Trying to get Pregnant — here’s what NOT to do
“Tale as old as time, song as old as rhyme” wait, no… that’s Beauty and the Beast. Okay, want to know the real secret? The one that perhaps no one or maybe everyone talks about? One that seems so simple and yet is really hard to do in everyday life… Don’t Stress!
Seriously, I know that sounds obvious, but this time together should be special, right? It should be enjoyable, right? Then why do we put so much stress, rigidity, and tension on trying to accomplish this goal and turn it into a task rather than an enjoyable experience?
Ever notice how people who aren’t putting all kinds of strict rules and regulations around when they do it, how they do it, how often they do it, and so on, are the ones who magically get pregnant? The couple who just came off birth control and didn’t expect to get pregnant right away because they were told, or read, it wouldn’t happen so quickly, so easily? Young couples just enjoying themselves not thinking about the ‘consequences’ of their actions? Stress is a HUGE factor, SERIOUSLY! So do yourself and your spouse/significant other a massive favor and cut out whatever ‘unnecessary’ stress you can.
On the flip side, try and find ways to reduce your stress, or at least don’t make it worse. I know once you have decided to start a family it is hard to wait, but hold onto that excitement — remember that saying ‘patience is a virtue,’ well in this case it may also be your saving grace. There are some ‘tricks’ to getting pregnant (so long as nothing is medically or physiologically inhibiting your chances with either contributing party):
- Have sex regularly (just not ‘too’ regularly). Not only does it increase your chances of pregnancy, but also will increase intimacy within your relationship and reduce stress (literally will change the stress hormones within your body). Why turn it into a chore? — yuck!
- Keep it light. Adding unnecessary, and often unhealthy, stress to just about anything changes the chemistry and reactions of the body — thus making it harder to conceive, as well as how we feel about it. Anything under observation changes the results — it’s known in the science world, so why not this one too? It’s like that saying ‘a watched pot never boils’, so do your best to stop paying too much attention creating change and unnecessary pressure. While on the topic of pressure, stop allowing family, friends, society, whomever or whatever to pressure you and your partner. This should be a cherished experience for you BOTH. The body is incredibly intelligent and does not want to create life under distress. Not to steal away from the next point, but an orgasm helps with this too :)
- Honestly, I would keep it simple too. What do I mean? Well, people try all kinds of ‘crazy’ positions, diets, tactics, etc. that are supposed to increase fertility or guarantee a boy or girl baby, or … you name it. There are many theories and even studies, but if you are having trouble conceiving, I would keep it simple and enjoyable. Oh, and men … it does help if the woman has an orgasm — true story! An orgasm changes the woman’s body chemistry and I believe pH which increases the success and survival of the sperm as well as fertility — I cannot find the article I read years ago about this (and the old wives tale about conceiving boys), but if I do I will be sure to update this article and include it. In the meantime, here is a different article validating that old wives tale…
- Nutrition is key — when isn’t it? Again, if the body feels it isn’t healthy enough to create life … it won’t! Give you and your unfertilized gametes (and then hopefully fertilized) the best chance possible with high nutritional valued meals on a regular basis. Gametes are the scientific name for egg and sperm cells (or rather, the se cells of an organism). This isn’t saying you cannot enjoy some guilty pleasure now and then, but you have a better chance conceiving if your body is and feels healthy. A great resource: Dr. Michael Greger’s non-profit website funded by his books sales: How Not to Die.
- Try alternative therapies to increase relaxation, energy, and vitality, as well as decrease stress or blockages. You might be subluxated (which let’s face it, everyone is) — go see a chiropractor. You might need your energy balanced — go see an acupuncturist or reiki practitioner. Perhaps your body is tight and tense — go see a massage therapist. Seek out a Midwife and/or a Doula — they help with more than just the birthing process. It might even be worth considering Meditation, prenatal yoga, or a Mental Health Professional — life is stressful and so it trying to start a family, take a load off your mind, and your body however possible
- Get out in nature — it is super restorative and beneficial on all levels. We are animals afterall and our natural environment is being in nature. We are really only starting to scratch the surface in this field of study (as well as many other things including pregnancy), but the research that is there about being out in nature clearly shows a benefit to our overall mental emotional energetic intellecutal physical spiritual health and well-being. Although this study (Restoring Attention in Pregnancy: the natural environment) has a limited focus, it does reveal a positive mental impact. Check out a great book: Chatter by Ethan Kross — trust me, it’s worth reading or listening to, and he does address some of the positive effects of being out in nature.
