Trump Bans Nikki Haley Donors From MAGA Camp

So where is “MAGA camp”? Is that anywhere near Crystal Lake by chance?

Trump has been in full meltdown mode (have you noticed?) ever since his poor showing in New Hampshire. Yes, it was a poor showing. He was supposed to win by 30 points and only won by around 11 or so. His acceptance speech for his unimpressive win sounded like a 15-year-old boy sitting in his basement, trolling his school’s Homecoming Queen.

Frankly, I can’t wait for the moment in court when he gets up to testify with slurring insults against E Jean Carroll, as bronzer cream starts to melt off his face, and he then mistakenly calls her Nikki Haley. Won’t that be a hoot?

He has been rage posting on (Un)Truth Social, and one of his posts stated the following, and I quote:

“Anybody who makes a contribution to Birdbrain, from this moment forth, will be permanently banned from MAGA camp. We don’t want them, and will not accept them…”

To which my first thought was to go and donate ten bucks (all I can afford) to Nikki! Can I get that in writing Donald? Do you promise? Could I maybe put that on a T-shirt and sell them? “I was banned from MAGA camp!”

Hey, Nikki, fund-raising opportunity. Start cranking out those T-shirts to sell at your campaign events.

Leaving aside for a moment that Trump is in court today because of being liable for sexually assaulting a woman and is now calling his female opponent in the primary “birdbrain” and dissing her wardrobe (hey Donald, all-around brilliant strategy there buddy to get the votes of suburban Republican women), I nonetheless have a more pressing issue.

I want to know what “MAGA camp” is and where it is. It ain’t a revamped Camp Crystal Lake, is it?

It doesn’t have camp counselors wearing rather unusual masks, and not because of COVID, does it?

Does MAGA camp, when they do a bonfire thing at night, have a dress code of white sheets and pointy hats for all campers?

Does MAGA camp have helpful instructional classes for the lady campers on how to be good Christian reproductive slaves and how to maintain normal assigned-gender appearance?

Does MAGA camp have highly paid happy staffers serving the privileged attendees? Doing their laundry and ironing their QAnon T-shirts?

And of course, there must be lots and lots and lots of guns at MAGA camp. Have to make sure the little kids have something to play with.

Oh look, one of the MAGA moms has arrived to pick up her kid from MAGA camp.

Nikki Haley has jumped a few notches in my estimation, earning a bit of respect from me ever since she started seriously mocking Trump. She said he threw a “temper tantrum.” She smacks him down for what she calls his “senior moments.”

Rock on Nikki.

As for those who say the race is over, you are failing to acknowledge what is known in political science circles as the “banana peel path” to the nomination. The “banana peel path” is when your opponent is a misogynistic, mean, demented, junk-food-eating, bronze-cream-wearing old man with 91 felony indictments, who could have, shall we say, a “canoe accident” at MAGA camp, figuratively speaking.

And Nikki will be the last one standing in this horror movie and have the last laugh.