Understanding The Narcissistic Break-Up Pattern
It is easily one of the most frustrating parts of dating a narcissist, and it is the “break-up to make up” NONSENSE that they continuously play throughout the relationship.
The push-pull, somewhat Borderline Personality Disorder, tactic that they play with us can make us doubt whether they care about us or are we misreading things.
To these people, drama is everything, and nothing makes their life more dramatic and more fulfilling than breaking up just to make up.
These people FEED ON DRAMA!
In their deluded, deranged minds, they believe themselves reenacting Hollywood BS love stories, and nothing gets them off more than repeating this vicious narcissistic breakup pattern.
In this article, I want to explain what the narcissistic breakup pattern is and how you can avoid and get out of these relationships.
Because in all honesty, these relationships are NOT worth a penny.
Why settle for a nutjob when there are plenty of great people out there who want a committed and healthy relationship and do so just as much as you want one.
They are not the only fish in this sea called life, and you have to learn how to stop hunting after these faux Moby Dicks and start trying to catch something much more valuable.
Understanding The Narcissistic Break-Up Pattern
Once you understand the narcissistic breakup pattern and know what it is that you need to look out for, you can stop these relationships from even starting.
These people all have a pattern that they follow, and once you can spot the signs, you can protect yourself from these “headaches.”
The Narcissists Return Cycle & The Narcissistic Break-Up Pattern
Step 1: Start An Argument For Whatever Lunacy That Enters Their Mind
They will start an argument for the simplest and, in most cases, the NON-EXISTENT reason that enters her mind.
They will claim you are cheating on them, or that you don’t love them enough, or that you never take them out.
Or they will just make things up.
This is all a part of their narcissistic breakup pattern.
What they are doing is trying to condition us to believe in their lies and machination. It is a form of gaslighting.
You will be caught off guard, and this is common. I cannot tell you how many times I would get caught off guard by their accusations.
(This was back before I had known about the narcissistic breakup pattern, back when I was a naive empath.)
I could just be sitting down watching TV and out of nowhere, just sheer insanity.
Know that their accusation is nothing more than projection, things they are doing or scared you will do to them.
Step 2: Guilt Loving (You Never Loved Me)
They will claim you never loved them and will say they want to separate or get a divorce. This is all a part of the narcissistic break-up pattern game.
This is a psychological tactic that I call “Guilt Loving.”
They try and get us into loving them for their insanity.
If they think that they can make us question if we love them enough, we will keep on showering them with love, presents, and adulation for being the less than mediocre people that they are.
Guilt-loving is a tactic to make others fight for your love by making that person think they do not love enough. This will guilt a person into working to try and PROVE to the person that they do love them.
For example, when a girl comes up to you and says, “I know you’d never like me” or “You never liked me.”
These are psychological tactics used to make us question if we did something to make them think we hate them.
And if we did, we can reconcile that by trying to SHOW THEM we like them or care about them.
It is a sneaky tactic that many of these narcissists use to get people to think about their worthless lives, as well as a means to get us to fall back into their narcissistic breakup pattern games.
Step 3: The Lies Of Feeling Threatened By You
They may call the cops and say they feel threatened by you/us.
If they do this, and God, they will do these things, wait outside with your hands in the air to show you are not aggressive.
But before you do that, make sure you are recording them on your phone while calling the cops.
These people know that they have the whole victim status image, and they will use that to their advantage.
Prepare yourself.
Step 4: The Whole Dramatic Separation
Assuming the cop’s fiasco stuff doesn’t happen, and they tell you to leave, make sure you get all the necessities you need.
Leave all the stuff that you don’t need behind. You do not want to hint that you are using this discard to just up and leave her and leave them because of their own wishes.
Step 5: The Hoovering
After about a few days or maybe a week, they cannot go too long without drama in their lives; they will call you and send you messages of how much of an idiot they have been (REALLY) and claim that they need you in their lives.
If you are not aware of what a narcissist is, most likely you will end up back with them because you think they need someone to love them.
If you go back, then rinse and repeat this process and get used to it because they WILL NEVER STOP DOING THIS.
Much like an addict keeps on using drugs because they are addicted to it, so to will, these drama addicts keep stringing us along with their BS.
Breaking Up With A Narcissist
If you are tired of the whole breaking up with a narcissist just to make up with them in the same week, then the best thing to do is just to go NO CONTACT.
Do not keep on playing these narcissist's break-up games because it only shows them and makes them think that it is okay to WASTE YOUR TIME.
Your time and life are not for you to live it the way you want but for how they deem fit.
And in their insane, irrational, and kidult mind, the way you should spend your time with them is by playing these silly narcissist's break-up games.
Why?
Because it’s so romantic, just like in the movies.
Only You Can End The Narcissistic Break-Up Pattern
Only you have the power to end the narcissistic breakup pattern. They will NOT do this because as long as you are begging them, pleading with them, and continuing to come back to them when they discard you, you only fuel their insanity.
The way in how narcissists treat their spouses needs to be a crime. The psychological toll that they do to their spouses is just as damaging as any physical attack.
And the only thing that is worst is that for many of us out there who are with these nutjobs, the scars do not show because they are mental and psychological.
These people can cause a myriad of mental illnesses in their partners.
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