True Love

Summary

The article discusses the complexities of true love, emphasizing that while perfect love is rare, most people experience genuine love characterized by both good and bad times.

Abstract

The article "True Love" acknowledges the universal desire for a deep, meaningful connection with another person, highlighting the importance of mutual love, respect, and trust. It contrasts historical arranged marriages with modern dating methods, including online platforms and social groups, while cautioning against the dishonesty sometimes found in profiles. The author stresses the importance of aligning interests and not expecting significant changes in a partner. During the courting period, the article advises on the necessity of mutual attraction, communication, and trust, suggesting that major questions about lifestyle and past relationships should be addressed early on. Transitioning to marriage, the article points out the challenges of merging lives and dealing with blended families, advocating for compromise, love, and patience. It also touches on the sensitive topics of infidelity and divorce, suggesting that while forgiveness is possible, trust issues may persist. Ultimately, the article concludes that true love is about enduring life's storms together.

Opinions

The author believes that true love involves accepting the imperfections in relationships and that expecting perfect love is unrealistic.
There is an opinion that modern dating options have expanded, but individuals should still exercise caution and ensure compatibility of interests.
The article suggests that people are unlikely to change significantly, and one should not enter a relationship expecting transformation.
It is expressed that mutual trust and respect are foundational to a healthy relationship, and a lack of these elements is a red flag.
The author advises that open communication about past relationships, finances, and family is crucial early in a relationship.
The article posits that marriage requires compromise and the ability to handle real-life problems, which may include adjusting to stepchildren and maintaining cordial relationships with ex-spouses.
Infidelity is seen as a significant breach of trust that can lead to the end of a relationship, although some may choose to forgive.
The author's view is that true love is a partnership where both individuals are fully committed and willing to face challenges together.

Let’s be real and true, there’s no perfect love.

We all want that special someone in our life. That person we can come home to and make us smile, show us love, give us love, and tell us “I love you”. Some of us have true love, but some of us want perfect love. There aren’t many, if any, that have perfect love, but most of us have true love, as all relationships have good and bad times.

Meeting that Special Someone

Back in the day, many people married young and had arranged marriages. However, in some cultures, the arranged marriages still exist, and seems to be working for some. But, for most of us, we are doing the best we know how to find someone good. Finding a good love interest is like finding a needle in a haystack. To our advantage, we have more options now, than people had many years ago. We’re now able to meet people online, in meetup groups, dating shows, phone apps, and other options. Whichever option is chosen, caution should be priority, as everyone isn’t honest with the information in their profile.

Be sure to get as close to a good match as possible, ensuring the other person’s interests aligns with yours. As adults, most of us are set in our ways, and many aren’t going to change much, so never go into a relationship thinking someone will change over time. People will pretend temporarily to win your trust, but their real character will be revealed over time, so be sure to spend much time with the new person. Whatever happens, love yourself first, and follow your heart when searching for love.

Courting Period

After a few dates, there must be some chemistry. Hopefully, by this time both people are romantically involved. Love is definitely a two-way street. Both individuals should have a voice in the relationship. If your partner isn’t hearing what you have to say, and shows no interest in hearing what you have to say, that’s a red flag. Given there’s been a few dates, there should also be some trust in the relationship. Honestly, a person can sum up someone within minutes. Anyone that’s dating needs to be conscious and mindful, at all times before being wooed for all the wrong reasons.

Be sure to ask pertinent questions, such as why did he/she get a divorce, are there children involved, do you work, do you own a car, are you independent? This is the time to ask these major questions because marriage is easy to get into, but can be hard and costly to get out.

Marriage

Oh, so you two are really in love. You’ve decided to tie the knot. The rings, the wedding, the honeymoon…then there’s reality. After all the romantic bliss, most married couples are back to reality, facing real problems. Many people, especially young adults, are excited to get married, as they’ve witnessed their friends get married and have seen fake marriages on TV and in movies. If a couple didn’t live together before marriage, their living situation may be problematic in the beginning. Be willing to compromise with your partner and show each other love. If children are involved from a previous marriage, this may put a strain on the marriage too. Try to treat the other children as if they’re your own. Those children are part of your spouse, so they are part of the package, along with their parent, the ex-spouse.

To keep the peace in your marriage, be cordial with all parties, including the in-laws, stepchildren (if any), and previous spouse(s) (if any). Patience is another key factor, and don’t shun out family therapy, as it may be needed at some point. There’s nothing wrong with professional help.

Infidelity / Divorce

We’re all human and are prone to look at anything good that walks in front of us. That doesn’t mean that we should continuously stare at another person, if our partner is next to us. We have to be respectful and know our boundaries. Now, if your partner is notorious for staring at other people, to the point that you’re feeling uncomfortable, then there needs to be a conversation. Also, allowing your partner to continuously stare at others can lead to infidelity. There’s no need to harbor your concerns, as those concerns will build up inside, and over time they can explode into an ugly situation.

If you, or your partner, has cheated in your marriage, or relationship, this is a red flag. Unless both has agreed on an open relationship, there shouldn’t be any other person romantically, or sexually, involved with you, or your partner. Cheating isn’t tolerated by many, even if it’s a one-time occurrence, as there’s now a trust issue. But, some are willing to forgive. Keep in mind, people can forgive, but won’t forget. If the relationship isn’t working out, it may be best to divorce, or end the relationship, and, hopefully, let it be done amicably.

Overall, love is what you make it. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it if both love each other. Both has to be in it to win it. As some may say, you need a “ride or die” in your life…someone that will be there with you through the thick and the thicker. Storms will come, but if both can weather those storms together, that’s true love.