Use This Practical Formula to Eliminate Mental Stress in Most Situations

Steps to reduce stress from the experience

Seven years ago, I was insanely suffering from unnecessary mental stress in my life. For small things, I was worried about the so-called future. I was in the state of analysis-paralysis for every damn issue in my life.

In 2014, one Sunday morning I was browsing on YouTube how to handle the stress. I watched two hours of video discourse on stress management by sister Shivani of Bhramakumaris. From there on, my journey of continuous improvement started, and it hasn’t stopped till date.

I have watched 500+ videos on life skills by her in three years. With years of practice, I can confidently say that my life has changed 360 degrees. I became pro in managing myself on stress, awareness, and other life skills. I have also started helping family members, friends, and co-workers.

In this article, I wanted to share my 3-step formula, which I have used many times to win over the mental stress. Here you will learn the practical tips and techniques I have used to become stress-free in most situations of my life.

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness — Richard Carlson

In my case, I have experienced only 1 out of 10 problems are worth worrying about. The rest of the 9 were the potential problems that never occurred.

Many times we are the creators of the problem in our head. A thought appears, and we start thinking about severe consequences, we make it bigger and bigger.

To manage the day-to-day stress, I apply a general practice that we all use while driving a car. To increase the speed of the car we don’t switch to the 6th gear directly. Gears shift has to happen smoothly from neutral to 6 in sequence, otherwise you feel jerky. Occasionally, I may skip a gear and go from 2 to 4 depending on the speed and RPM, but that’s not what I want. I want a smooth ride.

I apply the same logic of gear movements when things are wrong with me. I try to find a solution when the stress is at level one. I don’t let stress go to the higher levels. If you let it happen, the situation becomes out of control, your emotions overpower the rational mind, and you can’t think wisely.

Let me explain this with a real-life scenario

Recently an elderly couple was diagnosed as COVID positive in my apartment. Unluckily, just before the diagnosis, my wife got in touch with their daughter.

After the news spread, back and forth interaction started between the residents and few people started reacting. The association group announced 14 days of quarantine for primary and secondary contacts. Primary was the couple’s daughter and secondary was my wife.

When my wife heard about it, she stressed herself. She started thinking about the impact of her fitness goals. These back and forth undesired conversations made her think of quarantine as a jail. These imposed restrictions, miscommunications, and gossips created a tense environment.

I also started getting sucked into the drama, but soon I realized the discomfort and started introspection. Within a few minutes, I became aware that there is no problem at all. A real problem will occur when we will be quarantined. After this awareness, I could easily settle my mind with a thought — Let me see if this drama continues for more than a day, currently it’s fresh, so people are reacting.

Guess what? no restrictions were imposed on us, as the primary contact (my wife’s friend) was found COVID negative, everything became normal like before. Me and my wife were requested to stay at home as much as possible. That’s it.

My approach here was to ignore and watch for the real problem to occur. I set aside useless thoughts for the day using my rational thinking and not run by emotions. I didn’t let myself be stressed out and addressed my discomfort at level one, not at the higher level, like a car gear shift.

We all handle such micro, small, medium, and large issues in our lives. Most of the time we think about the consequences of such events. We make it so big in our heads and attract misfortune into the reality. Whereas most times the problem does not occur at all, at least this has been my experience. Can you relate to this?

The moment we can differentiate between the perception and the reality, the stress level will drop near to zero. Similarly, I could drop it countless times for many such issues. If I can do it, you can also do it.

So how can you drop it? Let me give you a simple 3-step approach, which you can apply in your lives.

How can you drop the stress level?

Immediately stop the work if you are not comfortable. Don’t prefer to stay with a state of discomfort, else levels can go up. Be aware of your bodily reactions because of the discomfort.
Then start with self-inquiry, what is the one thing which is bothering me now? You may not get an answer in the first ask but that’s fine, just ask again until you get the cause.
Next is to do a reality check. Is that a real thing to solve or is it a perceived reality? Think about the possible questions you can ask, based on the answers you get.

For me, the above 3-step formula is the most effective way I could figure out to live a stress-free life.

Now let me share with you another real-life scenario and how did I use the 3-steps and self-inquiry to become stress-free.

Self-inquiry based scenario

In April, I was having a fever from the last 2 days and my mind started wandering with a thought of COVID infection. I started thinking of the severe consequences and the treatment procedure for this deadly virus. I was worried about how would I be treated by the people around and what will happen in the hospital.

I had got all possible worst thoughts within a few minutes. By that time, my body started signaling with heaviness in the breadth. I instantly realized something was wrong with me so let me immediately start with a self-inquiry.

— Self-inquiry started —

What is bothering me now? Corona… Corona… (got the superficial answer)

How do I know it is Corona? I don’t know yet.

OK, then why I am worried? I am worried thinking about the behavior of people around.

Do I have any control over people’s behavior? No.

Then why I am worried? No answer came now.

So what can I do now? I can do things that are in my control.

What are those things? I can watch positive and motivational videos or I can find a solution for Corona or I can build my immunity by having a lot of Vitamin C rich fruits or I can meditate.

Fair enough, can I do it now? If yes, let us do it <end of conversation>.

If no, when can I take action? …

How I am feeling now? little better

What else is bothering me now? … …

Repeated it, until I was comfortable

— Self-Reflection ended —

Now I was having a clear picture of the situation and a positive action in my hand. I was immensely relaxed.

This kind of self-inquiry requires practice. If you find difficulty running these questions and answers in your mind, you can go with writing. I use a self-inquiry journal to solve complex problems.

Conclusion of the scenario

What I initially thought was not the real problem. The real problem would have occurred if I would have been found COVID positive. For now, I can just worry about searching the right solution rather than thinking about the potential problem which may not occur at all. This is a deep wisdom which you need to gather with the self-inquiry.

Key Take-Aways

Use these 3-steps to become stress-free — Stop the work, ask the question(s), check the reality.
Think about the right questions to gather deeper insights into reality.
Do a mental self-inquiry, you can also write while inquiry. The choice is yours.
Practicing this technique two or three times for a specific situation until you feel comfortable.

For effective and faster results, start the practice for simple issues of your life. Once you become an expert, you can handle extremely stressful situations to live a healthy and happier life.

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another — William James