Unraveling the Endless Mystery of My Twin Flame Journey
(The latest) mind-blowing revelations I have uncovered
One November morning in 2011, I woke up to a vivid memory. It was an image of my father lying unconscious in a hospital bed, bare chested, hooked up to machines. I instantly recognized this image as a memory of the day my father died.
It was a June day in 1984. This was the day he was taken off life support after seven months in a coma, following a car accident that had happened in November 1983.
I was 3 years old the day my father died. On the day I woke up to this memory in 2011, I was 30.
I was aware of how unusual it is to have such a vivid memory of something that had happened before the age of 5. But I have always carried a small handful of memories of my short time with my father in those very early years of my life.
On that November morning in 2011, I had been in “no contact” with my twin flame for a few weeks. I felt that I was making a gradual recovery from our breakup. I was very focused on self-care and had been able to create a healthy amount of space between us, given the difficult circumstances, i.e. the fact that we worked in an office together.
A couple of weeks earlier, in October, I had sent him a text telling him to “walk the other way” the next time he saw me. I wasn’t interested in being strung along or being fed breadcrumbs of attention. I knew intuitively (and from his social media) that he was exploring other “options” with other women. I wasn’t interested in being an option. So I set down a firm boundary, and I stuck by it.
The fact that this memory of my father’s death was now surfacing so vividly, felt like a breakthrough in my healing. It meant that my consciousness was serving up very clear areas of trauma that needed to be addressed.
I credited this breakthrough with the fact that I had set that boundary with my twin flame and that I had dedicated myself so fully to my healing. I had even taken a week off of work to give myself the space necessary to create the mental peace I both desired and deserved.
My mind was clear, and a path toward deeper healing was lighting up. I later shared this memory with my therapist, and she validated the fact that this was definitely a new layer of healing for me to explore.
That November day, I went to the office, and I saw my twin flame for the first time since sending him those instructions to “walk the other way.” My heart sank as we locked eyes, and he then promptly did exactly what I had asked him to do: he turned away and walked in the other direction.
I texted my therapist, who, in those days, I had on speed dial. I told her what had happened, and she pointed out that what he was doing was a sign of respect; he was honouring my request. She was right. I had set down a boundary, and he was respecting it. This was a mark of progress on all fronts.
About a week later, there was a company holiday party. I attended, apprehensively wondering if my twin flame would attend, and if he would bring a date. It turned out that he wasn’t there. I actually had a good time, and I even met a new guy at the party.
But then, something happened.
While at the party, which was in a downtown hotel ballroom, I went to the Ladies’ room. There, I crossed paths with a woman who worked on my floor at the office. She had been aware that my twin flame and I were dating, because she used to occasionally see us out getting lunch together, and he used to visit me at my desk. She had once tried to embarrass me by asking a very intrusive question: “Are you two knocking boots?”
I knew, from my own experience as well as that of other women at work, that this woman had an issue with jealousy. She was visibly rattled whenever other women received romantic attention from men that she also knew. It was like you could almost audibly hear her asking: “Why is it never me?”
Now that my twin flame and I were broken up, I was vulnerable. Now, it was as if she had the opportunity to hurt me and to make me feel what she feels.
That night in the bathroom at the company party, she informed me that she had recently met my twin flame’s new girlfriend. By some coincidence, they had all been at the same restaurant or bar the previous weekend, and he had been with other people, including a woman he had introduced as his girlfriend. This coworker described the new girlfriend as a blonde, and then added, “She’s really pretty.”
She was twisting the knife.
Fortunately for me, the universe showed up for me that night. I hit it off with the new guy I had met at the party, and I spent the night with him at his place. It was like a soft cushion for the hard blow that this woman had dealt me.
But the unsolicited information she had given me was more like a poisoned arrow. There was no way that what she had just told me was not going to infect my mind and spirit. That’s what it was intended to do.
