Unexpected Ways a Show Can Help Your Mental Health

How “It’s Okay To Not Be Okay” on Netflix fights mental health stigma

It’s Okay to Not be Okay is a Korean drama on Netflix, unlike any TV show I’ve ever seen. It will tug on your heartstrings, but in ways more emotionally provoking than the typical romantic comedy. It is raw, resonating, and relatable. I cried copious ugly tears during each episode, which was surprisingly therapeutic.

Mental health issues are depicted through an empathetic lens, which struck me personally since mental illness runs in my family. How I’ve ‘lost’ my brother to schizophrenia only scratches the surface.

My shadows were playing on-screen. It was surreal, as parallels from my life took shape across multiple characters. There were countless similarities but one significant difference. I grew up crippled by shame — this show makes you feel anything but ashamed.

According to Brian K. Ahmedani in the Journal of Social Work Values and Ethics, there are three levels of stigma: social stigma, self-stigma, and professional stigma.

What’s unique about this drama is that it manages to fight all three types of stigma, but most notably self-stigma:

“Stigma is not only held among others in society but can also be internalized by the person with the condition. Thus, the continued impact of social/public stigma can influence an individual to feel guilty and inadequate about his or her condition … in self-stigma, the knowledge that stigma is present within society, can have an impact on an individual even if that person has not been directly stigmatized. This impact can have a deleterious effect on a person’s self-esteem and self-efficacy, which may lead to altered behavioral presentation.” — Ahmedani

Although the title’s direct translation is “Psycho, But It’s Okay,” the English name speaks volumes about how we should view mental illness.

What is this drama about?

Netflix hails it as:

“An extraordinary road to emotional healing opens up for an antisocial children’s book writer and a selfless psych ward caretaker when they cross paths.”

What is missing in the synopsis that shares a crucial spotlight is the heartwarming brotherhood between the caretaker and his autistic older brother. They both grow up orphaned, and it’s a fight for survival throughout inner turmoils.

A central theme explored with contrast and flashbacks is a wounded inner child in each adult. As the show progresses, we see how the characters peel back layers to process and release trauma, redeeming their missed childhoods and finding new meanings of happiness.

It may be fictional, but the themes explored are real. The dialogue imparts you with timeless truths and even psychotherapy methods on how to manage stressful situations.

Never mind that you might have to watch this show with subtitles if you don’t understand Korean — it proves that mental health struggles are universal.

The magic is in the compelling storytelling through fairy tales, filled with morals to be applied in real life. In these moments, the script becomes more fact than fiction.

Here are quotes that stood out the most to me.

“Hurtful, painful memories. Memories of deep regret. Memories of hurting others and being hurt. Memories of being abandoned. Only those with such memories buried in their hearts can become stronger, more passionate, and emotionally flexible. And only those can attain happiness.”

This show is all about healing deep psychological and emotional wounds, and as viewers, we follow along on their journey to overcoming trauma. At the same time, you may revisit your own past hurts, see how far you’ve come and how everything awful that has happened to you has made you more resilient.

“One must face one’s trauma to overcome it.”

Well, isn’t that the truth? You can run, but you can’t hide. Those traumas that you try to ignore or suppress and bury deep will only surface and fester into your future unless you face them head-on and deal with it.

“The first step is always the hardest. But once you take your first step, things will get easier from then on.”

The beloved psychiatrist spoke this quote on the show, who tries tirelessly to work with his patients to get well and get out of his hospital. He makes you feel that there is no shame in admitting you need help, and that is often the most difficult hurdle to get over. It’s all downhill from there.

“If you want to make the people around you happy, you must find your own happiness first. Being selfish isn’t always a bad thing. Try to only think about your happiness when things are too stressful. It’s okay to do that.”

This is on par with the saying how you need to love yourself before you love others. Give away too much and neglect yourself, and you will have nothing left to give. To main character sacrifices himself, suppresses his own emotions and desires to be his brother’s primary caregiver. We see how it takes a toll on him. How does he manage to cope? You’ll have to watch to find out!

