown.

I often think about that conversation with my old boss.

I know you’ll never see this, but thank you, Melissa. Our world needs more people like you who are more interested in having tough conversations to help others grow than being popular.

You truly changed my life for the better and gave me the confidence to jump out of my comfort zone and embrace new challenges.

As I’ve gotten older and looked back on my life, every decision that initially scared me always made my life better.

If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try. — Seth Godin

The limits our minds put on ourselves force us to become our own worst enemies, so do what scares you — you may just get the life you always wanted.

Please check out this beautifully vulnerable piece on balance by Sally Prag