The new guy and I had a nice time together that night. We spent the entire next morning hanging out at his place, drinking coffee and talking. He was on the rebound from a relationship, too. This is probably why we bonded. Our connection felt warm and safe. He was a good person, extremely kind. He was also very handsome and unusually tall. It was as if God had sent me an actual angel to rescue me from the hell that the woman at the party had tried to drag me into.
He was about four years younger than me. So God had a sense of humour, too; because I had always felt a little bit awkward about the fact that I was a year and a half older than my twin flame. It was like the universe was making a point out of the fact that the age difference was not as big a deal as I thought it was.
As soon as I got home, later that afternoon, I started stewing over what that woman had told me about my twin flame’s new relationship. I started trying to construct a timeline in my head, of when and how my twin flame had had the opportunity to build a serious, committed relationship with another woman within the past four months since our breakup.
Within that time, he had consistently tried to stay in my life, which included trying to maintain a sexual connection with me, all while swearing up and down that there was no one else.
That October day that I had sent the text, telling him to “walk the other way,” was apparently the day he decided to start publicly doing what he had already been doing in secret: dating another woman.
The more I thought about it, the more enraged I was. Not only because of the obvious lies and betrayal, but also because this mystery woman was apparently “good enough” for a commitment, although he could never commit to me.
What I could not get past was the fact that he had been so unwilling to let me go, that he had worked so hard to prevent me from moving on, and yet he had clearly been cultivating this other relationship in secret the entire time. That, to me, was unforgivable. That was not something I could simply ignore. It was beyond betrayal; it was downright cruel and diabolical.
I sent him a strongly-worded text demanding answers, to which he did not reply. The following Monday at work, I walked up a flight of stairs to his desk, looked him in the eye, and called him a gutless coward and a piece of shit. I followed up with an email outlining a long list of details about what an utter piece of shit he was.
A day or two later, he replied with a text basically telling me that his personal life was none of my business and that I had forfeited my rights to know anything further about him when I had told him to “walk the other way.”
He ended his text by saying: I hope one day you will realize I was doing what I felt was best.
He was referring to his reason for breaking up with me.
I replied: You did what was best for your ego.
I ended by saying: Enjoy your life.
I never spoke to him again.
For almost three years after that, we continued to work in the same office together, and it was nothing short of excruciating for me. The pain was unbearable, and my entire life from that point forward was built around surviving the pain. My entire life became about healing. There was no space in my consciousness for anything else.
It was a devastating blow, and it took a tremendous amount of mental and emotional capacity for me to continue functioning in the job and trying to move forward with my life. I felt like I was operating with a fraction of my life force energy.
One day in 2012, I had a reading with a psychic, and as she was pulling Tarot cards for me, she kept saying, “Oh, my God. Oh, my God. You are strong.” She could see how much pain I was in. She could see that it was like a crucifixion, every day that I went into that office. She said, “Most women would have left the company by now, just to get some peace.”
But I was stubborn, and I wasn’t going to let any man run me out of a job I had worked hard to obtain. A job in which I excelled. I wasn’t going to let this break me. Although, it certainly tried.
There were some wonderful things about that job, and there were some good people. But over time, it increasingly started to feel like I was in a viper’s den of toxic people who wanted to see me break.
There was one man in particular who used to bully me in front of his assistant / girlfriend, just to make her laugh. However, the very same day that I decided to finally make a complaint about him to Human Resources, was the very same day they had already planned to fire him without notice. He was the only man at that job who ever treated me in such a disrespectful manner. Most of the men there were respectful, kind and helpful.
There was also one particularly problematic woman who, as fate would have it, became my boss in late 2013. I tolerated her toxic behaviours, micromanagement, insecure and controlling behaviour for a few months. I watched her work another young woman off the team within a matter of months.
By the end of April 2014, I voluntarily left the company to escape the tyranny of my new boss. This was the start of a new chapter in my life. By August of 2014, I was enrolled in a three-year part-time business school program. By October of 2014, I had a new job.
