Truth and Kindness in the Unsanctioned Zone
Delivering disappointing news as a person of authority depends on how far from the forbidden zone you are in your life
At one time, in a story now devoured by a deliberating dragonesse, The Garrulous Glaswegian asked herself and us how to reject an author whose writing was not of a standard she wished to publish.
If my memory serves me right — though in the meantime many empires have crumpled to dust, and uncountable princesses have seduced the uncouth barbarian— G.G. of Fire and Resoluteness pensively set to paper:
“Is it kinder to say nothing and let them think I’m a (insert slur or insult) — or to tell them the truth?”
So; is it kinder?
On a philosophical level, it is always best to tell the truth.
But shit ain’t like that in real life, if I risk repeating myself.
Our instincts for social integration urge us to glide on well-lubricated waterslides, despatching us to the common pools of insincere comradeship. It is not a question of kindness, but of what you are capable of doing at the current point in your life without straying too much out of your comfort zone. On the other hand, your tolerance of out-zoning changes as your life progresses. As Andrei Tarkovsky once commented, “No mother gives birth to the same child twice.”
Venturing out of your comfort zone is, by definition, disquieting.
It is, however, every so often necessary for upholding a well-balanced personality; without it, there is no credible learning and development of self. The only question is how much “extra zonam” wayfaring would be too much?
Each of us should measure and mark the latter ourselves. My rule of thumb is fifteen minutes of agitation for run-of-the-mill decisions; if your deed of forthrightness causes lengthier convulsions, return to the safety of soothing misrepresentation. I hope you find this intriguing, if not helpful.
P.S.
The sage and savvy understand that outside the comfort zone a rambling expanse of no-man’s land stretches between the horizons, bitter under the shimmer of foreign skies.
There are, though, a few times in life when the honest decide to secure an Answer and make their way across the immensity to visit the dangerous place of The Zone, an area in which normal laws do not prevail and which harbours a Room. Think twice of entering the Room that grants wishes, even if you are in the company of a well-versed Stalker.
The latter holds for all petitioners, regardless of whether they be the novice writer who sorely lacks both competence and self-doubt or the savant who solely desires resoluteness in breaking the bad news to the incapable.
But if there is one thing that Dragons and Stalkers agree upon wholeheartedly, it is that some wishes should stay unanswered.
