WRITING

Unseen Influence Is All

We don’t know who we are influencing. Umair Haque? It doesn’t matter. Flow and presence are more important than ego.

Influence is a tricky thing. Let me compare it to a giant wave. It consists of tiny drops and every drop is as valuable as the next. Together the drops create a giant wave. And the wave is forcefully fierce.

The wave will erode rocks as if it were marshmallows.

Well, that’s influence. We are all drops. And together we might create a wave that changes the world into compassionate, healthy, and happy societies that live aligned with Mother Nature.

However, the individual drops are never like silverback gorillas. They aren’t pounding themselves on the chest every time the wave is eroding a piece of rock.

No, they just follow their destiny. Influencing without knowing what happens with their individual little contribution.

We, writers on Medium, can be drops. We can create huge waves. Together. And we don’t have to know who we influence to go on doing it. We just do it because we can. From passion. From calling. For fun!

My Hero Mentions Me

A few days ago, umair haque mentioned me in his story about change. He’s one of my new-economy heroes. And in case his name doesn’t ring a bell with you: he has 159K followers here. He’s big. This is the story.

I didn’t know he read my work. And it doesn’t matter. Because he already knows what I have to say. So he isn’t my target audience.

I write for the ones who don’t know. Who might be struggling. Who are wondering how to contribute to our fast-changing times. I write for consumers who know in their hearts they should be doing more valuable things with their precious time than shopping.

I write for entrepreneurs who want to embrace new business models and for government people who want to create resilient economies. I write about how businesses and societies can create value without waste and pollution.

I write about how to be a steward of the earth and make a decent living. And I write for all who want to be compassionate leaders of their own lives and in their communities.

Last year, I found my voice for real.

My voice includes indigenous wisdom. And technologies that support life. My voice is making a symphony out of business experience, scientific insights, and intuition.

My voice includes nature connection and poetry.

And my voice is heard. Apparently.

Uplifting Experience

And then, I read this story by my friend Rasheed Hooda. He calls himself Mister Weirdo. He’s a wise man and his story resonated with what I want to write about this morning. A healthy outlook on influence.

“Many of my regular customers at the restaurant where I was twisting wanted to know where I had been. You never know how much people appreciate what you do until you return after being AWOL. It was a truly uplifting experience to know that not only people enjoyed what I did, but also they cared about me as a person.”

“As writers, we often wonder if what we’re doing has any effect in the world. I want you to know whether you see any visible signs of it or not, you are making an impact on this world. Keep going.”

— Rasheed Hooda

Ego Versus Flow and Presence

Okay, so let’s talk about influence now. What does ‘Umair mentioning my work’ and ‘Rasheed on the road’ have to do with a healthy outlook on influence?

Let me first state that we need healthy egos to stay alive on this planet. I personally don’t believe in getting rid of our egos. Duality is the reality we have to live with in this life.

But it doesn’t mean my ego has to spin out of control just because someone I admire recognizes my value...

I’m like Rasheed, although we might seem very different on the outside. For me, it’s a truly uplifting experience to realize that people appreciate me as a person and what I do in life. But I also go on doing it without ever knowing what influence it will ever have.

I’ll be honest. My heart did a little dance when I read the mention of Umair. For me, it is proof that my work is good enough in the eyes of someone I admire.

But quickly I landed in my day-to-day life again. I already know that I’m good enough! All of me and everything I do. I don’t need Umair or anybody else to tell me.

Come on! We all know in our hearts we are good enough!

I know I have influence with every little thing I do in a day. Everybody does. And I just wake up every morning to that realization and do what I have to do. Without guilt. Without shame. I just do it because that’s what living is about.

This weekend, we had two of our grandchildren for a sleepover in our small caravan-house. Two wild boys of four and five. So my task was to listen to their stories. To feed them. To laugh with them. To play. And I did it with vigor.

Because that’s what I do.

I might have an influence on their lives. I don’t know. But I try. By living according to my own inner wisdom and showing them what that looks like. And I fail sometimes. And I’ll do better next time. And in the end, they might have a memory when they will raise their children.

And I will have had an influence.

If I would have stayed with the mention of Umair in my head, I would not have been present to our grandsons. And would never have had this influence on their lives.

Wisdom of this Story

Let me wrap it up. Enough for this Monday morning. I still have some little hands to wash and little mouths to feed.

My main message is: let’s not stay too long with one success or one failure. Let’s be a drop in the waves and just do what we do in our real lives. Being present to our real moments of influence, as tiny or big as they might be. We’ll never know upfront how big one moment of influence might turn out to be in time.

What can you take away from this story?

• We writers have an influence and we will never know to the full extent what it will be. So we write our best writing. We write honestly and with passion. And then we let it go. It’ll flow to the people who need our message and land. Or not. That’s out of our hands
• Sometimes we get a glimpse of our impact on the world. It feeds us and we take even better care what messages we bring into the world. But it will not make us into silverbacks
• Let’s remember we are drops. Only when we stick together, we can make the giant wave. And only as a wave, we will be powerful enough to make a difference in the world
• Flow and presence are all. My influence with our grandchildren will suffer when I would have been thinking about Umair’s mention too long. So I need to focus on my real life. Do what I do every day again and again. And in the end, I might have had an influence
• And please realize that our influence is fiercely powerful! We might save a life just by smiling at the girl behind the supermarket counter. She might have felt so lonely and my smile sparks a little light. It might give her the courage to go on. We’ll never know…

Happy writing! Happy living!

And if you want to connect, you can find me somewhere surfing the waves of change…

Further Reading

I invite you to connect. Here are my platforms: LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, ManyStories or my website.

© Désirée Driesenaar