Two Years Retired: An Honest and Thoughtful Reflection

Demystifying big dreams and little fears. Insights into expenses, travel, activities, and what life after work is really like.

I stared out the window on the morning of my first retirement day, sipped a cup of coffee, and wondered what the future would bring.

Like other retirees, I had big dreams and little fears, and no matter how much I planned — and I did plan a lot — retirement was still a giant amorphous blob of mystery.

Most of us consider retirement as the liminal moment that represents a bright line between our allegiance to others and our allegiance to ourselves. That day, for the very first time, I stood on my side of that line and admired the newfound freedom that looked back at me and asked:

“What do you wanna do today?”

A million things came to mind — too many to contemplate — so I took a walk, read a book, napped, and made dinner. There would be plenty of time to sift through it later.

For two years now I’ve fine-tuned my retirement skills and enjoyed the ride, the excitement, and the freedom. I’ve questioned myself and others, and now I’m in a position to answer your (unasked) questions about retirement life.

“Do you miss working?”

Not in the least. Never once in two years did I yearn for my old job, or any job for that matter. From time to time, I enjoy evaluating (aka judging) other workers and telling myself “I could do better than you if only I…,” but then I remember how nice freedom is.

Let me be clear that I still “work” in some sense of the word. I just don’t work because of a need for money.

I have hobbies that keep me engaged and earn a small income. I write stories on Medium and I’m partway through a novel that some say has great potential (time will tell). I’m a handyman of sorts and have done quite a few home improvements for myself and our friends. “A penny saved…,” they say.

When I first retired, I was a compulsive time-filler. Every moment of every day I filled with some sort of activity. I kept a to-do list and checked off entries when completed (I still do that, but less of it now). I’m still impassioned after two years, but the urgency has softened and I’m happier because of it.

One thing I do miss: Collaborating and strategizing with my work friends. Sure, I stay in touch with a few of them but “Hey, how‘s it going” is nowhere near as engaging as “Hey, how do we solve this problem?” Sadly they seem to be able to solve work problems without me now. Imagine that.

Advice: I can’t imagine being bored, but many people are, and you could be if you’re not prepared. Before you retire, consider what you’ll do — and practice (I know that sounds odd), but: Visualize what you would be doing ‘right now’ if you were retired. Do that daily and it will help you ‘feel’ what it’s like for you to be retired. I did, and it works!

“What are your expenses like?”

I read somewhere that I should expect expenses to drop by 20% or so in retirement. That didn’t happen.

Separately I read that retirement expenses are highest in the first few years and then they go down. I’m hoping that’s the case and they’ll be dropping soon.

I’ve tracked expenses carefully for ten years and sadly they’re about the same in retirement as when I was working.

Fixed costs (Mortgage and utilities) are still the same. I don’t have any debt other than a mortgage so that’s good, but I didn’t have much debt prior to retirement either.

Medical expenses went up, but I just joined Medicare and I expect them to drop significantly.

Travel, entertainment, and hobby costs went up too. With all my free time, and an inability to sit still, I end up bouncing around like a pinball, going here and there, visiting everybody, building this and that, and spending a bit more on hobbies than expected. At least I’m having fun.

Transportation, clothing, and kid expenses dropped significantly. The kids are grown and successful and don’t need my financial help anymore. Most days I can dress like a slob (a clean slob with fewer new clothes). My commute is a few steps down the stairs to my office and that uses inexpensive renewable energy: coffee.

Food went up, but dining out went down — a logical tradeoff I suppose.

Advice: Budget your retirement expenses to remain the same (for a few years at least), and keep a large buffer of investments just in case you or your spouse go a little too far with hobbies and interests.

“What does a typical day look like?”

The first year or so, ‘typical’ wasn’t a way to define my days. I gobbled up every event and activity I could think of — biking, kayaking, home renovations, visiting, traveling, exploring, socializing, boating, cooking, writing … the list goes on.

Like a kid in a candy store, I did everything I could think of and everything anyone suggested. At night I fell asleep exhausted from a too-full day.

In time, I eased up a bit.

Two years into it now, I’ve discovered there are only so many sights to see, bedrooms to paint, and sauces to learn. I found that writing consumed me — I now spend 3–5 hours a day writing.

