Two Words You Should Eliminate From Your Vocabulary in 2024

I’m not a big believer in New Year's resolutions. I don’t like the pressure they put on me and the guilt they bring on when I think of all of them I’ve failed to follow through on over the years.

But 2024 is going to be different for me. I’m going to make a very simple resolution that will take some getting used to but should be doable for the next 12 months. In fact, I think it will be so beneficial that it will become a permanent habit for me long before the year is over.

The idea for this resolution came from my wife. She’s very hard on herself, and she recently identified two words that she says are making her depressed and feel inadequate. Along with her, I’m going to resolve not to say them in 2024. Those two words are “I should.”

I’ve thought a lot about this, and keeping this resolution won’t be easy. But I’ve come up with some good reasons to hang tough. Here are five:

1. “I Should” Implies Obligation, Not Motivation

The phrase “I should” often carries a sense of obligation or duty rather than genuine desire or motivation. It implies that the action is not something you want to do, but something you feel compelled to do, possibly due to external pressures. This framing can create a negative mindset, making tasks feel like burdens rather than choices.

Switching to language that reflects personal choice and desire can be more empowering. For instance, saying “I want to” or “I choose to” places the power back in your hands, making activities feel more like personal decisions rather than impositions.

2. It Reduces Procrastination and Encourages Action

“I should” is often a precursor to procrastination. It’s a way of acknowledging a task without committing to it. This non-committal language can lead to a cycle of delay and guilt.

By contrast, using more definitive language like “I will” sets a clear intention and timeline, prompting action. In 2024, when efficiency and productivity are more important than ever, adopting a language of action can help us move from contemplation to execution more swiftly.

3. It Enhances Personal Accountability

When you say “I should,” it’s easy to follow it with an excuse. It becomes a way of acknowledging an ideal action without taking responsibility for not doing it.

On the other hand, saying “I will” or “I am going to” increases personal accountability. It’s a commitment that you’re more likely to follow through on. In an era where personal and professional accountability is increasingly valued, changing our language can reinforce this important trait.

4. Improves Mental Health and Well-being

The phrase “I should” can often lead to feelings of guilt and inadequacy, especially when the tasks or changes we’re referring to are not completed. This can have a negative impact on mental health.

In contrast, using language that reflects choice and preference can lead to a more positive mindset. It acknowledges autonomy and control, which are crucial for mental well-being. As we continue to prioritize mental health in 2024, adjusting our language to be more self-compassionate and empowering can have significant benefits.

5. Aligns With Goal-Setting and Personal Growth

Finally, moving away from “I should” can align better with effective goal-setting and personal growth strategies. Goal-setting theories suggest that for goals to be motivating, they need to be self-chosen and aligned with personal values.

When we say “I should,” it often reflects societal expectations or perceived obligations, not personal desires or values. Switching to “I want to” helps ensure that our goals and actions are more aligned with our personal aspirations and values, which is crucial for sustained motivation and growth.

Years ago, I pulled up to the valet parking area in front of a well-known, prestigious hotel chain. When a valet approached the car, I asked him if he would dispose of a small bag of trash I had, and he responded, “I want to.”

Later in our stay, while lying on a raft in the swimming pool, a server waded into the water, and I asked her if she could bring me a beverage. Her response: “I want to.”

That hotel where the staff uses those particular words is The Ritz Carlton, and I’ve stayed with them as often as I can because of the courteous service I received during that stay. The words “I want to” have stuck with me ever since, and I try to use them whenever I can.

If you’d like to eliminate “I should” from your vocabulary in 2024, consider replacing them with “ I choose to,” “I will,” I’m going to,” or “I want to.” You’ll lower your blood pressure and lead a more content life.