Two Powerful Questions to Ask Yourself while Dating
Long-term relationships are about mindset and authenticity.
Let’s face it. Going through life is more joyful with a partner in crime. But finding your companion sometimes seems like a losing streak.
We all know that feeling when your date does not match your expectations when your counterpart does not share your passion for cooking. Or if your rendezvous has a different body shape than you hoped for in your dreams.
Most of us experienced dating as something frustrating.
Mainly if you haven’t realized the following truth:
There is no ideal partner for you…
There is no single person on this planet that can meet your standards.
Throw your checklist to the trash.
Because there is no such thing as a perfect partner, you will never meet your ideal lovemate.
But here’s what might surprise you:
… that’s fantastic news!
Otherwise, life would be really, really dull.
You aren’t a static, perfectly stable person. Neither is your future partner.
“As above, so below; as below, so above.”
— Kybalion
You are flawed, and so is your partner. You’re not looking for an ideal partner.
Your Relationship is about Growing Together
Relationships are about growing. Growing individually and also growing together.
Instead of selecting your partner by character traits, look for a person who shares your mindset.
If you love learning and working on yourself — which you probably do as you’re reading this article — you’re looking for a partner in crime who shares your growth mindset.
You are not looking for your perfect partner.
Look for a person who says, “I know I have troubles, and I’m able to share them openly with you, or I’m working on being able to share them with you.”.
You shouldn’t search the person who finds yourself 100% perfect the way you are.
Look for authenticity signs inside yourself.
Far more important than your date’s character traits are your feelings while dating.
Does this person make you feel comfortable?
Can you be yourself without being triggered to exaggerate any stories you share?
Do you speak at eye level? Do you feel understood? Can you relate to your date’s anecdotes?
Do you feel good because you share similar values?
Answering these questions with a loud YES is far more important than any physical checklist.
Choose a potential partner by how this person makes you feel.
The Bottom Line: Mindset & Authenticity
You can stop looking for your ideal partner. S/he doesn’t exist.
Instead, find a person with whom you want to tackle the challenges life has ready for you.
The two most meaningful criteria for evaluating future dates:
- Does your date share your mindset?
- How honest do you dare to be around this person?