At the new job, similar — yet different — issues began to surface to what I had experienced at my previous job. I found myself working for an insecure, controlling woman who kept me hidden. She prevented me from attending meetings or working on assignments that would give me exposure to other people in the company.
Most days, I had nothing to do. My manager would encourage me to focus on my homework for business school. It seemed as though she would rather I do anything other than my actual job. She seemed terrified of the possibility that I might get the opportunity to make a positive impression on someone who was in a position to help me progress in the company.
It was an extremely isolating job, as I was not a part of a team, and my manager was frequently at another office location, attending meetings to which I was never invited, with people I never had a chance to meet.
Energetically, I felt like I was being held prisoner in someone’s basement, locked away where no one could see me. It was harrowing and frankly traumatizing as hell.
The office itself was located in a fairly central location in downtown Toronto. It was very close to the hospital where my father had died on that June day in 1984.
Every so often, from the office window, I would be able to hear and see a helicopter landing on the roof of that hospital, presumably delivering a patient in critical condition from the scene of a serious accident. This is exactly what they had done with my father on the night of our car accident in November 1983. I was reminded of this each time I saw a helicopter landing on that roof.
By June of 2015, I was almost a year into my business school program. I became friends with three guys in my program, and one evening, the four of us went to a city park to play tennis. When I arrived, I was almost knocked sideways by what I saw on the court right next to us. It was my twin flame’s girlfriend.
However, I had no idea if they were still together. I had blocked them both on social media back in 2013 to spare myself the mental agony of knowing what was happening in their lives.
She was playing tennis with another woman. Although she was continuously hitting the ball out of bounds which was disrupting their game, her friend consoled her by saying, “You look like Maria Sharapova,” referring to the attractive Russian professional tennis player.
Again, I had this feeling of someone twisting a knife in my gut — just like that colleague of mine had done back in 2011 at that company party.
It wasn’t enough to know that I had lost my twin flame to this woman; evidently, I needed to be reminded that people found her attractive. It was as though the universe itself was taunting me.
That day on the tennis court, I handled myself with poise and grace, and I didn’t allow the situation to get the better of me. I kept my mouth shut and I didn’t mention this run-in to anyone. I left it alone.
A week or two later, one Saturday afternoon, I had booked a massage for myself and was walking down a major city street toward my appointment. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, I saw her again: the girlfriend. This time, however, she was with him. She was with my twin flame. It was as if I was being informed, against my will, that they were indeed still together. I didn’t understand why this was information I would need to know. Why was the universe rubbing him in my face?
I had not laid eyes on him in over a year. I did not need reminders of him, his girlfriend, or how “pretty” she was. I certainly did not need to know that they were still together. I couldn’t figure out why this was happening.
Soon afterwards, I went back to the same psychic who had told me, years ago, how strong I was for staying in that office with him for as long as I had. She explained to me that he was never going to get over me, but also that he was never going to admit his feelings, either. He had made his bed and he was lying in it. He was living with his choices.
She said he was as good as dead to me, and that I needed to “bury” him. She told me that all of these emotional triggers were happening because the universe was trying to wake me up. It was trying to get me onto the “right path.” I had no idea what the “right path” might be, but in the meantime I followed the intuitive nudges I received to take comfort in spiritual books like Meet Your Soul by Elisa Romeo and Light is the New Black by Rebecca Campbell.
By mid-2016, I had had enough of the horrible situation at my job, and I hired an employment lawyer. I negotiated a settlement with the company for hiring me into a job that wasn’t a job, and for sticking me under a toxic manager who had messed with both my career and my mental health.
I spent the next year of my life focusing on business school, and energetically recovering from all of the traumatic experiences I had been through in recent years.
Within the first few months of leaving the job, I felt I had recovered enough to feel comfortable to start trying to date again. As soon as I did, my very first date, in October 2016, was a complete and utter disaster. The guy was a narcissistic energy vampire. It took me months to recover from that one extremely terrible experience.
