How to Use Self-Doubt to Your Advantage
Self-doubt can be your best ally in life.
What if I tell you that you can use self-doubt to your advantage to boost your confidence? It seems like an oxymoron, but it’s possible, and I’m going to tell you how.
When my ex and I broke up, I felt overwhelmed by self-doubt. My relationship with a narcissist affected my confidence and kept me in a cycle of self-doubt.
I know I’m not the only one. Self-doubt can creep into your personal and professional life when you try something new — like being single. Thoughts of unworthiness can affect your confidence and stop you from being your true self. But there is a way forward.
I’ve used self-doubt to my advantage to boost my confidence.
I’m now feeling excited and empowered even when things didn’t always go the way I expect. Here are 4 ways self-doubt will be your best ally to boost your confidence.
#1: Self-doubt can unleash your creative powers.
Self-doubt forced me to get out of my head and create art. Art can take many forms — dance, acting, painting, and more. It is the number one thing that has helped my confidence and helped me move past self-doubt.
Acting classes.
Acting is not just for performers — it’s much more than trying to pretend to be someone else.
Acting is really about getting in tune with yourself and playing. It can be intimidating to join an acting class, but once you arrive and everyone is participating, it will be easy to just follow the instructor.
Dance.
Dance is the most underrated exercise. When we think with our bodies instead of our heads, we change how we interact with the world. There is evidence that we hold emotions in our bodies. Through movement, you can express and tap into different emotions and connect deeper to yourself. When you do this, you gain confidence and become more in tune.
Making art.
Making arts improves your self-esteem — be it painting, watercolor, or doodling. Artistic expression activates the reward center of our brain. The reward center makes you feel empowered and builds confidence. Even something as simple as doodling is a way to express yourself and feel empowered.
Spending time with artists.
Spending time with artists has helped me see the beauty in the world, the beauty in myself and encouraged me to create more beauty. Artists embody their feelings, share their passion and do so without fear. It’s part of being an artist. Spending time with people who create for a living has helped me feel more confident in myself and my writing.
#2: Self-doubt can remind you of what really matters.
Self-doubt creeps into our lives when we become obsessed with memories of our failures or worry about failing in the future. Do you ever replay all the awkward interactions you had during your day when dozing off to sleep? This type of behavior is not healthy and makes us feel more self-doubt. Instead, you can use self-doubt to focus on the positives and leave the rest.
Gratitude journals.
Gratitude has the power to change our brain chemistry. It can free us from our negative or toxic emotions and self-doubt.
By thinking of positive things at night instead of negative ones, you can make a lasting effect on your brain. It also helps you fall asleep thinking good thoughts instead of damaging ones.
Celebrate the little things.
Make a big deal of the little goals you’ve accomplished by taking the time to acknowledge and celebrate them. Even if it’s just a little happy dance after making your bed. Make time for celebration.
Treat yourself to a tea break after turning in a small assignment or a walk around the block in the sunshine after a difficult conversation. By rewarding yourself for small goals, you motivate yourself to achieve even bigger ones. Celebration encourages you to strive a little farther.
Go on a social media cleanse.
Comparison is often the thief of joy and social media is the biggest tool of comparison. Chronic use of social media is associated with lower self-esteem, which leads to self-doubt.
Start by choosing one day a week you don’t go on social media and then increase those days and the frequency. In addition, start unfollowing people who impact your self-esteem or create self-doubt. Be particular and only follow people who help build your confidence or help you feel good about yourself.
#3: Self-doubt can be the catalyst to look better.
Self-doubt has pushed me to take care of how I look and interact with the world. I don’t mean get your nails done or get your hair done at the salon — although you could. I’m talking about simple things you can change about how you present yourself to others that will boost your confidence.
Speak slower.
Even though it is a simple practice, it can have a significant impact on your confidence. Speaking slower can relax the body, as it’s easier to take deep breaths in between words. When we slow down our speech, we give our brains more focus, preventing us from getting distracted or overthinking.
Look good, feel good.
When you look good, you feel good, and when you feel good, you can boost your confidence.
An underrated way to silence your self-doubt is to give yourself a confidence boost by wearing a killer outfit. If you have the means, buy yourself a new outfit that makes you feel great about yourself. While you are at it, throw away — or donate — clothes that don’t flatter you anymore. Wear only killer outfits that make you feel good about yourself.
Take up space by standing in confident postures.
In Amy Cuddy’s TedTalk, she explains the science behind your body language. By manipulating your body language, you can affect your thoughts, mood and gain confidence.
When you take up space, you can boost your confidence and overcome your self-doubt. One example of taking up space is standing in a superhero position. Stand with your legs hip-width apart with your hands on your hips to create a superhero position. You can do this in the bathroom before a first date. Or simply stand tall with your shoulders back when around people to take up space and boost your confidence.
#4: Self-doubt can ground you.
Last but not least, self-doubt has pushed me to be more grounded and mindful. Studies show that people who practice mindfulness are calmer, more confident, and have less anxiety.
Start by allowing your self-doubt just to be self-doubt — without judgment. Be aware of the feeling. Notice where you feel self-doubt in your body and then allow the feeling to pass without focusing on it. You can also incorporate more mindful practices into your daily life.
Create a personal mantra.
A personal mantra is a phrase or a sentence that you repeat to yourself throughout the day. It’s a practice that you continue for weeks or months. Mine is “Give me your criticism, give me your rejection, and I’ll show you my worth.”
The best mantras are simple, framed positively, and are in the present tense. An example mantra to overcoming self-doubt could be: “I believe in myself.” This mantra is succinct and powerful. Make your own — if you come up with one yourself, it will be more powerful.
Put your mantra on a post-it note and place it somewhere you will see every day.
Show vulnerability.
Share your feelings of self-doubt with people you love. Chances are they have experienced similar feelings.
Brené Brown, a research professor at the University of Houston, dares us to be brave and share our vulnerabilities. She claims that when we are vulnerable and share our fears, we set ourselves free.
By expressing our vulnerabilities, we give our self-doubt less power and gain confidence. Through sharing, we become closer to a friend or loved one.
Self-doubt can become your ally to boost confidence. Incorporate one tip into your week and see how it feels. Take what feels good and leave the rest. The key to boosting your confidence is doing things that feel good to you. That is the only way you will silence your self-doubt and become confident and empowered.
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