JUST FOR FUN

Tribute to Eddie Van Halen

Musical Story Challenge

Tabitha rolled into the rutted parking lot and wrinkled her nose. The building sagged to the left as if weary from all the bullshit. The sign swung in the breeze, dangling by one bolt.

She got out of her car and slipped her mask on, careful not to catch her earrings. They were little guitars. A gift from one of her students.

A drunk wearing a Panama hat laid on his side, blocking the entrance. His one eye drooped, the other glassy.

“Looks like you’ve been runnin’ with the devil,” Tabitha said. “Are you going to move or do you want me to step on you?” She raised a four-inch heel.

“Whoa! Whoa!” the man said, holding out a palm. “Just jump! Go ahead and jump!”

Tabitha scowled, but tried to leap over him. Her pencil skirt limited her range and she landed on the outside of his knee.

“Ow, oh, hey, you!” the man howled.

Tabitha kept walking. She entered the bar and ran the gauntlet of wolf whistles and come-ons.

“Drop dead legs!”

“Com’on, baby, finish what you started. Ooh, yeah!”

“Somebody get me a doctor!”

She found an empty stool at the end of the bar. Slipping off her mask, she said to the bartender, “Quite the place you’re working at, Tommy. It’s worse than I imagined.”

He blushed. “Yeah, well, today the House of Hops is the House of Pain”. He pointed with his chin to the woman balled up in the corner. “Jamie’s cryin’. In order to comply with the governor’s executive orders, she can only run at fifty-percent capacity. It’s killing her business.”

“Wow,” Tabitha said, shaking her head. “Make me one of those wicked drinks you mixed up for the hayride last weekend. What was it? Sinners Swig?”

Tommy laughed. “Ya mean Sinners Swing? Okay. Coming right up!” He grabbed a whiskey bottle off the shelf. “What’re you doing here, anyway?”

“Can’t I visit my new neighbor?” Tabitha asked.

He gave her a look.

Her shoulders slumped. “Okay. I had a bad day at school. It’s so hard with all the new precautions and the kids hate the masks … and I hate one of the kids.”

Tommy’s head snapped up. “What? What kind of teacher hates a kid?”

“Me.” Tabitha said, poking herself in the chest. “I’m teaching the kids a new song and this weirdo first grader that talks like Cookie Monster from Sesame Street kept saying, ‘Me hot for teacher! Me hot for teacher!’ It creeped me out!”

Tommy laughed. “Aw, he’s in love!”

“He ain’t talkin’ ‘bout love,” Tabitha said, taking a sip of her drink. She swung her thumb toward the door. “What’s up with the door stop?”

Tommy shrugged. “He harmless. He’s the ice cream man … I guess he had a bad day, too.”

“Geez,” Tabitha said, her eyebrows bouncing. “He must work a mean street.”

“When he came in, he said he was going to stay ’til close. He wanted to dance the night away.” Tommy snickered. “He started passing out an hour later.”

Tabitha’s phone rang. She stared at it.

“Aren’t you going to answer it?”

She sucked down her drink and said, “I’m going to need another. This is a crazy parent. He calls and yells at me all the time.” She rolled her eyes and answered.

“Miss Farnsworth, I’m sure you know why I’m calling.”

Tabitha switched her phone to speaker.

“Listen to this,” she whispered to Tommy. Into the receiver she said, “Well, we’ve already talked about your disapproval of how we are handling Covid. Your son has impetigo from wearing the mask, his hands are peeling from the sanitizer …” She drummed her fingers on the bar. “So, what is it this time? You really got me now.”

Tabitha dropped the phone and all conversation stopped when the father screamed, “HAVE YOU SEEN JUNIOR’S GRADES?”

The idea of this challenge/prompt is to cram as many title references as possible into the fewest words and create a story. For those of you who are competitive, divide the total number or words in your story by the number of song titles to get your rating.

According to Michael Whalen, who received a score of 13.5 per reference, if you suck at math, or despise it, or both you automatically get a score of 100 and a blue ribbon.

I had 645 words and 18 references. I’m going to take my 100 points and tie the blue ribbon in my hair. Where’s my sash? If any one’s interested, I love roses and I’m open to tiaras.

If you’d like to play along, publish your story anywhere. Tag it with “Musical Story Challenge” so everyone can find it. Embed this story so people know what to do. Include a few links to highlight fellow writers who have also taken a crack at it.

Okay … I’m going to hit up some of my storytelling friends that haven’t been called upon yet:

Connie Song, Bill Adler, Dean Middleburgh, Bill Adler, Toni Tails, Dan Leicht, J.A. Taylor, Bingz Huang, Tina L. Smith, Carolyn Riker, Michelle Marie Warner, Greg Prince and anyone else who wants to join in the fun! Everyone is welcome!

Grab a margarita and check out this Jimmy Buffet-inspired piece by Michael Whalen:

Who wants to get Rocky Mountain high? Check out this John Denver-inspired piece by Melissa Speed: