Free AI web copilot to create summaries, insights and extended knowledge, download it at here

Abstract

room. It tastes bad. The shady guy starts laughing at me. He warns me that I am in for one hell of a trip.</p><p id="dda8">We stay out a little longer before Zach and I catch a taxi home. We arrive home and I am still feeling normal, besides being a little drunk. I attempt to unlock the front door of our house, only to discover the psychoactive affects have kicked into gear.</p><p id="b193">My key has become squashy, and it’s sort of melting into the lock. After a few forceful attempts, I realize I am using not my key but instead a tube of purple crush lipstick. Zach highly amused by this eventually shoos me away and unlocks the door with an actual key. We go inside and straight to bed.</p><h2 id="696c">There Is A Monster In My Kitchen</h2><p id="58c0">Sometime later, I wake up tripping balls far worse than before. I need to use the loo located on the other side of my house. I know the lights will hurt my eyes, so I leave them off as I wander across the house. I get lost and become stuck in my kitchen for ages, unable to locate the doorway I need. Eventually, I succeeded in finding the loo. I use it and start my journey back through the kitchen to the bedroom. Only once again, I become lost. I stumble in the darkness before realizing that I am not alone. There is something in the room with me blocking my escape.</p><figure id="bba7"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*poij8H6GV0oC8Wfu70BoRA.jpeg"><figcaption><a href="https://pixabay.com/illustrations/eye-pupil-eye-ball-eye-rim-blood-5584841/">Image</a> from Pixibay: A Red eye blinks at me from the darkness</figcaption></figure><p id="f791">By now the mushroom was in full effect, because before me is the outline of some massive monster. Part of me realizes that I am tripping, but even so I accidentally bumped into it, waking it up. A red eye is blinking at me as it guards the doorway.</p><p id="e7c8">I try to move around it but it keeps following me wherever I go. At this point, I am tired, I want to go to bed, and this monster is making me mad. So I strike out at the monster clumsily with my hand, which only succeeds in making the it angry. It starts making a low, growling noise. The red eye blinks green now as I stumble backwards. The monster takes the advantage as I struggle to regain my footing. Suddenly it lunges forward, its gaping mouth snaps at me, biting my fingers.</p><h2 id="08dd">The Battle</h2><p id="927c">By now, I have had enough of this monster’s aggressive shit. I decide to fight it in the dark. In my mind, the fight felt like an epic battle, seems to last for hours. Sometimes I would get a good punch or kick in. Other times it would bite me with its deadly jaws. The monster never stopped growling and shaking while I was attacking it. Finally

Options

, I have managed to climb on top of the beast. I pry open its mouth, holding it wide as I give it a series of powerful kicks and I have managed to break the monster’s jaw. It can no longer attack me.</p><p id="8e2d">Now that I have it at my mercy, I seek out its weakness. I can see down its throat and the wet mushy, moving guts are my next target. I reach down and start tearing out the creature’s insides. I can feel blood covering my skin, soaking through my nightdress, clinging to my hair. I keep ripping and suddenly I can feel what I have been searching for in my hand, still beating in my tight grip. I have found the monster’s heart. Using my remaining strength, I grip and rip, pulling it free from the body before smashing it to the ground in victory.</p><p id="84bc">I climb down as the creature becomes still and is no longer making any noise. I have won my battle! Victorious I wander back to bed, finding the way this time without any problems now the evil curse is lifted. I walk into the bedroom like a champion and declare to Zach that he should take me in his arms because I am an Amazon warrior. After all, and I quote, “<i>Heroes get the dick.”</i> However, I am denied my sexual reward as I immediately pass out from exhaustion.</p><h2 id="386f">The Beast is Dead</h2><p id="43b0">Daylight creeps in, and Zach gets up to take a piss. Frantic shouting awakes me, Zach is upset, calling for me to come see this, now! As I come to life, I sleepily notice that my knuckles are bleeding, my clothing is soaking wet, and everything in my body hurts. As I move toward Zach, it all comes back to me; the mushroom, getting lost, and, fighting a monster? I wonder, with anticipating horror, what have I done?</p><p id="3f7c">As I pass the kitchen I notice the floor is wet and following the pools of water I enter the laundry which is next to the toilet and take in the damage. Before us lays a room destroyed. Soaking wet clothes have been tossed about in madness. A lid has been ripped off its hinges and lays discarded. Finally, in the middle of the room was a mangled hunk of what had been a perfectly functioning appliance. I had passed the laundry in the darkness and during my crazy tripping. I had fought the fucking washing machine and it was completely destroyed beyond repair.</p><h2 id="0ae4">An Obvious Lesson</h2><p id="3340">Zach of course required an explanation for how the destruction happened. After confessing to Zach everything about the mushroom and the strange trip where I fought a monster, it actually amazingly made some sort of sense to him.</p><p id="526f">If there is some sort of obvious lesson to be learned from my adventure, I would say it’s don’t take drugs from strangers unless you are prepared for the repercussions.</p></article></body>

HUMOR

Tripping With Mushrooms and Monsters

An amusingly true story of drinking, drugs, and hallucinations

A Night On The Town

A few years ago, my now-husband Zach and I were out celebrating with a night on the town. After a few too many drinks, we were trashed. We go outside in the beer garden of one of our local pubs. My husband enjoyed a quiet smoke. I was not smoking but instead loitering.