“You can cherish and care about people in different ways. Think about the different kinds of yellow. Even the same color can take different names depending on its chroma. The same goes for human emotions, such as affection, fondness, hatred, love, friendship, and lust. They are like a rainbow.”

The dialogue from this scene stresses the importance of not labeling or “numbering” people. We cannot all be painted under the same brush. Even if you and I may have experienced the same emotion or hardship, it is never identical. We are all unique and complicated. To accept one another fully, we have to respect those differences.

“Don’t let the past trap you. You can’t get out once you’re trapped in the past. You won’t be able to see the door.”

Perhaps one of the most challenging lessons to learn in life is how to live in the present, not to waste time dwelling and to ruminate over the past. But once you break free from those toxic thought patterns, you will learn that it is possible to cultivate the life you want.

Alexander Graham Bell said: “When one door closes another door opens, but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”

You may miss the opportunity for growth and only stagnate if you don’t look ahead. Look away from the closed door and move on.

“Don’t make the same mistake I did and try to run when you can’t even walk. When you’re tired, get some rest. When you’re sad, go ahead and cry. It’s okay to take a break. Then one day, there will surely come a day when you’ll be able to run again.”

This quote screams, don’t try too hard and be gentle with your shortcomings. Prioritize your mental health, and don’t avoid your emotions. It isn’t the end of the world, and there is light at the end of the tunnel. Just take it day by day.

“If you can’t erase it, you just need to cover it with something better.”

I’d applaud this line. Nothing you can ever do that will change the past or erase any of your hurts, but you can do everything starting today to create better memories. Let us all do more of that.

“Adults can’t always be right. We make mistakes until the day we die.”

Sometimes your parents will screw you up for a lifetime because they did not know any better. But we can also learn compassion and forgiveness if we understand that they are only human, and it most likely wasn’t their intention to cause harm. Quite often, they’re damaged themselves and repeating patterns of generational trauma. We all make mistakes.

“Don’t forget any of it. Remember it all and overcome it.”

Your experiences make you who you are. Don’t wish for it to be any other way, remember the lessons, and always use it as a benchmark to keep growing and becoming your best self. You can fight your demons.

“At least count to three before you do anything impulsive.”

Stop, breathe, and count to three. Avoid doing or saying anything you might regret. You will see some people have anxiety attacks on the show. Some of the most memorable and endearing scenes were how they handled them, and it is powerful. The female lead said that she got goosebumps during filming because of how real it was.

We will see the Butterfly Hug method carried out in several episodes, a psychotherapy technique initially developed to help those with post-traumatic stress disorder.

The Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing Foundation, outlines the use and proper instructions on how to use this hug to ground yourself.

The “Butterfly Hug” (BH) is a self-administer Bilateral Stimulation method (like the eye movement or tapping) to process traumatic material for an individual or group work. Desensitization (self-soothing) is a reprocessing byproduct using the BH or BLS.

“People stick together because they’re weak. That’s what makes us human. We lean on each other.”

We are social creatures and cannot thrive in solitude. Loneliness can be a silent killer. We can’t do it all alone. Sometimes we have to learn how to be vulnerable enough to dissolve walls of self-preservation, to let people in and depend on others for a change. We need one another.

Much of the drama takes place at a psychiatric hospital. It is here where we are introduced to several forms of mental illnesses, but never negatively. One is not worse than the other. We merely see each person as a broken adult who has ongoing issues carried from the past.

This drama is all about the triumph of love over trauma. There is romance involved, but what hit closest to home for me was the unwavering bond between siblings in the face of tragedy.

While it is entertainment, it paints mental health in both a realistic and positive light. When asked to describe the show, the actors said it is about healing people. When was the last time you saw a show like that? Where you not only root for the characters but yourself, your friends and family.

The takeaways from this beautiful drama are that you are not alone, and there is nothing wrong with you. It’s okay to not be okay. And love is always the right answer. In the end, love is what will transform you.