In the spring of 2017, I started a new job that felt like a major setback for me; I was very overqualified for the job, and the people I worked for were, yet again, extremely controlling.
In June of that year, on the 33rd anniversary of my father’s death, I graduated from business school.
I was constantly on the lookout for a job that would be better suited to my qualifications. In the fall of 2018, I applied for a job in business that I was very excited about, and the company contacted me for an interview. Soon afterward, I met up with a couple of guys I had worked with at my previous job; the one that was located near the hospital where my father had died.
We met up at a restaurant near their office for a few drinks. I told them about my exciting new job opportunity. Instead of encouraging me, they spent the evening outlining all the reasons why I wasn’t going to get the job.
Nevertheless, I got the job.
I started in the first week of January 2019. Numerologically, 2019 was an “8” year for me — a year of karma. It was a year of reaping the rewards of my efforts.
My new office was about a 23-minute walk from my place. There was no one perfect route to get to the office; there were multiple potential routes. One morning in late 2019, I decided to change my usual route on a whim.
My new route took me past the hospital where my father had died. About ten minutes past that point, I found myself treading the very same stretch of pavement on which I had passed my twin flame and his girlfriend that day in June 2015. A few more minutes down the road, I was at my office.
In early 2020, the pandemic started and I moved out of the city and started working remotely.
In early September of 2020, through a divine synchronicity, I received the shocking news that my twin flame had recently died of cancer. Numerologically, 2020 was a “9” year for me — a year of completion. It had also been 9 years since my twin flame and I had broken up; in fact, he had passed away on the 9 year anniversary of that very day.
In June of 2021, the memory of my deceased twin flame began to trouble me. I booked a healing session with a shamanic healer. I told her about my dead ex-boyfriend and I asked her if she knew why I was feeling haunted by him. She said, “He was meant to be a part of your healing,” but that he had, essentially, failed to fulfill his soul contract with me.
After that session, I started receiving intuitive insights about soul loss and soul retrieval. It occurred to me that I was missing essential parts of my soul, and that the trauma of that breakup had had something to do with it. Fortunately for me, I had just met a shaman, so I knew who to go to for help with retrieving the lost parts of my soul.
In early July 2021, I scheduled a soul retrieval via Zoom with that same shamanic healer I had met back in June.
She took me through a guided meditation, and she asked me what I could see. What I saw in my mind’s eye was a mountain and a waterfall that looked like they were not of this Earth. I didn’t tell her what I saw, because I thought it was just my imagination.
She asked me who I saw. I saw me, as a little girl of 3 years old; the age I was when my father died. We went through a healing in which I reconciled with my father for leaving me.
In the weeks after that session, I found that I was still feeling unsettled about that “unfulfilled soul contract” with my ex. I scheduled a follow up session with the healer, which is when she shared a life-changing piece of information: my deceased ex was my twin flame.
I spent the next several months of my life learning about twin flames and writing about my personal experience.
By November of 2021, I had drafted an entire book manuscript about my journey. I was making tremendous progress. I was having one breakthrough after another. I felt that I was making up for lost time; for the ten years that I had spent not knowing that I was on a twin flame journey. I trusted this shaman to act as a midwife for my spiritual progress on my deeply sacred inner journey.
In the summer of 2022, I hired a book editor to help me develop and refine the narrative of my book. I was deciding between two editors, and at the last minute, I chose the one that my logic mind told me to select, even though I felt a better connection with the one I ultimately didn’t choose.
In August of 2022, the editor I had hired sent me an analysis dissecting my my twin flame narrative in a critical, overly logical way that caused me to revisit and start rewriting the entire manuscript. The problem with this, is that this caused me to again relive all of the trauma that I had just finished purging onto those pages.
As I relived my trauma by rewriting the book, I also developed an unhealthy dependency on the shamanic healer, who appeared to be keeping me stuck in an endless loop of healing. Every time that I was on the verge of a breakthrough, she would say or do something that would trigger a setback. Between this and the constant deja vu invoked by rewriting the book, I was becoming exceptionally drained. In December of 2022, I stopped going to her.
