Unique Leadership Wisdom for Busy Dads and Mums

How to lead in various field and succeed in all

You know how you hear that Daddies are the leaders at home and you feel overwhelmed because of the various responsibilities on you. Where the woman should step-up at home too, it’s a heavy burden.

At work, you are head of your department and there are responsibilities at home too. There are other groups demanding your attention too: religious and social groups. There is no need to run away from these responsibilities. I know it can be overwhelming but there is a way to ease this burden that nothing in your life suffers it.

I am an Associate Pastor, I have several responsibilities to the people in my care. I am a husband, I have responsibilities to my wife. I am a father, I have responsibilities to my kids.

You see, all these responsibilities mentioned are the basics, there are other responsibilities attached to them. There are times I have felt so tired and I wished I could walk away. I wished to walk away because I don’t want to be the reason any part of my responsibilities will suffer.

The feelings are real, but I have learnt that I need the wisdom to ease out and be effective in all. In most of my articles, I love to emphasize that;

Success is not in a single key but combinations of keys.

This unique wisdom I want to discuss in this article is key to success. When you combine it with other principles of good leadership in your life, you will be excellent in your jobs.

Tag your Associate

The unique wisdom is to tag your Associate along with you in all your work. The reason the task falls apart when a leader looks away for a minute is that he has not been carrying his Associate along. Sometimes, this also happens when a leader has not been carrying an Associate along and he hands over the job.

As a busy dad and mum, we can’t avoid being in either of these shoes. What we must do it to tag our Associates (husband/wife/caregiver) along in our tasks. The task of Parenting is a serious one and if not looked after could destroy a home.

When it’s time to hand over, don’t dump position on someone, learn how to strengthen the leader before you leave. Many homes crumble when the dad travels for long. As a Single Parent, someone is the caregiver in your absence, strengthen the leader in that person before you leave. Daddies shouldn’t expect Mummies to do magic when they are not at home if they’ve not strengthened the leader in their Associate.

How do you strengthen your Associate?

There are two effects that strengthening your Associate will have:

1. Reinforces your Associate’s authority.

2. Fortifies your Associate’s leadership ability.

Authority

I once heard an old story of a tough leader of a group. People feared him and he commanded so much respect in the community where he conducted his trading business. He doesn’t smile for too long at anyone nor had he ever joke with any of his team members before.

When it was time for him to relocate, he needed who to manage the business. He couldn’t leave the business for one of his Associates because he was afraid he hasn’t built a fantastic structure. One late night his wife caught him deep in thought and asked him what troubles him. After she listened to him, she gave him the wisdom to apply;

Pick one of your trusted Associates and for the next six months, go to work with him. Throw your hand around his neck, and laugh with him while others watch you. Call him in for exclusive meetings whether there is a reason for it or not. Eat and drink with him.

Take him to places that only you have been going and let him act on your behalf. Whether his judgment is wrong or not, throw your weight behind him publicly and correct him behind if needed. When all these are done, then you can hand over to him and relocate.

This story explains how to strengthen your Associate. Husbands, make sure you carry your wife along in your leadership decisions around the home. Let your kids know her authority is as strong as yours. Couples should back each other up in front of their kids and do the necessary correction between themselves behind the door.

As a busy single mum, if you have a trusted Associate, let your kids know your authority is the caregiver’s authority. As a leader in your organization, do the same for your trusted Associate. When you should be away for some time, your home will be in order.

And if it’s a company, when you must leave, the authority of your Associate that will be in-charge is already strengthened. The organization will be good in your absence.

Ability

When you carry your Associate along in your decisions, it prepares them for the unknown that might happen in the future. If you are absent, your Associate can replicate your process or improvise with the lesson learned from watching you closely. You can’t always do former teaching for everything.

Training is beyond former teaching on what to do and what to avoid. Training involves inclusion in deciding and sometimes, observation while you work behind the scene.

I saw two examples of this kind of leadership development in the Bible too:

“The Lord replied, “Go down and bring Aaron up with you. But the priests and the people must not force their way through to come up to the Lord, or he will break out against them. “ — Ex 19:24 NIV

At the end of this story, Aaron had nothing to do on that mountain. Aaron tagged along to witness the behind the scene of Moses, his boss.

“Six days later Jesus took Peter and the two brothers, James and John, and led them up a high mountain to be alone.” — Matt 17:1NIV

At the end of this story, Peter, James and John had nothing to do on the mountain. Jesus took them because He would hand over to them later.

Final thought,

The wisdom of bringing your trusted Associate closer to your decisions is beyond close mentoring. In close mentoring, the remaining team members are not the focus. In tagging your Associate, it is showing him off to the rest of the team. There must be a non-verbal communication that you are in support with everything that that Associate does in your absence.

This is a strong signal that your sword is your Associate’s sword. Despite how busy you are as a Dad or as a Mum, you can succeed in all. If this wisdom is applied to your life then nothing will suffer in your hands.

Stay in charge!