BREAST STORIES
Two Failed Breast Reductions
If this wasn’t a sign from the universe telling me to love myself, I don’t know what is.
For those who didn’t know yet, I’ve got extremely large boobs. I’m 5"3 and I carry on my chest two H-cup boobs, which translates to a K-cup in America.
I’ve had big boobs my whole life. It was clear I was a fast developer when one time in the changing rooms at school my friend turned to me and said,
“Shamar, you need a bra.”
My mother took me to get measured and I went straight in at a B-cup. Most of my friends were still sized in proportion to their age category.
The journey to doom and over-sexualization begins.
Fast-forward to my first year of university and I’ve just had enough. I’ve put on weight due to living off frozen food and having ice cream for my main meal and the main meal for dessert.
On my journey to lose weight, I decided to go to the gym for the first time in my life. My first sports bra cost a fortune. The bigger the boob, the bigger the bra cost! I can’t fit into any of those cute Nike sports bras and, I daren’t even try to just make a fool out my myself and enhance the shame I already carry on my chest (physically and metaphorically).
What It’s Like Living With Very Large Boobs | by Shamar M | Breast Stories | Oct, 2022 | Medium
Gym classes were good. I tried to do as many bum and tum classes as I could per week, being too scared to actually go into the gym and touch a weight — what if my boobs bounced uncontrollably and everyone stared at me?
One day, I was looking at my body in the mirror, as I always do. My body is fantastically curvaceous, just for the record.
But I’m not so happy with my boobs.
For the tenth time in that day, a breast reduction crosses my mind, but for the final time, I plucked up the courage to speak to my parents about what I want.
My dad wasn’t so sure, but as my mother has had boobs that have shrunk and grown over many years — she could see how I would be struggling especially being so small.
They agreed that they would assist me in my breast reduction journey.
In England, if you want a breast reduction it can be done for free, but you have to meet the NHS guidelines. Upon consultation, the doctor informed me that I had to (i) lose a stone so I could (ii) get into the normal BMI category.
As I was losing weight anyway, the stone part wasn’t so bad. Oh, did I tell you about (iii)? You had to keep up the weight loss for 6 months.
The documents that the doctor submitted for a free breast reduction were declined. We appealed the decision, and they still declined.
Is being 5"3 and having H-cup boobs not enough.
My family and I decided to go private. We have a private clinic very close to home which has extremely good reviews, so it was a no-brainer.
The procedure was going to last around three hours, and I would have to stay in the hospital for two nights. The surgeon was going to reduce my boobs to a DD cup because it’s the smallest he could physically go.
The scarring would be nasty and take months to heal. My nipple was going to be cut off and sewn back on, and I might never be able to breastfeed or feel any sensation in my nipple again.
Not your basic one-hour boob job.
How much did it cost? We won’t go into that, just know that it was over £5,000…
One week before surgery, it’s mandatory to do blood tests to make sure you are perfect for surgery and not at risk of blood clots.
A day before surgery, my work was wishing me well and reminding me not to eat breakfast (I love breakfast) as you’re not allowed to eat for a certain time before surgery. All was well until I got a call from the surgeon's assistant.
“I’ve got some news. Unfortunately, we need to delay your surgery as you’re at risk of a blood clot. Can you please have the blood tests re-done?”
WHAT? The only good thing about this is because it’s private surgery, the waiting list isn’t long. I was scheduled again for two weeks' time.
One failed breast surgery.
As instructed, I got my blood tests done again and got the same crappy results as last time. The doctor highlighted that my blood levels are fine and had no idea why surgery couldn’t go ahead.
By this point, my family and I were getting really angry. I should have had this reduction by now, what is going on?
The surgery recommended that I get one more result before the surgery goes ahead and we can fast-track the results, but they couldn’t show me the results as they need to go straight for analysis at the surgery.
No communication had come my way, not even the morning of the day before my surgery was due — until 4 pm hit when I got a nasty call from the surgeon’s assistant.
“Sorry, we cannot go ahead with your surgery. You’re still at risk of a blood clot.”
You better believe I was screaming down the phone in full-blown tears. If the doctor said he cannot see why the surgery cannot go ahead, what was going on?
Two failed breast surgeries, both 24 hours before they were due to take place. If that wasn’t a sign from the universe telling me to love myself, I don’t know what is.
My family was very upset with the company we had been scheduled with, so we got our deposit back and went to the next nearest private hospital 45 minutes up north.
Covid hit shortly after we made that decision, so no surgeries were being scheduled. Yet again, another sign from the universe that this wasn’t for me.
I never went ahead with the reduction, and you know what, I’m semi-glad. Why semi? Because I think of the scars that would have been healed by now, and I would have a pair of much smaller breasts. I think of all the clothes I could have worn, and all the much cheaper bras I wouldn’t have had to buy.
But I have also learned to love myself more. I’ve made a promise to myself that I will get a reduction when I’ve had kids, so my boobs don’t have to grow full of milk, then shrink, then grow again, then shrink.
I know of two women who have had breast reduction experiences in the past. One of which backed out last minute for the same reasons as me, and the second? Well, her boobs grew back.
Women pay thousands for what I have and get into all sorts of debt, why don’t I just accept it and flaunt them whilst I can?
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