Undoing Catastrophic Expectations?
As long as life is a form of dread, it cannot be anything but pain.
What Are Catastrophic Expectations?
Catastrophic expectations arise regularly from an orientation of fear. A catastrophic expectation is the belief or expectation that something awful is going to happen. Sometimes a small difficulty arises and you immediately blow it up into the beginning of something terrible.
For example, you may have a persistent pain in your body and begin to imagine that it is cancer. Then you begin to wonder how advanced the cancer is. Now that this fearful thought has taken root, the catastrophic expectation grows; soon you become convinced that no treatment will be helpful now. It may be time to write your will.
When you finally discover that the pain is only a sprained muscle, the news may even come as a letdown. For some, it’s easy to find a distorted pleasure in dwelling upon catastrophe, a falsely heightened sense of being alive, because of all the attention you get or the excitement you feel wrestling with danger.
When catastrophic expectations are activated, even if the event hasn’t actually taken place (and most likely never will), you may have a full-blown panic attack thinking about the possibilities. Unfortunately, this dictates your choices and actions. All kinds of relationships can shut down in your life. The more you hold on to negative expectations, the more you believe in them, the worse the fear becomes. It prevents you from thinking clearly and hinders your ability to find creative solutions, in the event that the catastrophe you’re expecting (or something like it) actually takes place.
What’s Actually Going On?
When a catastrophic expectation arises — when you catch yourself worrying about something that could happen or building up something that has happened — stop and get a piece of paper. Draw a vertical line in the middle. On the top of one column write, what is actually happening. On the top of the other column write, what could happen.
In the column that lists what is actually happening, be very careful to write down specific facts. For example, “I have a pain in my shoulder. I’ve had it for one day.” In the other column, make a list of all that could happen, including positive outcomes: For example, “I could have a serious obstruction, or it could be a slight sprain and clear up immediately.”
As you actually, consciously dream up different expectations, it will become clear to you that these expectations are merely your fantasies, not the truth. Each time you write down another expectation, go back and check the facts.
Ask yourself: What is actually happening right now? Can I focus upon what’s actually happening and not what I’m imagining? When you want to dwell on what could happen, choose to dwell on positive possibilities. Realize that the choice is yours. Write a few more positive possible expectations now, and dwell on those.
In This Moment You Are Safe
Most of all, realize that it is not the actual event that is causing most of the fear you are feeling, but the expectations and fantasies you are dreaming up about it. In this very moment, you can handle whatever is going on. This very moment you are safe, this very moment holds endless possibilities, and this very moment can be filled with joy.
Suffering from a migraine, Neil Young’s vision went blurry and he thought both would pass. But when symptoms persisted the next day, the rock star suspected something more. He was shaving and saw something in his eye that looked like a piece of broken glass. It kept getting bigger and bigger and he knew he had to see the doctor right away. After consulting five specialists, by the next morning the verdict was in: Young had had a brain aneurysm, one that required prompt attention. This was Thursday; surgery was scheduled for Monday.
Some individuals might have holed up in self-pity. Young chose to go to Nashville that very night to work on his album. The words and music came fast, some songs in less than fifteen minutes. In this state of hypersensitivity and facing his own mortality, everything he saw inspired him. A phone message from a friend prompted the song “Falling Off the Face of the Earth.” By the time he flew back to New York for surgery on March 28, 2005, Young had penned and recorded eight numbers in just four days.
The result of this whirlwind of activity in the face of a life-threatening situation was the album Prairie Wind (2005). The songs of reminiscence and mortality struck a nerve, generating positive reviews all over the landscape, not to mention sales; it debuted at №1. Young’s health? He made a full recovery after the procedure.
— From Extraordinary Comebacks, John A. Sarkett
Young put forth a vibration of courage and strength that aided and uplifted him, as opposed to choosing the vibration of fear, which might have destroyed him.
The Vibration of Fear
Fear has a vibration that attracts certain people, events, and situations to it. When you are afraid of dogs, a dog will sense it, bark, and attack. When you feel loving toward the animal, the dog will sense it as well and respond in kind. There is a visceral awareness of the vibration a person emits. Masters in the martial arts, feeling extremely secure in their ability to defend themselves, can walk down the street in a dangerous neighborhood, and their vibrations of strength and courage deter would-be attackers. Intuitively, unconsciously, viscerally, others sense their strength. There are also stories of famous Hindu Rishis (masters) who could send out such a total and unambivalent vibration of love that wild animals would come to them and lick their hands.
Abundant Solutions Are Waiting For Us
Our nation and the nations of the world are living in fear of terrorists, failing economies, and threats of attack. The more fear is permitted to run haywire, the worse these conditions become. As soon as we stop, take back our power, begin to dismantle the fear, we will be able to get in touch with our innate peace of mind, resourcefulness, and endless solutions that are waiting to be found. There are simple solutions waiting for us, surprising solutions, ways of turning enemies into friends. However, we cannot find these solutions when our lives are based on fear. It is of the utmost importance that we realize the urgency of the situation and firmly resolve to let go of fear and live our lives on a new basis. It is not hard to do either, just takes willingness.
A New Vibration: The Practice of Love
The truth is that love is so much stronger than fear. Even a little drop of love can dissolve and heal so much fear and pain. Our hearts are filled with this love; we could not survive without it. And yet we are so stingy; we refuse to open our hearts and give. This stinginess, this constriction, is the effect of fear operating in our lives. Therefore, as we learn to dissolve fear, we simultaneously come into the healing presence of love. The practice of dissolving fear is also the practice of love. And learning the practice of love simultaneously dissolves the fear that we feel. Both of these are the most practical, urgent, and enjoyable activities it is possible to undertake.
Stop: Think of a time when, unexpectedly, love burst through in your life. This could be love of a child, an animal, a sunset, a moment of seeing the beauty around you. It could be a time when you received a surprising kindness, overlooked an insult, or suddenly decided to extend yourself to another person. It could be a moment when you forgot your own self-interest and reached for something larger. Dwell upon this. Then dwell upon it some more.
Moments of love are happening continuously, but you do not stop and notice them. You do not take account of them. Take them in. Relish their effects on you. We are so preoccupied by fear that these moments of love might even seem unimportant. They are not. They take place regularly and deserve our attention.
Whatever We Pay Attention To, Increases
What do you want to pay attention to — love or fear? What do you want more of in your life? This is an important question. You always can choose where to focus your attention. Pay attention to a moment of love, and then pay attention to another. Take note of the effect it has on you. Take note of the effect it has on others as well.
Brenda Shoshanna, Ph.D. is an author, psychologist, speaker, and long term Zen practitioner. Her work integrates the teachings of East and West and focuses upon ways of making the teachings real in our everyday life. This article is from her book, Fearless, (Seven Principles of Peace of Mind). She offers a weekly podcast, Zen Wisdom for Your Everyday Life. Her new blog is TURN THE PAGE, at turnthepage.live
The Takeaway by Lewis Harrison “Ask Lewis”
I love reading, and sharing what great teachers create. Great wisdom bypasses my left-brain-intellect and connects that part of me that seeks meaning, love, kindness, empathy, and clarity.
I have many friends and associates, who are respected teachers. They usually share their creations with their own fans and followers. I want those who know and appreciate my work to expand their horizons and explore and share the ideas of important teachers like Dr. Shoshana. Here, I have gotten permission from her to repost their important writings.
I have known Brenda almost three decades. She is a powerful Zen teacher, with deep appreciation of, and understanding of Talmudic wisdom.
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