Unlucky demon
Incubus opens his eyes because somebody is shaking him harder and harder. “Incubus, wake up you stupid demon, I need to close the bar and you are sleeping on my counter!”, said Algol with a harsh and thick voice, most probably from smoking an eternity.
“Shut your mouth Algol and let me sleep. Why you must be such a baby every time I get drunk and sleep on your counter?”
“Oh, my Satan, now I am convinced that you are, a big idiot!”
“Go to Hell Algol!”
“I am already there, but you are too stupid to notice even that!”, said Algol, and both demons started to laugh as hard as they could.
In the past 100 years, the work volume for demons increased year after year keeping the pace with the growth of Earth population. Hiring of a junior demon became more and more difficult because the souls that are fit for the job, usually arrive after a very long and prosper life on Earth. When the job is presented, these souls laugh and try to use their influence and money, which makes the demon who interview them to be so proud. As they all are in Hell, nobody is lucky so, Hell Inc. find very hard new workforce, and the souls who arrive and refuse the job don’t have a second chance, but they don’t know.
Incubus left the pub and started to walk to the office. The life in the city was very hard, as you might imagine. Lost souls were wandering on the city streets never finding what they were searching, mob demons were collecting protection tax from local business owners, strange demons were trying to sell drugs that only made you addicted but didn’t have any effect, police demons fined only humans and the punishment was only more and more years in Hell.
“Help us, you look like a kind demon mister!”, said a lost soul from heaven. They were in Hell because during a trip, which was something common between heaven and Hell, the bus driver was corrupted by two sneaky demons to do some bad things which they all thought would be funny. He put duct tape at the bus entrance and one ladie lost her eyebrows, he disguised in a bush and scared the hell out of his passengers, and he put toothpaste on all handles. He deserved to remain in Hell for this.
“I’m sorry but I cannot help you, if somebody see me, I’ll be punished for one thousand years!” said Incubus with a sweet voice. If you didn’t saw his horns, his tail and the purple color, you would not say he is a demon, and a very bad one. He has a very pleasant appearance, with very big like puppy eyes, a calm and sweet voice that would trick every human. He was feeling sad and sorry for every almost every poor soul he met on the streets of Hell but in front of the other demons he must show that he is a very bad demon that enjoy hunting humans in their dreams.
“Good morning Ipos!”
“Hi Incubus!”, said Ipos while he was playing a very popular game among office workers where he was moving some game cards from a stack to other stacks. “Please be careful with my coffee mug, I don’t want to buy a new mug once again, because of you.”
“Don’t worry Ipos, I told you, I want to become a better version of me, I want to reinvent myself, a new person, be more careful with …”, the sound of liquid dripping from desk and a shatter sound stopped Incubus from his speech.
“Seems you are not there yet, still a stupid.”
Incubus opened his computer to check what new tasks he has for the new sprint that was started this morning. The new project manager came with fresh forces and put for each employee a task to come up with new ideas and optimizations for terrorizing humans on Earth. The velocity of the teams was not so great, and the project manager thinks this can be improved by working smarter and not harder. Every demon except Incubus, which is not so smart, knows that this is bullshit, and all that it means is more work for all of them. Instead, Incubus is very excited for this new way of working because he thinks if they optimize the work they would work less. Checking the tasks, he has 10 persons to hunt in this sprint, with 3 more since last Agile sprint. He observes that one task has the highest priority, and it was a man who he had to visit, in his sleep. This was strange because Incubus’s job was to have sex with sleeping persons. He was in shock, in a thousand years since he started this job, he never had a man to work with, now was the first time.
While in the cab, a lot of thoughts started to pass through his mind about this situation. He arrived on Earth right in front of the home where the man lives. He stopped in front of the door a second thinking to go back, but at least he made the courage to go inpassing through the wall, on Earth, demons were like ghosts, but they still had to be careful not to get caught by a priest or a demon hunter. Incubus goes upstairs, enter in the room where the man was sleeping and just as he was preparing to invade mane’s dreams, a priest jumped from the closet holding a cross, spraying holy water and throwing salt on him, making him blind for a few seconds, during which the man jumped from bed and took off a carpet which revealed some ancient symbols on the ceiling that created a trap, like a cage, holding Incubus inside.
“We got him!”, said the priest while he was preparing the mobile trap to move the demon in the church basement. The priest, helped by the man who was so close to have sex in his dreams with a demon, took Incubus in the church basement where they threw him on the floor. There were the same symbols that create the trap holding demons inside.
“What is your name?”, said a voice from the shadows, a tierd and old voice that you could barely hear.
“I am Incubus, who are you? Where I am?”, Incubus was trying to figure out where he was, after the bath with holy water and salt from man’s home. He was feeling like a human who received some peper spray in his face.
“My name is Samael. You are trapped in the basement of a church, and you will remain here for a very long time, with me.”. Samael was the anoying demon, he was the one who would not let you alone until you could not take it anymore and you would start to do what he wants just to leave you alone. Luckly for the people on Earth, we was trapped for a few hunderd years under the church.
Incubus was happy that he was not alone there because, he was not so smart. He couldn’t understand yet what happened and the consequences he will face, forever, being trapped with Samael under the same church.
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