Trust Your Own Sweet Awkwardness In The Week Ahead
How you can have a positive impact in your community
Before bed last night, I read an essay by Brian Doyle called “Final Frontier.” He writes:
“You must trust that you being the best possible you matters somehow. That trying to be an honest and tender parent will echo for centuries through your tribe. That doing your chosen work with creativity and diligence will shiver people far beyond your ken. That being an attentive and generous friend and citizen will prevent a thread or two of the social fabric from unraveling. And you must do all of this with the certain knowledge that you will never get the proper credit for it, and in fact the vast majority of things you do right will go utterly unremarked.”
Comforting, humbling thoughts before sleep.
Being the best possible you matters somehow.
I considered how, as I turn toward a more interior creative space, I have not been as tender towards my daughters or my husband, my dear, beloveds. If attention is the natural prayer of the human soul, as a poet once said, then my family, for so long, has had all of it.
But maybe we don’t have to be in an arm wrestle with our responsibilities and our creative potential, maybe they are part of the same thing.
Maybe participating in our communities isn’t what we think it is. Maybe it’s not about our titles or roles, maybe it’s about being comfortable in our own sweet awkwardness.
It’s a lot to consider that the way we behave in our families and in our communities will ripple through generations.
Now it is morning, not yet 6 am. The house is still asleep. It’s a good time to make a vow for the week ahead: that I will be silent when necessary, that I will welcome the spirit of play when it shows up in my daughters, that I will write with integrity and truth, and trust in my own sweet awkwardness, that I will call a friend and go for a walk, that I will be generous when my discernment is needed, and that when I feel the world pressing on me, questioning “but is it enough?” I will answer: yes, we are enough.
I will proceed with love.
If you liked this story, read some more!