With that said, I’m still filling every day to the brim.

• Mornings: Writing, reading, researching.
• Afternoon 1: Hiking, exercising, or other physical activities.
• Afternoon 2: Woodworking or home improvements.
• Evenings: Socializing, enjoying dinner (and wine), reading & writing, games, or sometimes a movie or TV show.
• Periodic: Visits to parents, kids, and friends. Concerts, plays, volunteering. I travel a lot too.
• Weekends: Much the same — days aren’t much different from each other — but add chores like cleaning and shopping.

Advice: Charge into your days with as much exuberance as you can muster. Milk every day for everything you can and be thankful for every one of them (even when it rains). My strategy is to assume I’ll die at age 85 and my goal is to do everything I can by then. After that: Bonus!

“What surprised you the most?”

Medical costs are outrageous. My wife and I retired early (before age 65) and had to use COBRA and ACA (Obamacare) insurance. We spent over $1500 a month between us. Medicare is less than half that and it seems to work quite well.

Retirement is far more calm and relaxing than expected. Work was fun but always had an undercurrent of aggravation and stress. Now that I’m “working” for myself, I can drop what I’m doing and do something else anytime I want, and never worry about repercussions or schedule impacts.

Advice: Expect overwhelming feelings of release and relief. Plan lightly for the first few months to let it all flow out of your system.

Volunteering is a hoot. The idea of standing around and strategizing with strange new people bothered me greatly, but when I did I found that most people are quite nice to chat with (yeah, some are strange, but that’s life). I’ve made friends with whom I socialize, and the volunteer work I do is as personally rewarding as it is helpful to others.

“What is the best part of being retired?”

Retirement is the great equalizer. I hobnob with the rich and not-so-rich, the active and less-active. I socialize with ex-executives, laborers, and the secret undeclared. There’s no pressure to keep up with anyone (financially or physically), only to enjoy company and conversation. Job titles make no difference now. This type of equality is empowering and confidence-boosting

I’m busy, but never too busy to set down my pencil or hammer and go have fun doing something (anything) that suddenly pops up. I don’t have to follow a specific schedule or plan around a work day.

I’m rarely unhappy.

“Liberation” is the word that best describes my retirement.

“What’s the worst part?”

Aging is generally unpleasant, but that’s not retirement’s fault. Nor is it a reason not to retire. It’s the natural course of life. Parts wear out and cost too much to replace. I can’t do all the things I used to, and there’s little likelihood that I’ll improve at anything noteworthy (I’m still holding out hope that I can learn new tricks like writing and languages).

The ups and downs have attenuated. Work and life at a younger age were explosively exciting and depressingly frustrating. Now life holds a good steady course. I miss the extremes.

I also miss losing close connection with the younger crowd — they can be so motivating with their puzzles, problems, and frenetic lives. They challenge me to be better. Grandkids, kids, and all their friends are great but I live a couple of hours away so get-togethers are less frequent than I’d like.

Finally: I realize the end is coming and it doesn’t look like it will be much fun. I never worried about that before.

“What final words of wisdom can you share?”

• Don’t make any long-term commitments in the first year. That’s the time to explore retirement with total freedom.
• Don’t retire in the middle of a pandemic.
• Keep moving and challenging yourself — Two simple steps to strong physical and mental health.
• Keep up with technology. I see too many elderly folks who are unable to navigate a phone, computer, or TV for entertainment, socializing, banking, and more. The same will happen to you if you don’t regularly read about and interact with technology as you age. [artificial intelligence, virtual reality, video, smart TVs, phone apps, social media, personal assistants, online games, streaming services, etc.]
• Go deep in at least one interest. It’s okay to drop one for another anytime you like, but take one or two and dive in as deep as you can.
• Volunteer. It’s a hoot.
• Cherish and nurture your friendships, make new friends, and reconnect with old ones (you can use technology to do that — I’ve reconnected with half a dozen old friends and I (and they) are immensely grateful.

Retirement is: “Not having the need to work for money. Plus, the freedom to start and stop doing anything with no consequences.”

Thanks for reading. Connect with me here on Medium and on my blog: brianfeutz.com. You can reach me at [email protected].