I notice a slightly shady dude standing alone in the shadows. He is freakishly tall, wearing a long black jacket. He looks uninviting, but I’m bored so talking to a stranger seems like something to do, wander over to him. As it turns out, I know him a little bit anyway. I had seen him around the university and spoke to him a few times at the campus bar. I have only had a handful of conversations with this guy before, but still he greets me warmly. He is cheerful and announces that “It is the season.”

Drugs From Strangers

He pulls a small zip lock bag out of his jacket pocket. The crackle of the plastic quickly alerts my brain that it might contain drugs. I became very excited at this prospect and am waiting to see what he has. Then, into my eager hand, he drops a mushroom. Now I live in the state of Tasmania in Australia, which is well known for growing psilocybin mushrooms.

Image is from Wikimedia Commons: A photo of psilocybin mushrooms

Psilocybin mushrooms are the among the most popular types of “magic mushrooms,” famous for their psychoactive properties. I was later informed by friends more knowledgeable than me on the topic that it was most likely a a “Golden Top” also known as the psilocybe cubensis.

Never having tried magic mushrooms dear readers, I made a choice, and that’s why we have this story. I swallow the mushroom. It tastes bad. The shady guy starts laughing at me. He warns me that I am in for one hell of a trip.

We stay out a little longer before Zach and I catch a taxi home. We arrive home and I am still feeling normal, besides being a little drunk. I attempt to unlock the front door of our house, only to discover the psychoactive affects have kicked into gear.

My key has become squashy, and it’s sort of melting into the lock. After a few forceful attempts, I realize I am using not my key but instead a tube of purple crush lipstick. Zach highly amused by this eventually shoos me away and unlocks the door with an actual key. We go inside and straight to bed.

There Is A Monster In My Kitchen

Sometime later, I wake up tripping balls far worse than before. I need to use the loo located on the other side of my house. I know the lights will hurt my eyes, so I leave them off as I wander across the house. I get lost and become stuck in my kitchen for ages, unable to locate the doorway I need. Eventually, I succeeded in finding the loo. I use it and start my journey back through the kitchen to the bedroom. Only once again, I become lost. I stumble in the darkness before realizing that I am not alone. There is something in the room with me blocking my escape.

Image from Pixibay: A Red eye blinks at me from the darkness

By now the mushroom was in full effect, because before me is the outline of some massive monster. Part of me realizes that I am tripping, but even so I accidentally bumped into it, waking it up. A red eye is blinking at me as it guards the doorway.

I try to move around it but it keeps following me wherever I go. At this point, I am tired, I want to go to bed, and this monster is making me mad. So I strike out at the monster clumsily with my hand, which only succeeds in making the it angry. It starts making a low, growling noise. The red eye blinks green now as I stumble backwards. The monster takes the advantage as I struggle to regain my footing. Suddenly it lunges forward, its gaping mouth snaps at me, biting my fingers.

The Battle

By now, I have had enough of this monster’s aggressive shit. I decide to fight it in the dark. In my mind, the fight felt like an epic battle, seems to last for hours. Sometimes I would get a good punch or kick in. Other times it would bite me with its deadly jaws. The monster never stopped growling and shaking while I was attacking it. Finally, I have managed to climb on top of the beast. I pry open its mouth, holding it wide as I give it a series of powerful kicks and I have managed to break the monster’s jaw. It can no longer attack me.

Now that I have it at my mercy, I seek out its weakness. I can see down its throat and the wet mushy, moving guts are my next target. I reach down and start tearing out the creature’s insides. I can feel blood covering my skin, soaking through my nightdress, clinging to my hair. I keep ripping and suddenly I can feel what I have been searching for in my hand, still beating in my tight grip. I have found the monster’s heart. Using my remaining strength, I grip and rip, pulling it free from the body before smashing it to the ground in victory.

I climb down as the creature becomes still and is no longer making any noise. I have won my battle! Victorious I wander back to bed, finding the way this time without any problems now the evil curse is lifted. I walk into the bedroom like a champion and declare to Zach that he should take me in his arms because I am an Amazon warrior. After all, and I quote, “Heroes get the dick.” However, I am denied my sexual reward as I immediately pass out from exhaustion.

The Beast is Dead

Daylight creeps in, and Zach gets up to take a piss. Frantic shouting awakes me, Zach is upset, calling for me to come see this, now! As I come to life, I sleepily notice that my knuckles are bleeding, my clothing is soaking wet, and everything in my body hurts. As I move toward Zach, it all comes back to me; the mushroom, getting lost, and, fighting a monster? I wonder, with anticipating horror, what have I done?

As I pass the kitchen I notice the floor is wet and following the pools of water I enter the laundry which is next to the toilet and take in the damage. Before us lays a room destroyed. Soaking wet clothes have been tossed about in madness. A lid has been ripped off its hinges and lays discarded. Finally, in the middle of the room was a mangled hunk of what had been a perfectly functioning appliance. I had passed the laundry in the darkness and during my crazy tripping. I had fought the fucking washing machine and it was completely destroyed beyond repair.

An Obvious Lesson

Zach of course required an explanation for how the destruction happened. After confessing to Zach everything about the mushroom and the strange trip where I fought a monster, it actually amazingly made some sort of sense to him.

If there is some sort of obvious lesson to be learned from my adventure, I would say it’s don’t take drugs from strangers unless you are prepared for the repercussions.