Seriously Salient Satire

Trump Is Not Lying When He Says He Was Named “Michigan’s Man Of The Year” — I Know, I Was There

The president is beloved in the Wolverine State for defense of the auto industry and he will win again there in 2020

President Donald Trump, the man who is making America great again every day, was accused of lying by the Fake Media for saying at a New Hampshire campaign event on Thursday night that he received Michigan’s “Man of the Year” Award.

He did not lie. The president is TELLING THE TRUTH. I know because I was there and I saw him accept the award.

He, in fact, did receive the Wolverine State’s highest civilian honor in May of 2016 and I was there to witness it. As the president has said, repeatedly and accurately, he was honored by Michigan for his relentless support of its vital automobile industry. Donald Trump and his administration, but mostly his influence and personal charisma, helped revitalize manufacturing jobs in the state and specifically saved auto jobs.

I believe the confusion began because no current Michigan state officials were in attendance during the awards ceremony in 2016. That’s likely due to the fact that the Michigan awards event was not held in Detroit, Grand Rapids, or Lansing, as one might expect, but in Mr. Trump’s offices at Trump Tower in New York City.

It was on May 23, 2016, and while I say I was there, I wasn’t there exactly, but I was there in spirit. And I hear that the award was bestowed upon the soon-to-be president by a Trump staffer who went to college in Michigan. Which is practically the same thing as accepting it from the hands of the Michigan governor himself. That is why I believe our super truthful president. I know believe, believe, believe he doesn’t lie.

If I recall, that was also the day that every other state in the union gave the president-to-be its own “Man of the Year” award. It was more or less a blanket awardship, like being knighted, that allows the president to whip out this distinction whenever he’s giving a speech and wants to claim to have rescued yet another industry in another beleaguered state.

So expect him to also acknowledge his Man of the Year awards from Colorado, Florida, Iowa, Michigan, Minnesota, Ohio, Nevada, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, Virginia, Wisconsin and any other swing state.

He is not lying. Our president doesn’t lie. He’s America’s Man of the Year, all the time, every year. Or whenever he claims it’s so. I know. Because I was there!

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–AI