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Analyzing Trump With Numerology

Making ‘sense’ of the number 11,780, Donald John Trump, and more.

Numerology, like Trump’s ideology, thoughts and beliefs, has no basis in fact, so it is the top tool with which to analyze the Top Tool.

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11,780

Let’s start with the number 11,780, which has been very much in the news lately.

If you missed it, 11,780 is the number of votes that our President wanted Georgia’s leadership to “find” so he could recalculate the vote in his favor.

As an expert numerologist with about 27 seconds of experience I was able to determine that both major forms of numerology ascribe a value of ZERO, 0, null, nothing, nada, zip, zilch, naught to the number 11,780.

Funny … that’s the same value every thinking person on the planet assigns to Trump’s claim that 11,780 votes vanished into thin air, or got eaten by the cookie monster, or were abducted by aliens, or got hacked to bits by Russian trolls, or got swallowed by the Loch Ness Monster, or otherwise got mysteriously boiled away into vapor, or … (I’m sure you get my point.)

74,222,964

That’s the exact number of fools presently in America. Or, at least it’s the precise number of fools who voted for Trump in the 2020 election. The sheer scale of it almost defies comprehension. Thankfully though, we can rely on numerology to help us make sense of it.

With about 3.14159 seconds of numerology “science” applied to the number 74,222,964 one arrives at the number 9.

As a high priest of digital science I can’t tell you how I arrived at that figure. If you want to know my secrets, just send me your name, age, date of birth, social security number, address, all credit card numbers, brokerage and bank account numbers and any other personal numbers and passwords you can think of, and all will be revealed. Also PayPal and/or Venmo me $199.99

So, what does “9" tell us?

According to my super-secret sources, and the wild misapplication of some “knowledge” I found on the Internet, the number “9” is all about justice, compassion and nurturing, among some other fine human qualities.

See how it all fits together now? Who wouldn’t describe Trump and his mentally jack-booted minions as “just, compassionate and nurturing.” Is this numbers game becoming clearer yet?

232

That’s the incomprehensibly large number of Electoral College votes Trump captured.

A pseudoscientific mishmash of illogical beliefs breaks this one down to the all-important number “7.”

Lucky number 7’s possess all these fine qualities: deep thinking, quiet, introverted, idiosyncratic, intuitive, analytical, problem solvers, fair and sensitive.

Well 1.5 out of 9 ain’t bad. Certainly Trump and those who follow his dictates can be accurately described as “idiosyncratic” (in the worst possible connotation of this term), and “problem(s).”

Again, see how a non-fact-based analysis of real world events yields important truths?

And finally, the Man himself.

Donald John Trump, born June 14, 1946.

It’s such a bummer that he’s a Boomer since this term has, of late, earned a bad, but largely undeserved, rap. But, if ever there was someone who could give a good term a bad name it would be the Orange Julius Caesar. But I digress.

Back to our cauldron of analysis.

Drop the Donald’s data in my handy-dandy number cruncher and presto-chango …

The POTUS — is a “life path” 4, trustworthy and honest (spot on description here, thanks numerology!)

He is also an “expression number” 5, a “free spirit” (In much the same way as Pompeii once experienced the “free spirit” of the Mount Vesuvius eruption I’m guessing.)

Seven is the number of Trump’s “Soul Urge” AKA Heart’s Desire. Seven’s are known to have very strong opinions, likes and dislikes. Well numerology, when you’re right you’re right! Readers, you’re on your own with further analysis of this one.

The leader of the free world, is a “personality number” 7. According to the good folks at Numerology Central, he should value knowledge, and actively seek out opportunities for growth and learning in life. Ah, from right to wrong in a flash.

And finally, DJT scores a “Birthday Number” 5. Whoopie! (as in Whoopie Cushion). Fives are full of surprises. No surprise here! We are constantly and permanently “surprised” by how low you can go Sir! Thanks for keeping us on our toes these last four years.

Mr. President, you’ve given us a series of “one-two” punches that’ll take a while to recover from. Amazingly you were able to do this while dumping a long, loud and lengthy “number 2” on our once proud nation. You’re number 1 in my book.

Maybe once Trump has taken his lumps in the legal system and has been assigned a prison number we can use phrenology AND numerology to further understand his behavior.

Here’s to a better 2021, 2022, 2023 and beyond.

If this story amazed and delighted you, imagine how these will spark joy.