Unexpected Job Win: A Day to Employment
A personal experience on how sometimes the employment Gods are just with you
In my life, I have been unemployed more than a few times. It sucks, it does! I am from the UK and although we have social security (Job Seekers Allowance) It isn’t close to being enough to live on. How people who are long-term unemployed do it I have no idea! And I do know a few people who haven’t worked for years.
The last time I was unemployed was a strange one. I’d been working in Japan for ten years and decided I wanted to go back home. Enough was enough I’d been a foreigner for so long it was starting to become my only identity. So I gave a month’s notice to my job, told my landlord I wanted my deposit back and before I knew it I was landing in the rain at Heathrow Airport within a couple of months while thinking what the hell am I doing?
I had some money when I went home and decided at first that I was just going to enjoy myself and live off my savings for a while before I’d finally go back to work. (I know! STUPID!). However, I hadn’t been home for close to five years and I decided I needed a break first. So that’s what I did. First, I imposed myself upon my parents as my sister had just moved in with her boyfriend and they had a spare room. They were glad to see me after so long, but this didn’t last all that long.
After that, I just sort of bummed about it went out, drank quite a bit, and started playing live poker again. I also had a few casual dates but nothing too serious. Overall, I enjoyed myself for about four months before I started to run a bit low on the old dosh.
Previously I hadn’t applied for Job Seekers Allowance because I had no intention of trying to find a job at the time they do have interviews, workshops, etc to get you back into work and I just didn’t want the hassle aside from that, I wasn’t sure exactly where I stood as I’d been away for so long and I did have money so I was probably not going to qualify, anyway.
But when my money was down to around six hundred pounds, I decided to look for a job and sign on the dole just in case it took a while. From previous experience, I knew it could be a few weeks to months.
However, things have changed since the last time I had to do this! Not change with the system, but changed with me.
First, I was older at thirty-seven. The last time I had been through this, I was twenty-something. And I was a lot pickier about the jobs I was willing to do. But in my 30s I didn’t care so long as it paid.
So I went for the interview with a lovely but very harried-looking lady a bit older than me. I had to answer a lot of questions about why I was signing on, what my job experience was, what I was looking for, and so on.
When I asked how long before the first payment she said anywhere between two to four weeks. For some reason, I said, “I’ll have a job by then!”
She replied, “That’s what everyone says” In rather a condescending way I might add.
Anyway, we finished the interview I was eligible for support! I could get a government handout because I’d blown pretty much all of my money! (Don’t judge me yet, I haven’t finished) She told me there was a job board downstairs and proudly announced it was all electronic. Go take a look and then come back to fill out even more forms. Apparently, the purpose of the government is to cause deforestation all on its own with the amount of paperwork you have to fill in.
The machines she was talking about are more like those screens you find in MacDonald’s or Burger King than actual computers, but OK fine, it’s better than the printed cards they used to have before.
Now what can I do? Although I had lived in Japan and worked as an ESL teacher for ten years, there weren’t any ESL schools nearby. So what the hell could I do? What skills did I have? To answer that in one word, NONE!
None! There were jobs for welding assistants. I suppose they assist welders, but I have no idea what that would entail.
Line chefs or something like that with experience in a busy kitchen. Yeah, I can cook but I’d be lost.
Careworker: Position working with the elderly and infirm. Full on-the-job training and qualifications provided. Basic starting salary with possibility of promotion.
Now this one did look a little more promising and I have a bit of experience from when I was a student BUT I hated that job, it was horrible. And this is nothing against anyone who is a care assistant. The opposite you have my total respect. To this day it is still the worst job I have ever had.
What else?
Cross Channel Ferry Crew wanted URGENT! Temporary position starting June and ending September. No experience is necessary. Two weeks of paid training. Working hours: 12 Hours a day, 4 working days a week, alternating days and nights. Salary depends on position and experience.
I knew for a fact the salary would be barely above minimum wage but what made it attractive was first it was going to be a job that was going to start in the next week or so, and only four days working weeks in the summer. And it was a temp position. Four months of work, even if the job was awful, I could do it for four months.
My main worry was any job that needed people immediately right that moment in general meant their employee turnover was high. This usually meant one of two things, the job was hard or the company treated their staff badly. And often, as it turns out, both.
What concerned me a bit more than this was the alternating days and nights I’ve done that before (when I was a student I worked a lot of crappy jobs to get by) and it’s a killer to switch from day shift to night shift and back again.
Anyway, I hit apply, put in my number, and details and I noticed the software attached the work experience questionnaire I had filled out earlier during the interview. Before I’d even stepped into the lift (elevator for my American readers) my phone rang.
The HR of the ferry company “When would I be available for an interview? I told him right now, but I am not dressed for one. He said it was fine, so I asked where the office was and arranged for the interview after lunch, which was a couple of hours away.
I hurried back upstairs to the miserable lady and told her that I had to hurry, as I had a job interview in the afternoon. Apparently, everything was done. Maybe she wasn’t the happiest civil servant in the world but at least she was efficient.
I went and grabbed lunch somewhere. I think it was like McDonald’s or something like that and then I headed out to the port.
I had to admit I was a bit nervous. I hadn’t had a job interview in over ten years! Another thing was even though he said it was fine to not be dressed for an interview, I was wearing shorts and a T-shirt! This literally goes against everything I’ve learned about job interviews. Dress for success, put in the effort to show you are willing.
Anyway, I walked into a cold office. Why the hell is the AC set to zero? A slim, dark-haired man with a hooked nose is sitting behind an industrial-style metal desk, and of course, he’s wearing a sodding suit!
“Paul?” He asks in slightly accented English.
“Yes”
“Nice to meet you. I am Leon. As you can tell from the accent, I am French. Please don’t hold it against me”
I think he could tell I was a little nervous, so the joke was well-timed.
“Before we go any further, would you mind taking a drug test? If you don’t want to or have anything you’d like to tell me, we won’t bother with the rest of the interview”
Now, I didn’t have a problem with this, but this is something he could have told me over the phone.
“Sure, no problem. My cold meds won’t show up, will they?” I smiled to show I was joking.
“No”
I guessed at that point the joking part of the interview was over. He handed me a rather small plastic bottle, erm OK, careful aiming it is!
After I did my business, peeing in a small bottle was a bit of a challenge but got it done. I took my sample back to the office. Don’t we always look ridiculous when holding a urine sample? We hold it away from our body, but not too far away to show we are not childish enough to think our pee is disgusting. And we all have the same look of concentration a child might have when you tell them to carry something without dropping it.
Slapping on a pair of rubber gloves, he dipped some paper into my sample and nodded his head.
“OK, that’s fine. Have you worked on a ship before?”
“No”
“Do you get seasick?”
“I don’t know. I’ve only been on a boat a few times”
“You will get seasick”
“Ok”
“I see you worked in Japan for ten years”
“Yes, I was a teacher”
“Can you speak Japanese?”
“My Japanese is pretty good”
“That’s good. Languages are useful. We have passengers from all over the world. Is there anything you’d like to ask me?”
“The salary?”
“It’s eighteen hundred a month, because the company is based outside of the UK. You have to declare and pay your tax”
“OK”
“Do you know how to do this?”
“No, I will Google it”
“If you want the position, the training starts next Wednesday. We meet here at seven AM and we drive you to the training center. You are paid thirty pounds a day for the ten-day training plus three pounds fifty as a lunch bonus”
“What should I wear?”
“For the training? What you are wearing is fine but on some days such as firefighting training or the ocean survival day you will be told what is appropriate”
“That’s great!”
“I will email all of this to you”
And that is how I got a job in a day!
Thanks for reading!
Paul