Turn Intimidation into Inspiration.

Summary

The author overcomes jealousy towards gifted peers by choosing to be inspired rather than intimidated, leading to personal growth and a shift in perspective.

Abstract

The author recounts a personal journey from envy to empowerment, initially feeling inadequate next to the academic achievements of friends from a gifted high school. Struggling with a history of academic challenges, the author faced feelings of resentment and self-doubt. However, a conscious decision to transform envious thoughts into inspiration marked a turning point. By observing and emulating the confidence and public speaking skills of friends, the author developed their own self-assurance and positive outlook. The narrative emphasizes the power of choice in personal fulfillment, advocating for the intentional practice of seeing the best in others to foster self-improvement and a more compassionate worldview.

Opinions

The author initially felt intimidated and envious of the academic success and confidence of gifted friends.
Overcoming negative emotions involved a deliberate and ongoing choice to reshape thoughts into opportunities for inspiration.
Emulating the positive traits of peers, such as their public speaking abilities, contributed to the author's personal development.
The author believes that choosing to see the good in others can lead to recognizing positive attributes in oneself and contribute to exponential personal growth.
There is an emphasis on the individual's control over their emotions and reactions, such as the choice to forgive, remain positive, and seek fulfillment over resentment.
The author suggests that by practicing empathy and compassion, even towards those we may not like, we can transform our realities and choose inspiration over intimidation.

Turn Intimidation into Inspiration.

How to Turn Envy Into Success.

We won’t be distracted by comparison if we are captivated by purpose. — Bob Goff

A couple of years ago, while working on a political campaign, I became close friends with students at a gifted high school. They would later change my life, forcing my perspective from a life-long private school girl into a more worldly and aware person; however, seeing their successes soon became hard for me. It caused resentment. I was admittedly jealous.

Growing up, I never academically succeeded. I repeated third grade, matched with other challenges. I started tutoring and extra help in fourth and would continue into the day I received my diploma. I had to work doubly hard to achieve half the success of my peers. I was intimidated by my gifted friends, their ease, and confidence swaying around them, like an aura. They seemed to know everything and fearless in everything they did.

Instead of cheering my friends on in their countless opportunities and successes, I was sad. I was sad at myself for my failures, and doubly sad for the guilt I felt having these emotions.

It came down to a choice. Was I always going to let others dictate my self-worth, or was I going to find a way to be personally fulfilled?

Photo by Dan DeAlmedia

This choice was not a one and done. It would take many months before I could confidently say that I had reshaped my thoughts for the better. I had to stop each envious, negative thought, and reshape it into an opportunity. An opportunity to be inspired. This was a constant choice I had to make; I had to take control of my mind.

I saw my friends public speaking and paid attention to the confident infliction in their voices, their body language, the way they engaged the audiences. I soon adopted these techniques into my speaking, mimicking their confidence. Soon my practicing would turn into a real, natural, confidence for myself. Instead of seeing constant intimation, I saw empathy, compassion, and kindness. I saw inspiration.

At that moment, I saw another choice. When I see people: friends, strangers, or in-between, what if I choose to see the absolute best in them, no matter what?

This was a tougher pill to swallow. As humans, we are pre-dispositioned to see the bad in people, the judgemental side of us coming out if we admit it or not. However, if we can control our thoughts to see the good in other people, we can see more good in ourselves. If we remove the layers of personal perception to observe a moment of good, we can reshape our realities. If we can come up with one good attribute for even the people that we don’t care for, we can grow exponentially. Try it.

You control whether you forgive or keep a grudge. You control if you are trivially angry or choose to smile. You choose to be fulfilled or continuously wanting. You choose inspiration over intimation.