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Abstract

d="b443">When does self-sabotage occur?</h2><p id="b40e">Self-sabotage is essentially the conflict between the conscious mind and the unconscious mind. Practically, self-sabotage occurs when control is taken over by the unconscious mind.</p><p id="636c">You might wonder who will win this battle. Can willpower defeat the unconscious mind?</p><p id="49b4">When I got to this point, it was clear to me that I couldn’t win this confrontation. After all, the unconscious mind is also about the survival instinct, and it’s what keeps me alive.</p><h2 id="6028">What favors self-sabotage?</h2><p id="7717">The unconscious mind is formed in childhood. It’s more about the story in your mind. For it, often, any change is a threat to life. I emphasize: that it doesn’t matter if it’s a positive or neutral change. Change equals a threat to life for it. Its role is to take control when it feels in danger of dying.</p><p id="5e88">Are you going to get a job for the first time or after a long period? It’s a change in status. The mind will interpret it as a threat to life! And it has many ways of doing that! Either it will make you late, or you’ll look ridiculous because your clothes will be muddy, or you’ll choose completely inappropriate clothes for the occasion… or you’ll have two left hands when you have to tie your tie.</p><p id="838e">How did I proceed to reduce self-sabotage?</p><p id="4060">First of all, self-sabotage puts you in the victim role, as described by Karpman.</p><p id="9926">YES, it’s about Karpman’s triangle or the so-called drama triangle: savior — aggressor — victim. My solution was to constantly evaluate whether I

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was in the victim state or not.</p><p id="6913">That was the first solution.</p><div id="842f" class="link-block"> <a href="https://philipachristensen.medium.com/stories-and-personal-transformations-how-i-learned-to-break-free-from-self-sabotage-7daf5ce7d313"> <div> <div> <h2>Stories and Personal Transformations: How I Learned to Break Free from Self-Sabotage</h2> <div><h3>Like you, as a child, I was fascinated by stories. When I was in school, after learning how to read, I was captivated…</h3></div> <div><p>philipachristensen.medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*Eso6nyr-Aeula5NikvbxTQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><p id="f2b7">The next solution started from a reality!</p><p id="ee2b">Then I found out that there is another triangle, not just the toxic triangle. There is a triangle of love — of gratitude and appreciation.</p><p id="cc12">Starting the day with gratitude became my method of riding self-sabotage. It is also a very good spiritual practice: to think with gratitude about what you have in your life!</p><p id="34ef">If at first, I evaluated every 2 hours whether I was in a victim state or not, now it is much more fun to realize every 2 hours the reasons for gratitude for my life!</p><p id="9612">I am curious if this practice works for you! It doesn’t have to work for everyone. The important thing is to get out of the drama triangle!</p></article></body>

Why Do We Engage in Self-Sabotage and How to Overcome It

Why do we engage in Self-Sabotage? and how to overcome it? Do you know those moments when you’re in a hurry because a delay could bring you various problems? When self-sabotage comes into play, you’ll be late. Or when you’re preparing to close the deal of your life, and your partner informs you that they want to separate?

That’s when self-sabotage enters the stage.

In general, success means not doing the things that don’t bring you success. If gaining weight means an excess of calories, success for a great physique means consuming fewer calories.

Having money often involves having a mindset that allows you to keep it. Having time means using what’s available more effectively. Similarly, having success means reducing the occasions when self-sabotage occurs.

What is self-sabotage?

Self-sabotage is about those behaviors or thought patterns that simply hold you back. Sometimes you find yourself in those patterns that create problems and prevent you from reaching your goals, and despite trying to make changes and break those patterns, something happens, and you end up back in the same place. If this sounds familiar, it might be self-sabotage.

When does self-sabotage occur?

Self-sabotage is essentially the conflict between the conscious mind and the unconscious mind. Practically, self-sabotage occurs when control is taken over by the unconscious mind.

You might wonder who will win this battle. Can willpower defeat the unconscious mind?

When I got to this point, it was clear to me that I couldn’t win this confrontation. After all, the unconscious mind is also about the survival instinct, and it’s what keeps me alive.

What favors self-sabotage?

The unconscious mind is formed in childhood. It’s more about the story in your mind. For it, often, any change is a threat to life. I emphasize: that it doesn’t matter if it’s a positive or neutral change. Change equals a threat to life for it. Its role is to take control when it feels in danger of dying.

Are you going to get a job for the first time or after a long period? It’s a change in status. The mind will interpret it as a threat to life! And it has many ways of doing that! Either it will make you late, or you’ll look ridiculous because your clothes will be muddy, or you’ll choose completely inappropriate clothes for the occasion… or you’ll have two left hands when you have to tie your tie.

How did I proceed to reduce self-sabotage?

First of all, self-sabotage puts you in the victim role, as described by Karpman.

YES, it’s about Karpman’s triangle or the so-called drama triangle: savior — aggressor — victim. My solution was to constantly evaluate whether I was in the victim state or not.

That was the first solution.

Stories and Personal Transformations: How I Learned to Break Free from Self-Sabotage

Like you, as a child, I was fascinated by stories. When I was in school, after learning how to read, I was captivated…

philipachristensen.medium.com

The next solution started from a reality!

Then I found out that there is another triangle, not just the toxic triangle. There is a triangle of love — of gratitude and appreciation.

Starting the day with gratitude became my method of riding self-sabotage. It is also a very good spiritual practice: to think with gratitude about what you have in your life!

If at first, I evaluated every 2 hours whether I was in a victim state or not, now it is much more fun to realize every 2 hours the reasons for gratitude for my life!

I am curious if this practice works for you! It doesn’t have to work for everyone. The important thing is to get out of the drama triangle!