A Quick Self-Assessment Tool For Times That Life Challenges You

These 4 states make us human.

“Oh, I could just strangle somebody.”

We’ve all had thoughts like this. Don’t be embarrassed. Strong emotions, and the inability to control them, are what make us human.

We love, laugh, play, and dream. We also find ourselves at the mercy of emotional triggers. So, before saying or doing something that you’ll later regret, check in with yourself. “Hey, you. What’s really going on?”

Why do we get triggered?

Humans were built to survive. As such, we are always on the lookup for danger. This is why we are drawn to habits. Knowing a safe path or pattern keeps us safe from being caught off guard. It’s also why we find the world around us so darn triggering.

Biologically, what is new or unfamiliar is potentially harmful. So, when encountering something or someone new, our sympathetic nervous system prepares us to fight or flee. It floods our system with stress hormones, giving us the fuel we need to defend ourselves.

The same reaction occurs when recounting trauma. In order to avoid dangerous situations, we will remember ones in which we were hurt. You can become triggered at something or someone simply because they remind you of a time that you were hurt.

How to control the uncontrollable

As much as our emotional instincts get us into trouble they are what make us human. Amongst our intuitive way of living, laziness may be our best attribute. Charles Duhig, in his book “The Power of Habit”, shares that:

“Habits, scientists say, emerge because the brain is constantly looking for ways to save effort.”

We can’t use logic in every situation. We simply do not have the bandwidth. So instead, we rely on habits and automatic emotional responses. The only way to truly harness human emotions is by accepting that we have no control over them.

Use this self-assessment the next time you get triggered

We are all sensitive. It’s what keeps us safe. But our emotional triggers can be frustrating in and of themselves. Why is it that some days nothing seems to bother us while others, everything?

This is because emotions are complex, just like humans. There are endless variables that affect the way we think, feel, and see the world. At the top of the list are 4 major states.

So, the next time you find yourself triggered, H.A.L.T. Then ask yourself, “Am I…”

1. Hungry:

As the Snickers corporation has taught us, “You’re just not you when you’re hungry.” But hanger affects some people more than others.

When you’re hungry, your blood sugar levels drop. In an attempt to balance your hormones, your body releases a surge of hormones, including cortisol and adrenaline. It’s essentially your fight or flight response used to avoid starvation.

Make sure that somebody bumping your shopping cart is really worth blowing up about and not just because you forgot to eat lunch.

2. Angry:

Anger is a sly beast that wreaks havoc on all of our lives. It hides in the shadows of the unimportant, warping our perceptions.

Harvard University has studied anger extensively and found that once anger is incited, opinions, perceptions, and decisions are all guided toward keeping the anger alive. Anger is like an inferno that turns everything around it into ash.

If you’re angry because you just lost your job, an article about “How I Make $10,000 Per Second” may infuriate you. Remember that feeding into the anger will only make things worse.

3. Lonely:

Being lonely has many adverse effects on our mental health. Prolonged loneliness can increase levels of depression, cause self-esteem issues, affect sleep, and warp the way in which we see the world.

Being lonely doesn’t only refer to physical proximity, either. Feeling a lack of connection with friends, family, or co-workers can lead to feelings of loneliness.

If you’re having a hard time expressing yourself, are new in town, or just had a friend move away you may be especially susceptible to emotional volatility.

4. Tired:

Sleep is perhaps our most vital restorative function behind eating, drinking, and breathing. When we are tired we become moody, irrational, and irritable. It also affects our memory and decision-making capabilities.

Much like being hungry, being tired puts us on high alert. We crave quick energy (like sugar) and lose patience.

Just remember that being tired is comparable to being drunk. Don’t hold yourself to your opinions when you’re under the influence.

The only checklist you’ll ever need

The world becomes much more manageable when you learn to manage yourself. Life is a matter of perspective and, at times, it’s hard to look past your own.

Remember that the world is a reflection of how you feel 99% of the time. When you feel good, the world is not so bad. And when you don’t, it is.

So take care of your basic needs and know that you will get triggered. When you do, halt. Then, go through your checklist. By the end of it you’ll know exactly if you need to fight, or just keep walking.

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