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not going under the knife, not being invaded by steel and a mini-camera, capturing what was mine for 65-plus, abolishing and eradicating a part of me I’d like to keep but might not miss.</p><p id="1a10">Another goal crumbled and thrown away, life’s a compilation of switches and swaps, a work-in-progress that isn’t always progressive, changes that aren’t choices, adjustments and rearrangements, losing what was good and is no longer, accepting that going under the knife isn’t a goal lost but an opportunity gained to feel better than I should at 65-plus</p><p id="cbd6">© <a href="https://dennettrm.medium.com/">Dennett</a> 2021</p><p id="eb70">Until this past spring, my health was surprisingly good. Other than back problems from a childhood horseback riding accident, I was in good shape. Never been hospitalized. Never had surgery.</p><p id="9f9b">Then, I got food poisoning that wouldn’t get better. Four weeks of non-stop sick led to five days in the hospital and a diagnosis of colitis, probably caused by the food poisoning.</p><p id="b2a6">But, other problems kept popping up. I have gallstones, likely caused by the rapid weight loss of 30 lbs in a month. Now, I’m scheduled for surgery a week from today.</p><p id="f29b">Gallbladder removal is considered a routine day-stay surgery. That do

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esn’t pacify my worries. I am nervous but more stressed about the after-surgery than the surgery. There are possible after-effects that give me concerns because I am considered a “good” candidate for those problems.</p><p id="ec17">I leave in a few minutes for pre-surgery registration at the hospital. Ironically, the surgery should be no longer than 45 minutes, but pre-registration is two hours! Even this makes me uneasy.</p><p id="4a0d">I am hoping the rest of November will bring me relief and comfort, and that I will eventually be very grateful that I went under the knife.</p><p id="c59a">In response to this newsletter prompt from <a href="undefined">Ellie Jacobson</a>:</p><div id="0fdd" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/sparks-11-finding-comfort-in-november-42a1d8748c1"> <div> <div> <h2>Sparks №11-Finding Comfort in November</h2> <div><h3>A weekly writing prompt newsletter from Flint & Steel</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*pjP7o26ZNi6v67WUAgXNdQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Under the Knife

a poem of stress, dread, and acceptance

Photo by Greg Rosenke on Unsplash

So many goals deleted like spam, never reached or never started, a life of failures or one of adjustments, shifting gears on shifting sands, detours and roundabouts, back-tracking and full speed ahead, rarely reaching a finish line.

Lucky to be healthy for 65-plus, can’t take credit, maybe it's the genes, but luck is trickling away like sand in an hourglass; a goal to die old without ever going under the knife, without ever being sliced opened and sewed shut, stapled, or glued.

Gallbladder had different ideas — Who said organs can make decisions? Now I stress over another goal gone, over anesthesia and punctures and what comes next — over losing something that was there for a reason and soon won’t be.

Stressed over recovery and work and all that won’t get done, but most of all, that goal of not going under the knife, not being invaded by steel and a mini-camera, capturing what was mine for 65-plus, abolishing and eradicating a part of me I’d like to keep but might not miss.

Another goal crumbled and thrown away, life’s a compilation of switches and swaps, a work-in-progress that isn’t always progressive, changes that aren’t choices, adjustments and rearrangements, losing what was good and is no longer, accepting that going under the knife isn’t a goal lost but an opportunity gained to feel better than I should at 65-plus

© Dennett 2021

Until this past spring, my health was surprisingly good. Other than back problems from a childhood horseback riding accident, I was in good shape. Never been hospitalized. Never had surgery.

Then, I got food poisoning that wouldn’t get better. Four weeks of non-stop sick led to five days in the hospital and a diagnosis of colitis, probably caused by the food poisoning.

But, other problems kept popping up. I have gallstones, likely caused by the rapid weight loss of 30 lbs in a month. Now, I’m scheduled for surgery a week from today.

Gallbladder removal is considered a routine day-stay surgery. That doesn’t pacify my worries. I am nervous but more stressed about the after-surgery than the surgery. There are possible after-effects that give me concerns because I am considered a “good” candidate for those problems.

I leave in a few minutes for pre-surgery registration at the hospital. Ironically, the surgery should be no longer than 45 minutes, but pre-registration is two hours! Even this makes me uneasy.

I am hoping the rest of November will bring me relief and comfort, and that I will eventually be very grateful that I went under the knife.

In response to this newsletter prompt from Ellie Jacobson:

Poetry
Flint And Steel
Writing Prompt Response
Surgery
Stress
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