Two Approaches to Bring About Change

Summary

The article discusses two methods for personal change: directly altering the behavior or addressing the underlying causes through catharsis and inner child refinement.

Abstract

The article presents a dichotomy in approaches to personal change, emphasizing the difference between superficial behavior modification and deep-rooted transformation. The first method involves using willpower to change a specific trait or behavior, such as lying or aggression, which can be stressful and may not lead to lasting change. The second approach advocates for addressing the core issues that give rise to undesirable behaviors, such as fear of rejection or past traumas. By employing techniques like catharsis and refinement of the inner child, individuals can achieve more profound and permanent changes in their behavior, leading to increased happiness and reduced stress. The article suggests that while willpower can initiate change, true transformation occurs when the source of the behavior is resolved.

Opinions

The author believes that while willpower can effect change, it is not the most efficient method for lasting results.
Addressing the root cause of a behavior is seen as a more effective strategy for personal development than simply changing the behavior itself.
Catharsis and refinement of the inner child are recommended as processes to resolve deep-seated emotional issues and facilitate lasting change.
The article posits that changing the source of a problem eliminates the need for stressful willpower and leads to a more joyful and stable state of being.
It is the author's opinion that the second approach, focusing on the source, not only changes behavior but also enhances overall well-being and reduces the likelihood of regression.

Either change the effect or change the source.

Photo by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

At a broader level, there are basically two approaches to bringing about change in oneself.

Work upon the resultant attribute to change.

Bring about a change in the source that caused the resultant attribute.

The first approach requires willpower and I believe it is the easiest way to work upon bringing about the change. But this approach need not be the best one to deliver results. If the person wanting to bring about change goes to the source of the problem and modifies the source itself, then the resultant attribute will automatically get changed. Let’s take several examples and try to analyze the two approaches.

Don’t tell a lie

A person may be prone to lie a lot and would like to bring about a change in himself. Based on the first approach, he uses willpower to stop himself from telling lies. The usage of willpower is stressful, but it helps the person realize the effect of always telling the truth. He may feel respected by his peers and his credibility may get better. These changes further reinforce his desire to not lie and eventually he can change himself into a person who rarely lies.

Another approach to addressing the same issue is to get to the root of the problem. Maybe there are some fears and desires that force a person to tell lies, e.g. fear of rejection may force a person to tell lies so that the other person does not reject him. Similarly, the desire to be the topper of the class may force the person to cheat in the examination.

By applying the process of catharsis and refinement of the inner child, a person can truly address the root cause of him lying to others. The fear of rejection may arise from not being able to realize that one can be happy despite the approval from the other person. There may have been some childhood wounds that caused the person to completely rely on that person or the person of the same character type. Resolving these wounds would free up the person from fear of rejection and then automatically his need to lie will go away.

Change in level of aggressiveness

A person may get angry at small things and would like to take the first approach to address the issue. He controls his anger through his willpower. This approach helps to bring about a decrease in his aggressiveness level and people around him praise him. His relationship with his spouse and family members suddenly becomes better and that acts as an impetus for him to continue on this path.

The above approach works only to a certain extent. Till the person does not bring about change in the source of the problem, the result will not be permanent. There may have been some painful memory from the past that forced the person to have hatred against someone or others of the same character type.

Example: Sara gets agitated in talking to businessmen. She actually was in an abusive relationship with one of the businessmen and hence formed a belief that all businessmen are selfish and not worthy of being in a relationship. The better way to handle her aggressiveness is to remove all the emotional trauma she faced while in the abusive relationship by applying the process of catharsis and refinement of the inner child and then bring to mind the truth that generalization results from fear and one should not judge others based on preconceived notions. This approach of bringing about change in the level of aggressiveness will bring about a lasting change.

Eating healthy food

One may want to bring about a change in dietary habits. Using the first approach he forces himself to eat only vegetables with no spices and avoids having oily and spicy foods. This brings about certain changes in the overall well-being of the person. Maybe his sugar level goes down and he enjoys an increased level of alertness. These changes reinforce his way of bringing about change in dietary habits and maybe it becomes his normal way of eating.

Another person may want to get to the root of the problem. Maybe he is frustrated and wants fast food in his diet. Actually, our state of mind has a lot of influence on the food we want to eat. Bringing about a change in the state of mind would automatically result in the person not being willing to eat unhealthy food. Again, working on the reasons for frustration through catharsis and refinement of the inner child can make the person generally happy and he will not have the desire to eat unhealthy food.

Conclusion

Directly working on the attribute that we want to change through the use of willpower may be an easy approach that is taken by most people but the real change can be attained only when one addresses the source of the problem. The usage of willpower in the first approach creates stress, and the change may also be impermanent. If one addresses the source of the problem through catharsis and refinement of the inner child then it will automatically bring about the desired change. There won’t be any stress involved in maintaining the changed habit and the chances of a person reverting to the old way of working are greatly reduced. Thus I would suggest everyone try out the approach to address the root of the problem and bring about an everlasting sense of happiness and joy.