Use Less, Feel Happier
How I’ve gained clarity of my purpose and goals in life by embracing my family’s frugal and minimalist lifestyle; and why every family should adopt this lifestyle.
“We have arrived.”
We alighted the van at Nirvana Memorial Park — where my grandfather had chosen to be buried. It felt like a heaven of sorts, nothing I expected of a graveyard: a trickling waterfall, rolling hills, and a grand praying hall. Upon asking my dad, I discovered that only the well-to-do are buried here.
My grandfather was a frugal, strict man, so it came as a shock — that he willingly parted with his money for this plot of land for him and my grandmother. Whenever we went to his house, we were not allowed to flush except when we did “big business”, or switch on the fan beyond speed 3 (out of 5), or use more than 4 pieces of toilet paper each time.
Though not in its most extreme form, this attitude towards saving money was passed down to my family. My dad raised us to never take money for granted. My grandfather’s passing made me contemplate what it meant to live this way, and why we did so.
Why do we act like we’re poorer than most people if we can well afford all our necessities?
For me, this facet of my family’s culture has become more than a financial habit, but a lifestyle. It has shaped our identities.
We have become philosophers — who question every spending decision we make. I can afford a phone, but will an iPhone really make me happier? Is this aligned with my personal goals and purpose in life? My answers to these questions have led me to find that often, meaning in life lies beyond material possessions — in people, experiences, and nature. We do not need to be Socrates, Thoreau or R.W. Emerson to understand the philosophy of frugality after all. This awareness allows us to have clarity of our priorities and spend consciously on items of greater personal value, like our education.
We have become artists — who see alternative uses in objects which others do not. This means reading unlimited Medium articles by going incognito on Chrome (DISCLAIMER: I no longer do this because I now recognize that it’s only right that I pay for the wealth of knowledge I’ve gained, for the time & effort put into every written piece), reusing the water from the washing machine to mop the floor, and chasing idols by means of cutting out their photographs from Google Images — not purchasing their official merchandise. This sort of creativity and resourcefulness was not something school could have simply taught me.
Above all, we have become shape-shifters — who see life through different lenses, to live all the lives we’re not living. Being frugal doesn’t mean we don’t travel, but we travel with purpose. We travel to experience different perspectives. The choices we make — to stay in B&Bs and fly via budget airlines — have allowed us to speak with people from all walks of life. We get to know the B&B owners personally — their livelihood, families and local culture, since we see them for the entirety of our stay — not just on a list at the changeover of a shift. In choosing to travel to nearby Southeast Asian countries, we have experienced a sliver of the lives of people for whom frugality is not a joyful choice–but a mandate for scraping by. Though limited financial ability hardly scrapes the surface of the plethora of deep-seated social issues that plague the underprivileged, we have learned to empathize.
In our living room, our chairs do not match. The colors of our furniture do not match. It is like a spot-the-difference game — which chairs were from the original set; which chairs were picked up second-hand.
But this is where my grandfather’s legacy lives on.
We have created a home that matches our values and personal ideals. He has chosen a resting place that matches his values and ideals.
Where there is a lack of material wealth, we have found abundance in every corner.