Around that time, I consulted with another intuitive healer who has experience providing healing and ethical guidance to shamanic practitioners. She explained to me that sometimes, psychic energies can get “hijacked.” She explained that my shaman had most likely become compromised by an energy that did not want me to heal. In other words, my shaman had been manipulated by a dark energy into actively and deliberately harming me and sabotaging my progress.
By then, I was utterly depleted, and I didn’t feel like I could trust anyone. For about six months, I tried to heal on my own, binge-watching spiritual content online, and consulting various spiritualists on a one-off basis when I had questions or felt like I could use some support. I felt empty inside and I couldn’t connect with my heart.
By then, I had also started writing regularly on Medium. In March of 2023, I received a profound insight about the “divine masculine.” I understood, more clearly than ever, that the “divine masculine” is an energy that a person can choose to either embody, or not embody.
I understood that the man that I now knew as my twin flame, had essentially decided not to embody that energy. I understood that the energy of the divine masculine is accessible to the “divine feminine” whether or not her twin flame ever chooses to be an embodied divine masculine. The energy of the divine masculine will bring her the strength and protection she needs, regardless of what any human decides to do with his or her free will.
I channeled these insights into a post on Medium. I wasn’t sure whether to publish them. But as I sat looking out my window, trying to decide what to do, an unusual number of birds showed up outside my window. I had come to understand that birds were a spirit animal for me, and that spirit was urging me to post these insights about the “divine masculine.” So I did.
Soon, a man posted a harshly critical comment on my story. No one had ever been that brutal in the comments of my stories. He called my story a “ranting, seething projection” and went on about how my story basically proved that I had not forgiven, had not done enough introspection, and that he wasn’t convinced that I was truly a twin flame. I posted an innocuous response, agreeing with him on one point he had made — that a twin flame is a mirror.
He then responded with yet another lengthy comment in which he further dissected my writing. I went to his profile, and saw that he, himself, had only ever published one story, which was already by now a few years old. I understood in that moment that the only person doing any projection, was him.
Something had gotten into him. His insecurities had been triggered by my post, and some lower consciousness had now convinced him it was a good idea to take out his frustrations on me, a woman who was using her energy to produce meaningful content on Medium.
A few months later, in June 2023, I posted another story about my experience with the divine masculine. Soon, I received a notification that that same man had again posted a comment on my story. I went to review the comment, and saw that it had disappeared before I even had a chance to read it.
It occurred to me that perhaps this time, the man had become conscious of the lower energies that were trying to work through him to attack me. This time, perhaps he had found the will to restrain himself at the very last minute.
At the end of that month, I had an extremely triggering confrontation with a woman in the lobby of my workplace. It was so upsetting that my energy was extremely scattered, and I could barely see straight. I went home in a daze, and it became increasingly clear that I had been psychically attacked. Something about that situation was trying desperately to pull me into embodying a lower version of myself.
When I arrived at home, I noticed a number of significant birds stationed outside my house. Most memorably, there were two doves nestled together on my doorstep, and a red cardinal standing on the ground just a few feet away from them, in the garden. The realm of spirit was sending me a clear message of support. This was also a clue that that awful confrontation at my office was much more significant than it had appeared on the surface.
A few days later, I mustered up the courage to place my trust in a new shamanic healer. It was clear that spirit was calling me into a deeper connection. My new healer said, “You spirit guides really wanted your attention.”
One morning in August, I went to her home for a healing session. She took me through a guided shamanic journey, and she asked me if I could see anything. I couldn’t see anything at all. So, she described to me what she saw. It was a mountain and a waterfall from another planet; it was my home planet. I realized that what she was describing was the very same vision I had received during my first soul retrieval session with the first shaman, back in 2021.
