Use Body Language to Your Advantage!

These body language tricks boosted my confidence and assertiveness!

You might not realize it, but a lot of our communication happens nonverbally. What we want to say and who we really are is reflected in the way we talk with our bodies. The tricks I’m about to tell you will show you how you consciously can use your body language to better communicate with anyone really.

With our gestures and movements, we show what is going on inside us. They literally are the emotional embodiments of words in which we communicate our message. There are roughly three ways of communicating that we use to get a message across: verbal, tonal, and body language.

We’ve probably all experienced it when talking with someone whose language you don’t fully understand, you rely more on other elements to get your message across. You wave your arms around, you change your tone, or try anything else.

I remember when I first went to Poland with my brother and our mutual Polish friend. We relied on our Polish friend to guide us, but one night we ended up in a bar without our friend. When we tried to get directions to get back to our apartment, it took us a while before we got what we needed. We ended up walking home with 4 beers (Cztery means 4 in Polish, which was our apartment number and how we ended up with the 4 beers). We did get home though!

If one of the three ways of communicating is missing, it can cause a lot of misunderstanding. For example, when you email someone, you don’t have access to verbal or body language to tell your message. Meaning you’ll compensate with the tonal way of communication. But the tone of the message can be lost. And what might sound funny or sarcastic to you, could be received differently by the other person.

The best way to communicate is face to face, but I had a hard time doing that at work. It is scary to talk with your boss or with co-workers to ask them to do something for you. I always took the easy way out and email them, but often it would fall on deaf ears. So, I had to face my fears and directly speak to them.

But before I did, I read everything I could find on body language and showing confidence and assertiveness. I did write an article on assertiveness. If you are interested, click here.

The Perfect Trifecta: Stand up straight, show the palms of your hands and talk slowly

These three simple things can change the way people perceive messages from you. Standing up straight, showing the palms of your hands, and talking slowly. Then with the Clinton Box method, you only move your hands between your chest and hips. It will tell the other person you can be trusted. If your hands move higher than your chest, it shows a higher level of emotion. And people will stop taking you seriously.

With your voice, you can show leadership. If you talk in a controlled way, make good use of pausing, and finish off with a strong end, you tell the person listening that you have an important message.

But you must stay authentic. Do not force your body language, because people will see through the façade very quickly. Practice in the mirror, or practice with close friends or family. Once you’ve nailed it down, and have your first conversation with co-workers, and you get them to do what you asked them for, that is awesome!

The big ask I had of my co-workers, which I found very daunting, was to help clean and dispose of some old and dangerous chemicals. For starters, they had other projects to work on, and second, I just started working there a few weeks ago. I didn’t have any seniority to demand them to help me. So how did I go about asking them / telling them to help me?

I knocked on their door and asked them if they got a minute to listen. I remembered everything I practiced. While I straightened myself and began talking, I remained very conscious of my hand movements and the way I spoke. But I made sure it remained authentic. I saw them nodding in agreement and then they got up to help me.

This is what I said:

“That chemical area is a big mess [paused], that really needs to be sorted out. Since I just started here, I don’t know where everything needs to be disposed of. [Paused here again.] We need to start working on it before inspection comes.”

That’s all I said, and the rest is history. They agreed with everything I said, and they both got up to help. I was ecstatic that it worked, and it made my day. And now I knew I could do it.

Side hint. Don’t use words that will show doubt in the message. A few words/sentences that you should avoid are: Maybe, perhaps, if you have the chance, and (what I sometimes said), could you maybe please perhaps do this for me if you have the chance. A horrible run-on sentence I know… but that’s what happens when you are not confident or assertive at all.

There you have it. Simple and straightforward!

Thank you for your time! I hope you enjoyed reading this article. If you did, please consider following me.