Are you tired of being a hypocrite?
Turn your own hypocrisy in your favor
by using 2 methods
When, as happens so often, we let our annoyance out on others, while we are actually feeling it about ourselves, we are basically trying to cloud and delude our judgment; we want to motivate our annoyance a posteriori by the oversights and inadequacies of others, so we can lose sight of ourselves. Friedrich Nietzsche
Why do you see the speck in your neighbour’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbour’s eye. Mathew 7:3–5
I don’t need to pull out any other quote that suggests we like to exploit the weaknesses of others from my quiver. We deeply enjoy feeling superior by remarking the malfunctions of the world, while we hastily put faults under the carpet.
I’ve noticed this particular behavior in my work. When a colleague emphasizes one of my mistakes, I find myself going into defense mode. I speed-think to find if the problem came from any other possible factor (whether might be another person or situation), or myself. It requires effort to slow down to admit to myself: “Yep, that was me…”.
How do we manage hypocrisy?
I’d like to present you two methods:
- Have people in our social circle that mirror our behavior from time to time.
- Make conscious observations of what we comment on others.
The mirroring effect
When we were children, there there would be nothing more annoying than having another kid making fun of our behavior. At some occasions this habit is transferred in the adult age, maintaining the same maddening effects to the receiver.
When that occurs, most people are concerned by the dichotomy, “just ignore” or “react to it”. Fortunately, there is a third alternative which answers to the phrase “why is this bothering me?”. Going deeper to that thought, we should anticipate some harsh realities about our own behavior. Looking inwards by recalling past experiences, we might realize we weren’t so noble and kind as we previously thought.
Once we find the deeper meaning of our annoyance, we start building our way into empathy turning away from hypocrisy.
Conscious observations about ourselves
Notice the arguments you bring to the table and the comments you make when you are judging others (in your mind or out loud). To paraphrase Nietzsche:
What are you trying to hide from your self by pointing others?
Is it jealously? → What are you envious of? Are you bored, and you want to do something else? → Are you enjoying your daily tasks?
Once you go down the rabbit hole, you will find what troubles you — keep asking questions in order to get there. Of course, the questions you make must be tailored to your situation.
Train yourself to look inwards and cut the source of hypocrisy.