Then she said, “Something happened to you when you were three years old.” I explained to her that it was my father’s death. With the help of my guides, she retrieved my inner child from the hospital where my father had died, that June day in 1984, and with the help of Archangel Michael, she returned that vital soul fragment back to me. When our session was complete, she explained to me that a piece of my soul, and of my father’s soul, were essentially being energetically detained in that hospital, for all these years.
My inner child had kept going back to that hospital every time something happened in my life to make her feel scared and unsafe. The healer told me that my guides had instructed her to energetically “burn the hospital,” so that my inner child could not go back there again.
I went home to rest and integrate this essential healing. As I lay on my bed, resting, the insights came to me in a flood. It occurred to me that the hospital was on the very same street where I had bumped into my twin flame and his girlfriend that day in 2015. Not only that, but the city park where I had been playing tennis that day when I saw his girlfriend a week or two before that, was also on the same street. And then there was that awful confrontation with that woman in my office lobby — that was on the same street, too!
All of these extremely triggering events had happened on the same major city street, which happened to be where the hospital was located where my father had died.
Then, the next revelation hit me. The memory I had awoken to, that November day in 2011. The memory of my father’s death. It wasn’t a memory. It was a vision. On that morning in November 2011, I was being shown where a vital piece of my soul was being detained, in the astral realm.
And ever since that day, I had been circling that location, over and over and over again — because that piece of my soul was calling me back. My spirit team was repeatedly pointing me back to that essential part of myself, without which I would never be whole.
It occurred to me that, throughout my life, whenever I remembered that day, I was always on the right side of my father’s hospital bed. I was being held in my grandfather’s arms, and I was looking down at my father. But on that morning, in November 2011, when I had received that vision, I was on the left side of the bed, and I was seeing him from a different vantage point. I was seeing through the eyes of my soul.
Over the next several months, my healing journey continued. In February 2024, I booked an astral healing session. I consulted a healer to help me make sure that all missing soul fragments of mine that may still be detained in the astral realm were found and returned back to me.
The healer validated my suspicion that my first shaman had an entity attachment, and that this was why she had been sabotaging my progress. But there was more to it: that shaman was also practicing black magic to deliberately send me energetic attacks. The astral healer explained that my former shaman had been compromised by a galactic entity that was basically using her like a tool to try and spiritually attack me.
She also explained why this was happening: “You signed up to do something very important in this lifetime.”
This was why galactic entities were working so damn hard to attack me through anyone they could find, including incompetent shamans. She explained that their strategy was to break me so badly that I wouldn’t trust anyone, and I’d abandon my spiritual path entirely.
I told my astral healer about some of the healing I had already done, including the most recent soul retrieval in the summer of 2023. I shared with her my insight about the fact that all of these massive triggers had happened on the very same city street where that vital piece of my soul was being detained.
A couple of days later, she sent me a message that basically said: “By the way, that street you mentioned had demonic portals running all along it. I’ve closed them.”
My jaw dropped. I realized, this street was also the location of one of the city’s major mental health institutions. I informed the astral healer of this, and she replied, “That was probably the epicentre of it all.”
Slowly, it all started clicking into place. That November morning in 2011, I had received a vital piece of information that was bringing me very close to finding and reclaiming the most precious part of my soul, which was stuck in that hospital, on that street. Reclaiming her would have been a major step toward becoming whole and complete, and stepping into my power.
The galactic entities that were trying to sabotage my progress couldn’t let that happen. They sent the coworker into that bathroom on the night of the company party to sabotage my progress by telling me about my twin flame’s new girlfriend.
They took advantage of this coworker’s weaknesses — her jealousy — to manipulate her into being a tool for their sabotage. That woman had no idea what a grievous mistake she was making, and what a monumental setback she was causing me on my journey. She thought she was “just” projecting her pain onto another woman. What she was doing was far more serious than that.
Then there were the run-ins on the tennis court and the city street with my twin flame’s girlfriend in 2015. Those were not divinely orchestrated synchronicities. They were demonic attacks. They were emotional torture tactics, meant to throw me off my game by triggering jealousy and showing me that my twin flame was still with his karmic partner.