- Herbs and in particular, Raspberry leaf tea —it is great for supporting the female system at any stage. Traditional Medicinals, founded by renowned Herbalist Rosemary Gladstar, carries all kinds of wonderfully supportive teas for any occasion including women’s health. Give your body all the extra support you can before during and after pregnancy. “…European and Native American women have used these leaves for thousands of years to prepare the womb for childbirth…” However, just as with anything, it is always best to do your research, check with your doctor, and be safe when using herbs: how you use them, which ones you use, how you combine them, as well as how strong and how often, etc.. As a friend reminded me, pregnancy (and life in general) is about making informed decisions, so I implore you to do the research and practice safety for yourself, your potential child to be, and anyone else involved in your life.
Of course, none of this is a definite promise or guarantee; however, I am sure you can imagine how any additional unnecessary stress can wreak havoc on your body and how well it functions including your ability to conceive. As always, there are many options to try and keep in mind; however, be sure to stay in touch with your medical health team and professional(s).
Want to know where I learned this? Finger Lakes School of Massage, Heartstone Herbal School, Institute of Integrative Nutrition, Kripalu Center for Health and Yoga, as well as elsewhere throughout life, but there (like everything else) is a great amount of information out there — the real trick is learning where and how to look as well as who/what to trust. Good luck with the research and the trying — remember make it enjoyable for each other. Remember how and why you started this journey and who you started it with. Remember and Cherish the love you have for one another. You don’t want to start a family while wanting a divorce at the same time!
A great book that has helped many women with the health and wellness of their sexuality, pregnancy (as well as avoiding pregnancy), and their bodies in general, is below (TCOYF — Take Charge Of Your Fertility). Remember, it is not a magic pill, but it might be a helpful resource. There are also great apps nowadays for your smart phone, check out https://www.kindara.com or many others. Seek out professional help, there is a wide variety of that too, but remember to be patient and kind with yourself, your spouse, and your body (his too). Good luck and (hopefully I do not offend, sorry that I cannot resist) … happy humping!
Other great, interesting, insightful, informative and entertaining resources:
The Great Sperm Race ~ A Wonderful Documentary that shows just how miraculous it is that pregnancy ever happens. Seriously, I know it seems like it should be easy enough, but A LOT needs to go right. I hope it helps you to not get discouraged if you are struggling and to have hope that if it can happen for anyone, it can happen for you too :)
The Business of Being Born ~ Another Wonderful Documentary, but read what it is about first so you know what you are in for, it is a real eye opener.
Side not to all those who love to ask: “when are you having kids” or any other variation of this … please be aware that even though you may think this question is harmless, it might be triggering. Perhaps for those who do not want to have children, are waiting and are potentially sick of hearing/answering this and much more, or especially for those STRUGGLING to have children.
I know it isn’t meant to be harmful, but please, just be mindful — everyone has their story…
~ ❤ ❤ ❤ ~ ❤ ❤ ❤ ~ ❤ ❤ ❤ ~ ❤ ❤ ❤ ~ ❤ ❤ ❤ ~ ❤ ❤ ❤ ~ ❤ ❤ ❤ ~
Like anything else, there is an exorbitant amount of information out there and the best thing I can advise you to do is keep the faith and, as much as possible, don’t stress.
Blessings, Hugs, Love and Light, from your Idealistic HolisticNerd ~Mind.Body.Soul.~
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Note: This article is a compilation of my own life experiences, research, testament, opinion(s), etc.. It is not meant to be a substitute for professional medical, legal, or clinical services. Although I, the author, have personal and professional experience in the health and wellness field, including health coaching, am not a certified/licensed nutritionist. I, the author, am not a medical advisor, as with any and all recommendations, please do your own due diligence.
(Note: The links/books/etc. mentioned in the article are NOT affiliate links, and I do NOT earn any commission.)
Your Idealistic HolisticNerd ~ ❤ Mind ❤ Body ❤ Spirit/Soul ❤ ~
I am a Certified Integrative Health Coach, Herbalist, LMT, Health & Wellness Enthusiast, etc.. The information contained in this, or any, article is meant for educational and entertainment purposes only. The contents of this article are not meant to diagnose, treat or cure any disorder disease.
With love light blessings, and a prayer for a brighter happier healthier tomorrow…
Thank you. Thank you more than words can say for reading, following, clapping, commenting, and trusting me however much you do. It is not without gratitude and appreciation to all those who support and who I hope to help along the way.
