Two Ways to Create Your Own Team of Mentors

Without making a single uncomfortable ask.

The dictionary definition of a mentor is someone who is a ‘an experienced and trusted advisor.’ They’ve been there, they’ve done that, and now they’re turning around and offering you a hand up.

On of the best descriptions of mentorship I’ve ever heard is this quote that’s attributed to Edith Piaf: When you reach the top, you should remember to send the elevator back down.

A mentor is someone who has sent the elevator back down.

Imagine if you had a whole team of mentors.

One or more for every single thing you need or want to do with your life. Someone on speed dial for every possible elevator you might need sent back down for you.

Nice, right? But it feels like a pipe dream. Finding mentors is hard and a little scary. You have to identify them, then ask for help, then accept the help if it’s offered. And if it’s not offered, somehow manage not to get totally derailed.

That’s a lot.

In fact, it’s so much that most people don’t even bother trying to find a single mentor.

Mentors are amazing.

I have some and I often am one. Nothing can fully replace an actual person giving you personalized help. But there are limitations. There’s that risk of rejection. And having to deal with someone else’s time and energy requirements.

I want to share two ideas that I’ve found to be incredibly valuable for developing a core team of mentors. They don’t require you to ask anyone to do anything. Everything about these two ideas is entirely up to you.

They’re not easy ideas or overly comfortable. You still have to do the work, of course. But they work very well.

Idea #1: There’s Already a Team in Your Brain

What if you don’t need to wait for someone to send the elevator back down? Often, we already have the experience we need. In fact, if you’ve ever worked with a mentor at all you know that most of that work involves them being a sounding board while you figure things out for yourself.

You might already have what you need, right in your brain. It’s just a matter of accessing it.

One of my favorite exercises is to hold a mentor team meeting with myself. Yes. Just me and the voices in my head.

I do this at least annually, leading into the new year. It’s eyeopening and highly effective. And, essentially, it’s pressing the call button for that elevator for myself.

Start by identifying the areas of your life where you need mentorship.

My go to categories are: home, physical health, mental health, relationships, work, money, and creativity.

It might take some time to think about this. Broad categories are a good place to start and might be all you need. Challenge yourself to think about what’s working in your life as well as what isn’t.

I think six or seven total areas is plenty. Less is okay.

Next, give each category a mentor — from your own head.

This is probably going to feel silly, but stick with me here. Assign every one of your areas a mentor. Remember, all of these mentors are just you. This part of the exercise is designed to help you organize and give you a tool to focus yourself on each area, one at a time.

Here is my own internal team:

Head Housekeeper (home)
Personal Trainer (physical health)
Therapist (mental health)
Mediator (relationships)
CEO (work)
CFO (money)
Artist in Residence (creativity)

Finally, have a meeting.

Set aside some time. No matter what kind of mentorship arrangement you have, putting time into it can be a stumbling block.

If I’m planning a full-on, in-my-head mentor team meeting, I’ve found that at least two hours is good, but half a day is better. If I just need a tune up in one area, I can meet with any part of my internal mentor team in fifteen minutes.

Sit down with a notebook or your computer — however you like to take notes — and talk to yourself. Go down your list and spend a little time with every mentor on it.

Ask these questions:

How are things going?
What’s working really well?
What’s not working well at all?
What’s the most pressing problem?
How could that problem be fixed?
What would make the next thirty days better, in this area of your life?

Write down the answers. Brainstorm. Trust that you’ve got the experience and knowledge all ready and you only need to access it. Identify your problems and then come up with solutions.

You’ll end up with a list of ideas and an action plan. Which is a great thing to expect from a meeting with a mentor.

Idea #2: There’s Already a Team at the Library

Looking inward for guidance is all well and good, but sometimes you actually need someone to help you. This especially true if you need to learn something or you otherwise don’t have the experience you need to help yourself.

The great news is that nearly anyone you can think of to populate your dream mentor team has already given you all the information you need.

It’s all there in the content they’ve created.

Mentors are already congregated at your local library. Also, the bookstore, online, on your bookshelves, in magazines. They’ve written books, blog posts, created videos, and created virtual classes.

You have to find them, of course. And you have to do the work of vetting that they’re a good mentor fit for you and your needs. But you don’t have to ask them anything.

You never have to meet them. That doesn’t mean you won’t or that you don’t want to. But you don’t have to.

They won’t reject your request. They’ve already agreed to help. Taking advantage of their mentorship is entirely up to you.

Start with your list of areas where you need mentoring.

While that broad list is good for your inner mentor team meeting, you might find that you need to drill down now. People tend to specialize, so you might have a hard time finding just what you need if you keep your categories wide.

Let’s say I want to work on a dream team of mentors related to money. I’d break that particular area into these parts:

Personal Finance
Income Streams
Entrepreneurship
Self-Sufficiency

Find possible mentors for each of your more narrow needs.

I know some of my mentors for these four ‘money’ topics right off the top of my head, because I’ve already been mentored by them via their books, classes, or content.

Joseph Dominguez’s and Vicki Robin’s book Your Money or Your Life makes them my personal finance mentors. Amy Dacyczyn’s book The Tightwad Gazette has made her my self-sufficiency mentor for most of my adult life. Chris Guillebeau has a massive amount of content, from books to podcasts to blog posts, that makes him an income streams and entrepreneurship mentor for me.

Just the act of reframing my relationship with the content they’ve created shifts the way I digest their work. I imagine them actually sitting down and talking to me, teaching me something, guiding me. I trust them and they advise me.

They’ve sent the elevator back down for me, via the act of writing a book, making a video, recording a podcast. And all I have to do is step on.

Shaunta Grimes is a writer and teacher. She is an out-of-place Nevadan living in Northwestern PA with her husband, three superstar kids, Louie Baloo the dog, and Ollie Wilbur the cat. She’s on Instagram @ninjawritershop and is the author of Viral Nation, Rebel Nation, The Astonishing Maybe, and Center of Gravity. She is the original Ninja Writer.