Trump Boasts: America Will Rise At Easter

A hare-brained scheme, says New York

In what has to be one of the more bizarre statements of his presidency, Don Trump dropped a double-bunger: Easter is a very special time for him, and he expects churches to be packed to celebrate America opening for business.

That’s two weeks away. In this time of uncertainty, I also have a clear vision. On Easter Sunday, America will lead the world in both number infected with Covid-19, and number of dead.

Encouraging Americans to pack into churches to celebrate Christ’s death is a sure-fire recipe for disaster on disaster.

We’re going to be opening relatively soon… I would love to have the country opened up and just rearing to go by Easter. … Easter is a very special day for me… and you’ll have packed churches all over our country. … You’re going to lose people. You’re going to have suicides by the thousands. You’re going to have all sorts of things happen. You’re going to have instability. — Don Trump

Instability. Oh, perish the thought! America’s government has been the very model of instability and chaos, blundering from scandal to scandal, crisis to crisis, disaster to disaster.

I keep hearing this talk of suicide. Where is Trump getting this from, I wonder? No nation is reporting an uptick in self-murder. Are his advisors telling him that a wave of suicides is rising and cresting? Is it something he dreamt up by himself? It’s kind of bizarre. A “hare-brained scheme”, as the New York Daily News muses.

The oddest point is that Trump claims that Easter is a special time for him. I wonder why he’d say that. He’s not a Christian by any measure. And whenever the topic of Christianity comes up, Trump turns the conversation towards himself. The notion is that he was chosen by God, for example.

Kind of wonder why he bothered spending any money on advertising. Or that Vladimir Putin set a battalion of hackers to help Trump’s campaign.

Maybe Christmas

Just quietly, Don, but America won’t have this thing licked by Easter. Any churches full of worshippers thanking the Trump for their salvation will find that most likely they’ll all be celebrating the following weekend in hospital.

Christmas is a more likely scenario. And I might tack another prediction on there, making it a double.

Don Trump won’t be celebrating the deliverance of the nation. He’ll be mourning his election loss and preparing lists of cronies to pardon.

Honestly, I simply cannot see six months of disease, death, and depression being rewarded by the voters. He barely squeaked in at the last election, and since then his approval rating has dropped and never ever reached 50%, let alone positive territory.

Prediction, Day Four

In what appears to be a piece of positive news, America has notched up fewer than ten thousand new infections in 24 hours, according to Wikipedia. That’s appalling, and by far the worst in the world, but it is a small drop on the previous day’s increase, so there is that.

Deaths have risen by over 200, a big jump on the previous day, but here America is not leading the pack. Spain and Italy are posting bigger death increases, so a global third place there, if anybody is keeping track of the grisly tally.

Perhaps the dip in the curve’s upward trend is only a result of some twist of reporting fate, and tomorrow will reveal a return to the exponential.

Or, maybe the rise will slow further as more and more cities and states apply their own local lockdowns. We shall see.

Here in Australia…

More restrictions are rolling in. You want to get married, you may have celebrant, bride, groom, and two witnesses. That’s going to cause a lot of unhappiness.

If you are having a funeral, that’s a more cheery prospect: you can have a priest, six pallbearers, and three mourners.

Melbourne’s streets are looking ever more sparse. Supermarkets and those shops remaining open are marking out social distance queues with lines or crosses on the floor.

We’re doing a lot better than America, with a total of eight dead, But nobody is talking about opening up again by Easter. On the contrary, we’re being told that we’ll be digging in deeper as the days go by.

Britni

Britni Pepper writes for Kindle Direct Publishing. She runs a blog where she reviews erotica, and rambles on about this and that. She may be reached on Twitter and Facebook.

More on Covid-19 predictions: