avatarChristopher Kokoski

Summary

The article advocates using higher-order thinking (H.O.T) questions to enhance sexual experiences by encouraging deeper understanding, creativity, and optimization in intimate relationships.

Abstract

The concept of H.O.T questions is presented as a tool to improve sexual satisfaction through intellectual engagement and problem-solving. The author suggests that by employing systems thinking, curiosity, and optimization techniques typically used in engineering, individuals can better understand their partners' needs and the dynamics of their sexual relationships. The article outlines three main approaches to achieving H.O.T sex: Man on the Moon Thinking, which involves recognizing patterns and connections; HDIW Thinking, which focuses on understanding the mechanics of sex; and O-Face Thinking, which is about making incremental improvements to enhance pleasure. By asking probing questions and challenging conventional wisdom, couples can explore new dimensions of their sexual encounters, leading to more fulfilling and enjoyable experiences.

Opinions

  • The author believes that the brain is the sexiest body part, emphasizing the importance of intellectual stimulation in sexual attraction.
  • Engineering humor is used to illustrate the potential for applying analytical thinking to sexual relationships, suggesting a playful yet insightful approach to intimacy.
  • The article posits that asking "How does it work?" in the context of sex can lead to a deeper understanding and improvement of sexual experiences.
  • There is an opinion that sex should be approached with the same curiosity and desire for optimization as one would when solving complex problems or designing products.
  • The author implies that by adopting a H.O.T mindset, individuals can move beyond surface-level understanding to truly enhance their sexual relationships.
  • The idea is presented that constant questioning and testing, akin to an engineer's approach, can lead to significant improvements in sexual satisfaction for both partners.
  • The author encourages readers to not only ask questions but also to apply what they learn from their inquiries to make tangible improvements in their sex lives.

Use These H.O.T Questions For Mind-Blowing Sex

Improve your love life one sexy question at a time.

Image by Author via Canva

HOT questions lead to HOT sex.

H.O.T is an acronym that stands for “higher-order thinking.” It means to engage in a level of thinking above standard route memorization. It’s sexy thinking, lateral thinking, engineer thinking.

You could even say this entire article is about how to have sex like an engineer.

Cue the engineer jokes:

  • How do you have sex like an engineer? You don’t! 😆
  • Hey there, good looking, can I do your Systems Analysis?
  • I know the spring constant for my mattress. Wanna take some data?

Or, as Jumbalaspi put it on Quora 8 years ago:

Don’t forget that the thrust can be easily controlled by using accelerometers and a DSP to calculate the STFT of the movement, so you only have to keep an eye on the spectral density while you are having sex, trying to optimise the frequency components of the movement. More advanced lovers use wavelets and/or auto-regressive models, but I would start with the good old Fourier transform for the first few times.

This article is surprisingly not about corny engineering humor, although that’s the bee's knees. Instead, I want to talk about how to leverage HOT questions to have better sex.

3 Ways To Have HOT Sex (The TL;DR Summary)

There are three main ways to have HOT sex using these HOT questions. This is the tl;dr (too long, didn’t read) summary.

Here are the three ways to have HOT sex with HOT questions:

  • Man on the Moon Thinking
  • HDIW Thinking
  • O-Face Thinking

Let’s dive into each one with some explanations and examples.

Sidenote: I never understood why people placed the tl;dr at the end of an article or online post. If you have to scroll to the bottom of an epic novel, that defeats the purpose, doesn’t it?

Man on The Moon Thinking

“Your sexiest body part is your brain.” — Anonymous

Man on the Moon Thinking is a way of looking at and understanding complex problems and issues in order to solve them.

It’s HOT level questions at their hottest.

It involves making connections between seemingly unconnected elements, noticing patterns, and finding analogies with other situations that have been successfully addressed in the past.

You find patterns and structures — kind of like seeing a man on the moon or shapes in clouds.

For example, you analyze physical intimacy with your partner by constructing a mental model of how it works. You know that when certain actions are performed, certain reactions are expected — and you can use this information to improve your relationship.

Man on the Moon thinking is based on systems theory, which forms the basis for cybernetics, systems thinking, and complex adaptive systems.

Oh yeah. Hot, hot, HOT.

Man on The Moon Thinking is about thinking laterally, connecting the dots — not just within one area of sex, but across them. It’s engaging and understanding sexual issues deeply — not just the symptoms, but also the root causes and potential underlying drivers.

Man on The Moon Thinking is about asking probing questions to challenge assumptions and conventional wisdom about sex. It’s about spotting anomalies — things that seem out of place or don’t fit with a common framework.

These anomalies can be opportunities for new perspectives and fresh insights.

HDIW — The Surprising Key To Better Sex

HOT questions force you to think differently. You let your mind roam the world in search of how things work.

HOT questions want to know, “How does it work?” This question guides you in a never-ending quest of curiosity.

If you want to have HOT sex, the first thing you need to do is adopt the HOT mindset. Take a step back and think about sex. What is sex? And how does it work?

These kinds of questions direct your mind, which is where sex improvement first takes place.

Here are some more questions to ask:

  • What is the difference between good sex and bad sex?
  • What are the requirements?
  • What are the assumptions?
  • What doesn’t work? And Why?
  • Questions engineers ask themselves about products:
  • What makes it work?
  • What is the purpose of this sexual component?
  • Does this component add any value?
  • What is the end goal?
  • Is there a better way to get to the result we want?
  • Is there a faster way to get to the result we want?
  • Is faster or slower better?

Before you can do better, you must think better.

HOT thinking is the cauldron of possibility. Look at sex objectively. Put on your HOT librarian spectacles.

What do you see? Two naked bodies flopping against each other. Penetration, wild abandon, sweat, body parts everywhere. What do you hear? Moans, grunts, curse words, names.

Before you can make something better, you have to know how it works.

This is simply the surface level. Let’s go deeper ;). What does sex mean? What’s the end goal? What is the purpose, mission, or ultimate objective? Essentially, you need to know what sex is so that you can optimize it.

That brings us to the next step in HOT sex…

Your O-Face Is Showing

O-Face Thinking is optimization thinking. The basic gist of it is asking, “How can I make this better?” whether that be a person, place, or thing.

The idea behind this is that everyone should be constantly asking themselves this question. You can make your current situation better by taking the time to optimize it.

How do optimize for HOT sex?

Unsurprisingly, you lean on the power of HOT questions once again. By asking optimization questions, you make small tweaks that you test in real-world scenarios.

You improve sex by drilling down into the details, the cracks and crevasses, to iterate change. You start with HOT questions.

HOT Questions like:

  • How can I simplify this?
  • What’s another way?
  • Where should we start testing?
  • How do we measure results?
  • How do we increase pleasure/orgasms?
  • How do we decrease sexual problems?
  • What should we add?
  • What should we delete or remove?
  • What can be combined?
  • What’s another way?
  • Who can help?

These questions will help you re-frame a sexual problem that many people would have ignored.

In doing so, you’ll discover new opportunities and new ways to go about things. This is the essence of O-Face thinking and HOT sex: not being afraid or hesitant to ask how you can make something better.

Change one small thing about your sex life at a time.

A/B test everything between the sheets. You never know what will make a huge difference for you and your partner.

Final Thoughts

HOT questions lead to HOT sex.

If you want a better sex life, ask better questions. Level up your sex game by first leveling up your thinking.

Ask good questions, enjoy gathering the data, and then apply what you learn.

Thanks for reading!

You may also like my other articles on sex.

Sex
Sexuality
Dating
Relationships
Love
Recommended from ReadMedium