Twelve Things That Happen When Your Wife Gets Old

Ok, Husbands, you asked for it!

My husband and I have been married for 29 years. I finally know what it means when someone says, “It seems like yesterday.” We are in our sixties now. It’s hard to believe that we are what I considered when I was thirty to be “older than dirt.”

Recently I published a story, Ten Things That Happen When Your Husband Gets Old. I have had some hilarious comments left on the article. Some of the men seemed pretty upset with me and said things like, “Well, what about you!”

So in the interest of fairness, I am submitting my husband’s rebuttal. Bless his heart, my husband wouldn’t say much, but I could fill in the blanks. After all, I’ve been interpreting his thoughts for 29 plus years.

So here’s what happens when you’ve been married to the same woman for 29 years, and she just turned 62. I took it upon myself to offer an explanation for some of the complaints.

1.She keeps the temperature too cold.

2. She has too many cats

3. She has to replace her body parts.

4. She gained a lot of weight and can’t cut her own toenails.

5. She wobbles when she walks.

6. She colors her hair blue.

7. She has to pee all of the time.

8. She forgets why she is coming into a room.

9. She gets wrinkles and zits at the same time.

10.She poops her pants on a car trip and blames you for not getting her to a bathroom fast enough.

11.She stopped shaving her legs.

12.She stopped wearing a bra at the house.

Yes, gentlemen. Here you go. I hope that you are happy. This is what it is like to live with an old(er) woman.

In my defense, I can’t help it if my internal temperature gauge has been broken for the past ten years. I like the color blue and some of my body parts are wearing out. Oh, and he used to not mind when I didn’t wear a bra at the house.

Happy trails!