Unofficially Official: No Pay For External Views
Wow! What a change!
Did you hear the news?
I heard it from Susie Kearley, an accredited writer on Medium and other places where she seriously writes. So I believe her. Link at the end.
The whole thing made my neurons flip and jump in excitement, and I felt the urgent need to express my feelings on the matter. Strangely enough, they came out in the form of a short story and I’m too generous not to share it with you.
“You’d better get a real second job!” — thundered Zeus from his uncomposed and lascivious sitting pose on the supreme throne. Embedded in gems, the hard wooden chair didn’t caress his soft ass that much. Being allergic to duck-feathered cushions, those were not an option as well.
Sometimes he fantasized about bungee jumping. Could it become more comfortable than the regal chair he was obliged to sit on many hours a day to fulfill all measly human incongruent material needs?
Of course, he could fly on the wings of freedom, and play hide and seek appearing and boostappearing from time to time into someone’s life.
But, ¡Por el amor de una mujer!, could he stand his uncomfortable position any longer? What if he tried abdicating his Big Powerful Chair in exchange for a comfortable mattress? Hogan Torah could give him prime, precise, and lucid advice on the best one on the market. He, Hogan, could eventually substitute him in his tiring tasks and daily fatigues.
First thing first, he would decide on a mandatory paid monthly week off for every writer. Why? Because routine changes are everything in life. Once you’re an established low-maintenance fellow, what’s more exciting than change? Hogan knows and is an expert. Nobody’s reading anymore, anyway.
Do you want more paid reading time? He would rock out of his hipster beard a sonorous “F..k y..! Do you think I’m Santa? Get your week off. No external reads count”. Meanwhile, you could also decide to get better at IT and Seo, by taking free courses on the Internet.
“And then?” — would the naive people from down earth ask him full of hope and lost desire? “Where shall we go? What shall we do?” “Nothing” — self-evident as a bear out of hibernation, he would answer. “Nothing is the answer. Nothing ever changes. It’s all in your mind”.
Zeus had enough of his wandering and imaginific power and thought he would better take care of more intriguing affairs. No, not sex with Leda, you stupid humans!
He was going to present at The Intergalactic Summit and wanted to bet Earth out of his pocket. All those ridiculous nitty gritty petty humans playing at being writers better disappear like ants and leave space to Space. Well, ants never disappear actually, like stars. What about human writers?
One thing was sure. No external read would ever change their indulgent lives. Why bother about them any longer?
Thank you for reading.
I enjoyed writing this piece and felt some humor is still in survival mode in me. Brave in the exact amount of pride as to write, not edit, and publish it under the attentive surveillance of Smillew Rahcuef, here comes my story about the news of a missing change. Maybe April’s solar eclipse will determine the facts otherwise. Who knows?
