True to My Word

Showing up for myself

Monday: When all is said and done, will you have said more than what you’ve done, or less?

I interpreted today’s prompt as meaning how good are you at keeping your word?

It took me down many thought paths, and I ended up thinking about all the ways I have shown up for myself on my spiritual journey. I also reflected on all the ways I haven’t too.

In many ways, it is hard to say I have been good at keeping my word from the point of view of other people, I’m sure. I have had firmer boundaries, said no more often, and been in more of a hermit mode for a while.

I guess it isn’t that I haven’t been keeping my word, but more I haven’t been fussing over other people like I used to and putting them before myself.

I have received many mixed reactions to all the work I’ve been doing on myself. From fear to judgment and downright dislike that I have begun prioritizing myself. Not everyone has had negative reactions though. Many people have been incredibly supportive.

I’m learning to keep my word with myself. To show up for me when I am in need, and to give myself the support I need whenever I need it.

I think in many ways I have done all the things I have said. They just may not be the most impressive or physical manifestations of success, but they have been profound changes to me.

Sometimes my inner critic tells me I’m a fraud, a fake. It tells me I am writing about and speaking about an invisible thing that doesn’t exist. I know everything I am working on is important though- I feel it to my core.

I am breaking down personal barriers and fears, I am burning karma. I am ending generational patterns that otherwise I would have continued to pass on. I am doing the work for me, but many people will benefit from it (and hopefully already are).

By being more honest about my truths hopefully, I will make fewer promises I cannot keep, hurt fewer people and become healthier and happier within myself. Hopefully, I will also inspire other people to be more authentic with themselves.

The things I have said I wanted to do in my life to other people are things I have faith I will do. They are things that feel like they were already written into the fabric of the future.

The path to living a purposeful and passionate life is also paved with sacrifices though. I have had to dedicate myself in ways I never would have in the past. I have tried to have more discipline with my mind, body, and spirit in greater ways than ever before.

I quit drinking, prioritized my mental health. I have been working on my shadow side. I began doing more of the things I love- like writing, and committed to back myself up, no matter what- this is a hard one.

I believe everything I have said, I have done. They just aren’t all physical things. And the things I’ve said and not done are the things I wish to manifest, my goals for the future, and my dreams.

The main thing I am proud of saying and constantly working on doing is loving myself.

This has been harder than I ever imagined but it is creating a foundation I will be forever grateful for.

I just want to be myself, offer what I can, and discover how to be better. I am a constant work in progress and it drives me to move forward and be present with gratitude.

When all is said and done, I will have said less than what I’ve done. Because I feel I have done a lot.

Because I am always doing and always changing, even just by being. Never the same as I was five minutes ago. I am evolving and transforming, and I don’t always communicate every little part of this process to people.

The things I say, are the things I will do because I am dedicated to the cause. That cause is unearthing my gifts so I may offer them to the world. Living as authentically as I can.

Thanks, Diana C. for this healing prompt 🌹!!!