Summary

The article argues that women must be selective in dating due to higher risks of violence, potential for abuse, and the serious implications of having children, emphasizing the importance of self-improvement for men who wish to meet these standards.

Abstract

The author of the article expresses frustration with men who complain about women's high standards in dating. The piece underscores the necessity for women to be discriminating, given the stark realities of sexual assault and domestic violence statistics, which disproportionately affect women. It also points out that women often face societal stigma and barriers to justice when reporting such crimes. The article suggests that women's caution is justified, as many men hide abusive tendencies until it's too late, and that societal expectations around having children further necessitate a careful selection of partners. The author contends that men must focus on self-improvement rather than blaming women for their dating challenges, acknowledging that women have much to lose and little to gain by settling for less than they deserve.

Opinions

The author believes that men who complain about women's high standards are resentful and fail to recognize the importance of measuring up to those standards.
High standards are crucial for women's safety, as they face a higher risk of rape, sexual assault, and murder by intimate partners compared to men.
Women are often not taken seriously by law enforcement when they report assaults, which adds to the necessity of being selective about their partners.
The author warns that many men conceal their abusive behavior, and women must be vigilant to avoid such relationships, suggesting that even seemingly harmless individuals, like anime nerds or programmers, can be abusive.
The article emphasizes that the responsibility of having children rests heavily on women, who must ensure their partner's reliability and financial stability, as they often bear the brunt of child-rearing.
It is pointed out that men often underestimate the value they bring to a relationship and need to improve themselves and their attitudes to be considered viable partners by women who are self-sufficient and seek genuine companionship.

Ugly Truth: Women Need To Be More Discriminatory Than Men

If you can’t measure up to standards, complaining about the fact that women are too picky isn’t going to do shit

Photo by Jonathan J. Castellon on Unsplash

Go on any of my relationship articles, and you’ll see complaints of men about how women “don’t go for good guys” and how “women’s standards are too high.” It’s a major pet peeve of mine, because it shows how resentful men are of not being able to measure up.

At this point, it’s clear that it hurts men right in the masculinity to hear that they don’t measure up. It’s a matter of entitlement and laziness. If they wanted to improve themselves and avoid online dating, they would. But, there’s a deeper issue at play that I don’t think most men want to admit.

Truth be told, women often do drop their standards. Unfortunately, this often proves to be a terrible mistake. The fact is, women absolutely have to have high standards in a partner — more so than men do. Here’s why.

First off, let’s start with the obvious.

Statistically, women are far more likely to be raped or sexually assaulted by their dates than men are. This is not something we can ignore. Moreover, the vast majority of female murder victims were killed by a significant other.

When women report rapes, they are often humiliated and ignored by law enforcement. It’s true. And there’s a lot of stigma. In other words, rapists and wife beaters are very likely to get away with what they do.

Hell, when women say they were raped, they’re often asked, “Well, did you lead him on?”

See what I’m saying? No? What I’m saying is that men don’t shoulder the same level of risk that women do. Yes, most men aren’t rapists. Yes, a fair percentage of them are not abusers. However, it only takes one bad date to put you in a coffin.

A large percentage of women have been sexually assaulted or harassed at one point. Some, like me, dealt with worse. Women are aware of the danger men can pose. It’s vital to them to make sure that they are safe around guys — and the men shaming them for having standards are proof that vetting works.

Too many men are able to hide their abusive behavior until it’s too late.

I’ve heard and witnessed a lot of men who are proud of using women for sex, money, and status. It’s quite terrifying. What’s even more terrifying is that there are entire forums (like Red Pill) that basically teach and encourage men to be abusive and deceptive to women.

If men don’t think that women are wise to that, they’re playing themselves. Heck, even a quick tour of Reddit commenters is enough to make a typical woman realize that a scary level of men make a game out of hurting women and that even more hate them.

Women get blamed for being with “bad boys,” but it’s not that easy. Many abusers don’t drop their masks for years, often until they feel the woman is “locked down.”

Oh, and personally? The most abusive men I’ve been with were anime nerds, computer geeks, and programmers. (I’d love to hear how they were stereotypical bad boys, for the record.)

Once again, being discriminatory works here. Men who feel like they are beneath their dates tend to become abusive and mean to them. As a result, more women feel safer “dating up” because they know they won’t trigger their partner’s fragile masculinity.

Let’s not forget the matter of kids.

I’ll be honest. I have absolutely no idea why any woman would want to have kids in a society as toxic as ours. But, to each her own. Kids are expensive and even giving birth can be a major threat to a woman’s health.

If a woman gets pregnant from a one-night-stand, chances are she’s SOL in most cases. She’s going to have to get an abortion or be a single mom. Even if she’s with a man who claims he wants kids, there's no guarantee he’ll stay after the kid is born.

It’s no wonder why we all hear moms say they don’t regret their kids, but regret the men they had them with. If you want to have kids, you have to vet your partner hard. Unfortunately, men with a low income or a shit attitude are not going to make that cut.

Women have a lot more to lose than they have to gain in dating.

I genuinely don’t think most men realize how little they really offer women when it comes to dating. They can make their own money, own their own homes, and also can establish their own families and friendships.

Do women still want men? Absolutely. Most women want to have a husband at home. It’s nice! But, they’re not going to tolerate guys who tear them down. If a woman thinks she’ll end up having more chores and less companionship by dating you, she’s not going to stick around.

Don’t like it? Improve yourself and your attitude. It’s all you can do.