Travel | Inspiration
How I Broke My Habit of Using Fear as an Excuse to Not Travel
And became the writer that I am today
What is your greatest accomplishment?
My greatest accomplishment was what brought me back around to writing. I am here because I was so proud of myself for doing this thing — it took more bravery than I thought I had in me — I felt I owed it to the world to tell the tale so that others might benefit from my experience.
Learning to travel as an anxious woman is my greatest accomplishment to date.
I have included the following original work from my humble, traveling, writing beginnings with the original (semi-ridiculous) edited image that I think sums up why this anxious girl-turned-enthusiast is so proud of herself.
“Fake it till you break it”
I love this picture because I look confident, and poised. I don’t look anxious; I look like I know what I’m doing and where I’m going. I may even look like a travel pro.
I’ll let you in on a little secret: I was none of those things in this photo. I was afraid. My photo face was a farce, but I’m not apologizing. Sometimes you have to fake it till you break it.
We all have bad habits that don’t serve us and our life’s yearnings. One of mine is a nasty habit of scaring myself out of new experiences.
Breaking a bad habit takes time and practice. It’s grueling, emotional work that includes delving into our past hurts. Because it is best to take this work in small bites and baby steps, sometimes we have to take a leap before we think we’re ready and just fake it.
I believe wholeheartedly that we can fake it till we make it AND fake it till we break it.
We may not be ready to conquer the world, but we get to choose to find that little bit of bravery and take a tiny leap in the direction of a fabulous new habit.
This does not mean we lie to ourselves. It also does not mean we get caught up in the expectation that we feel confident or that we play the game of pretending full-time.
It does mean that we give ourselves a free pass to exude confidence AND feel afraid or unsure at the same time.
In travel and in life, I like to make these tiny leaps of faith when the experience is bookended by coze and familiarity: a meal, a walk, cozy tv, or a quiet sit by a fireplace with an appetizer and a glass of wine.
Cozy bookends give me time to rest, prepare, and then reflect and recharge for my next leap.
Faking it only works if:
- We are willing to be honest with ourselves, and
- We are intentional about surrounding our fear with supportive mental speak.
Here are a few examples:
I accept that I am unsure about this.
I am safe.
I am grateful for this opportunity to practice.
I am brave.
I am creating a fabulous new habit.
I am confident.
Sometimes if we use the right words, our truth begins to match those good words. So if there’s a habit of ours that needs the boot, it is best practice to begin with good words, get cozy, take a tiny leap, and then fake that good habit until our bad habit breaks.
Big Love & Happy Travels, TAG.
By giving myself the opportunity to be less than okay abroad, I learned to give myself a break before I knew how to do it at home. My travels began a new kind of healing as I faced every one of my fears far from home.
That is my greatest accomplishment.
But I must say, writing about it makes it all worthwhile.
I’m Brett Jenae Tomlin, The Anxious Enthusiast.
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Keeley Schroder’s January Writing Challenge: