True Confessions of a Blogoholic

Compulsive stats checking and other vices

My name is Marilyn and I am blogoholic. It’s been thirty-seven minutes since my last post. However, it’s only been three minutes since the last time I checked my stats. And seven minutes since the time before that. And eighteen since the time before that and — you get the idea.

My sponsor told me to say I am powerless over blogging and my life has become unmanageable. Well…it does feel a wee bit compulsive, but unmanageable? I have to admit the bed hasn’t been made in two weeks, the dishes are piling up and my roommate thinks I’m crazy but am I? Really?

Unlike drinking or drugging, over sexing or overeating, this does not drain my pocketbook and my energy. Matter of fact, I made $5.34 my first week. And damn proud of it!

Besides, it’s energizing. I am right here till three in the morning and wide awake and raring to go at seven am. I’ve only been late to work 4 times. But then again, I’ve only been doing this for two weeks.

As far as food goes, I’m actually eating less. Instead of rummaging around the kitchen looking for a snack, I’m here, online with you, reading your inspiring, hilarious, deeply moving stories, experiencing blog envy.

Damn! I wish I’d written that! Well maybe I haven’t written a post with 1.5K claps, yet, but I’ve lost five pounds. Does that count for something?

You all inspire me. So instead of just wishing, I open a new doc and start writing. This one will be curated for sure I tell myself. What topics do I want it in? How about sex, drugs and rock and roll?

Ever notice how you can make sort of a haiku by an astute choice of tag words? I do that on comments some time — creating a little coda to my comment. Do you do that?

Oh, and I also save most of my comments. Especially the pithier ones. Isn’t that a great word, pithy? Do you do that? Save comments I mean. At least one other writer admitted he does. In a comment.

I even created a special file for my comments. I started it before I took the plunge and did my first post. I was afraid I would have trouble thinking of what to write. But I found myself quite pithy with the comments. There’s that word again. Many are over 100 words. I try to make them funny. Or personal. Or both. They’ve even earned a few claps. I bet I can turn some of them into posts.

Short posts but still. Posts. The stuff I do between checking my stats. I finally realized the best way I can affect my stats is to actually write something post-worthy and post it.

Thankfully the time it takes to write, go pee, edit, check my email, look for a picture, check my phone, and play with headlines is time enough that my stats might actually have changed. Imagine that! So it’s good therapy for my addiction.

My sponsor recommended it. She routinely gets 500 to 1.3K claps for her pieces. She rides me about the compulsive stats checking. But I still love her. She said every time I check my stats I could be writing a paragraph. Or selecting a photo. Or analyzing a headline. Catch her drift?

Or washing the dishes or making the bed for that matter. Nah! I’d rather write. Wouldn’t you?

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Marilyn Flower writes fast fun reads with a touch of magical realism to strength the imagination of socially conscious folks. Clowning and improvisation strengthen her during these crazy times. She’s a regular columnist for the prison newsletter, Freedom Anywhere, and five of her short plays have been produced in San Francisco.