Then there was that awful date in 2016 with that narcissistic man, which left me feeling totally depleted and utterly defeated. At that point, I gave up on dating, so they continued to sabotage me primarily through people I worked with.
I experienced a big setback by taking an unfulfilling job in 2017. Then, when I was on the cusp of getting an exciting new job in late 2018, my former coworkers tried to mess with my mind by telling me there was no chance I would get it. As I recalled that night in the restaurant bar with those two coworkers, I also recalled the location of that bar; it was steps away from that very same street where all those other strange events had occurred.
Once I started the new job in 2019, I dealt with a lot of energetic attacks through a wide range of energy-vampire-like behaviours and people. It was exceptionally challenging. It often felt like a game of survival, and I felt like a warrior being molded for battle. By then, however, I had learned how to bend and not break. By then, I knew I was unbreakable.
Then, I found that shaman in 2021, who was ultimately used to undermine and derail my progress. Then there was the book editor I hired in 2022, whose criticism sent me back into reliving my trauma. Then there was the man who harshly criticized my article about the divine masculine. Then there was the experience with the woman I had argued with in the lobby of my workplace.
Once I overcame those hurdles and found a healer, in July 2023, who had “clean” energy, I realized her energy seemed clean because she was largely avoiding — not facing — the darkness. She didn’t want to hear or talk about my experiences within the realm of shadow. She prided herself on refusing to work with clients who have entity attachments. She only wanted to focus on the light. She was never going to help me get to the bottom of things.
To varying degrees, many of my healers wanted me to essentially “move forward” and build a new edifice on an unstable foundation. Meanwhile, I was still digging in the dirt to create a foundation deep enough to hold what I would ultimately become. I was still excavating and illuminating shadows lurking in the distant past.
I had never understood why certain places around the city made me feel extremely sick to my stomach, as well as a foggy-headed, headache-y feeling. Now, I know that galactic entity attachments can cause that aching, sick feeling, as well as heaviness and congestion in the stomach and other areas of the body. So do triggers related to past life karma.
Throughout my life, I was repeatedly receiving emotional triggers accompanied by heavy, dense energies when I was on that one particular street. It happened so frequently that it was my “normal” and yet I knew it wasn’t normal.
I was just never able to properly verbalize to any healer or therapist what was causing my distress. I felt completely insane saying, “There are certain places in this city that make me feel sick just thinking about them.” How was anyone supposed to help me overcome that?! It didn’t make rational, logical sense. But there were buildings, intersections, and streets around the city that made me feel ill at the mere thought of them.
It occurred to me that this is likely why so many people develop addictions — to numb a pain that they can’t explain and therefore feel they can’t address.
I knew it wasn’t a coincidence that as soon as my healer mentioned demonic portals, I had instantly recalled that there was a mental health institution on that street. It made perfect sense; but for me, I assumed my personal connection to that street was largely related to the fact that my father had died on the hospital on the east end of that street.
A week after I received all that information, I woke up one Saturday morning and was guided to Google a particular number. The very first suggestion that popped up was an address, on the west end of that same street. I clicked on it, and was instantly directed to a page explaining that this was the former address of that very mental health institution I had just mentioned to my healer.
I learned that the address had been changed in 1979, because the institution had such a dark and problematic past. This was the first time I was learning that this mental health facility used to be called a “Lunatic Asylum” when it opened in 1850, and was then renamed “Asylum for the Insane” in 1871. The place was over 170 years old.
Just looking at some of the old pictures of the “asylum” made me feel ill at ease, and it pained my heart.
It dawned on me that in my healing session last December with Metatron Is Speaking, Susan had told me I had been in an asylum in a past life, and that I had suffered dark entity attachments. I always assumed, for some reason, that it had been an asylum somewhere in Europe. I didn’t think I had had many past lives in Canada. Could this have been the same asylum?
