Trial by Fire Can Show You What You’re Capable Of

It creates skills you couldn’t learn any other way

They were hounding the teenager mercilessly, embarrassing him in front of two thousand people.

Watching was hard, but I understood why they were doing it. They wanted to show him what life in their world was like, which would either overwhelm him or make him work harder to obtain it.

My wife and I were at a performance of the Whose Live Anyway Tour. It featured the comedians from Who’s Line Is It Anyway?, an improv TV show first hosted and produced by Drew Carey.

One of the bits was called “And Then?” and it worked like this.

A comedian would start a story, then point to another performer and say, “And Then?” This performer would continue the story, adding their own twist. As they made their way through the six of them, the story became more and more outrageous.

During the performance, the group would often talk to the audience. One lady mentioned her 16-year-old son was sitting beside her and that his dream was to do what they were doing.

They played “And Then?” again at the end of the show and invited the teen to come up and play it with them. After three performers started the story, they pointed to him. The teen added his twist, but when he pointed to another in the group, that person would say something short and immediately point back at him.

They did this repeatedly, forcing the 16-year-old to keep adding bits quickly.

You could see the teen was struggling. He stumbled, he hesitated, and you could sense his panic. But he kept trying.

Was his story on the same level as the pros? Of course not, but that wasn’t the point. The point is that he hung in there and was rewarded with a standing ovation. He will have a story to tell for the rest of his life, and even if he doesn’t go into performing, he will have more confidence in handling the unknown.

Everyone has faced trial by fire — those times when we have to do something despite having no practice or training.

You can be forced into it, or sometimes, it’s a choice you make.

My decision to become a full-time writer is that kind of choice.

I was working at a tech company during the pandemic. They did their best to keep everyone employed, but this meant shuffling people into roles that didn’t suit them, creating a toxic work environment.

I was one of them. In addition to that, my wife and I moved during the pandemic, so when my office reopened, I now lived two hours away. On top of that, my car had died an ugly, horrible death, meaning I no longer had easy transportation.

It looked like the world had decided for me.

Over the last few years, I’ve learned that I can’t work a 9-to-5 and a side hustle simultaneously. The job left me with zero energy for anything else, and I considered it a good week if I posted once.

If I was going to be a writer, it was all or nothing.

It’s recommended you have at least 3–6 months of salary in the bank before taking this kind of leap. I didn’t have that, but my wife was making enough that if we counted our pennies, we could do it for a while. Eventually, however, I would have to earn my keep.

I won’t lie and say I’m a huge success, but I’m finally making enough to pay my bills. It was harder and took longer than expected, and the pressure to produce and succeed could be debilitating.

Maybe you’ve faced a trial by fire in your own life.

You’ve unexpectedly lost a job or a relationship that left you scrambling.

Perhaps you, too, were shoved into a role or handed a project you had no experience with.

Maybe you felt it the first time you faced a large group to give a presentation. I was on the radio for 30 years and was often asked to introduce an artist on stage. The first time was horrifying. I suddenly found myself standing in front of 20,000 screaming people and was expected to get their attention and keep it.

Maybe it was getting lost in a foreign country where you didn’t know the language, which led you to find a great neighborhood or restaurant you didn’t know was there.

The point is that there may have been plenty of times when you were in an unknown situation that suddenly required quick thinking.

Any risk can be considered a trial by fire. Yet I believe these moments can be beneficial, even if you don’t handle them well.

Trial by fire can change your life in meaningful ways.

It can turn your life in a better direction.

It can give you the confidence to handle future unexpected events.

It can teach you lessons you can’t learn any other way.

Very few of these trial-by-fire moments are dangerous, except in your mind, where embarrassment seems to cause the most worry.

It can be said I’m taking a small risk publishing this since the trolls are always lurking, but doing anything enough will teach you the opinions of others are not as important as you think.

Embrace these sink-or-swim moments. Use them to learn and to grow. Knowledge and a plan are great, but you won’t know if they will work until you jump into the fire. Things can look very different once you’ve made the leap, often for the better.

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