I asked my own spirit, and I received a clear “yes.” I was also guided to reach out to Susan and Jennifer to ask them if this was the asylum that Archangel Metatron had shown to Susan during our healing session in December 2023.
When I did, Jennifer replied: Metatron is saying yes. He says you have been there several times.
It was, at once, the most troubling and yet the most relieving piece of information anyone has ever given me. It struck a chord of deep resonance with me. I knew it was true. I had an instant sense of trauma starting to leave my body.
Suddenly I knew for sure that all those times throughout my life that I have felt intensely sick in certain locations throughout the city, it was for a very good reason. It was all tied to past life karma and trauma, exacerbated by energetic attacks from galactic entities.
There were pieces of my soul that I had lost — in this lifetime and others —located in various locations of this city, particularly on either end of this one major city street.
On the east end of the street, I had left a piece of my inner child, on the day my father died. On the west end of the street, I had lost fragments of my soul in that mental hospital, possibly across various past lifetimes. I had been repeatedly trying to come back and get it right, and each time, I was attacked by entities that wanted to foil my progress to keep essential pieces of me energetically trapped on that street, in those hospitals, forever.
They were keeping me in a quite literal hell. They were trying to prevent me from reclaiming those soul fragments and becoming whole.
At every turn, every time I was about to transcend another hurdle, they tried to pull me back. They used vulnerable people who had access to me through various channels — i.e. coworkers, healers, online haters, potential love interests. They infiltrated these peoples’ consciousnesses via their own personal ego-based insecurities.
These people and situations were used to try to keep my vibration low so that I could not connect with the divine.
I can almost hear the entities whispering in their ears: “Who does she think she is?” These people and situations were all trying, in some way or another, to tear me down, disrupt my progress, and “put me in my place.” They were trying to make sure I never dreamed it possible to transcend the horrors and limitations of the past.
In the process, they were continuously trying to manufacture circumstances that would land me right back in that mental hospital, yet again. They were trying to make me break.
But this time, I won.
These entities had used my twin flame to try to make me crazy, but that pain spurred me into becoming deeply devoted to my healing. I went to business school to heal my mind, and then I graduated from business school on the anniversary of my father’s death, which was the origin of my trauma in this lifetime.
Then, with the benefit of that degree, I manifested a rewarding career at a company located on the very same street where many of those psychic attacks occurred. Now, I was receiving a steady paycheque from a company address on the same street where that mental health institution is located — the very one that I have been to “several times” in lifetimes gone by.
If that isn’t transcending karma, I don’t know what is.
On the spiritual awakening journey, we experience moments of feeling utterly abandoned by God. This evokes thoughts of ascended master Jesus and his crucifixion, the moment in which he cried out to God asking, “Why have you abandoned me?”
What kind of a God would send a beloved child to Earth to suffer like this? What is divine about that?
What my journey has revealed to me, is that it is not the divine which causes us to suffer. It is, in fact, the demonic. There is nothing divine about a crucifixion or any form of mental, physical or emotional torture or trauma inflicted on a living being.
We were not sent to Earth by God to suffer. We came to Earth to confront and overcome the demonic energies which have ruled this planet for millennia. We came because we knew that the love and light we carry within us is far more powerful than the darkness that pervades this earth.
The experiences and the people which have caused or triggered your suffering in this life are not divine in and of themselves. It is the way in which you face these trials which allows the divine to enter your consciousness so that a miraculous solution can manifest.
From the highest perspective, you can say it was pre-planned, because the divine always helps you find a way out. But the divine didn’t plan your suffering, and it does not wish for you to live a life without love, bliss and comfort. The divine wants you to experience deep, unconditional love, peace, joy and fulfillment.
Your job is to raise your frequency enough to connect with the divine so that you can clearly hear it speak to you; so that you can clearly see the path that has been lit up for you to follow.
I hope this has helped to illuminate some of the pain and confusion that we face on an awakening journey. The realm of spirit is always on the side of you and your victory, in service of the highest good.
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