avatarToni Crowe

Summary

An older woman recounts a vulnerable moment of physical and emotional pain, reflecting on her life's journey and the support she's received, while preparing for back surgery and grappling with the realities of aging.

Abstract

The author shares a personal story of a painful physical breakdown that left her emotionally distraught on the toilet, abandoned by her husband who had to use the bathroom urgently. Despite her successes and the help she's had in overcoming a difficult childhood, the experience highlights the fragility of old age and the unpredictability of health. After a visit to the emergency room and subsequent treatments, she reflects on the importance of preparedness and maintaining dignity in the face of adversity, resolving to face her challenges with determination and a sense of humor.

Opinions

  • The author views her life as a success despite challenges, acknowledging the support she's received from family and others.
  • She expresses a sense of betrayal and abandonment when left alone in a vulnerable state by her spouse.
  • The author has a pragmatic and humorous outlook on life, even when facing severe pain and the indignities of aging.
  • She emphasizes the importance of being prepared for emergencies, such as having pain medication and a phone nearby.
  • The author has a strong resolve to persevere through pain, drawing on her past experiences of overcoming adversity.
  • There is an underlying frustration with the healthcare system, as evidenced by the need to advocate for herself to avoid unnecessary hospitalization.
  • The author values cleanliness and dignity, as shown by her concern over not wearing panties and her mother's advice to always be prepared with clean undergarments.

Health

Trapped on the Toilet with No Panties on, I had a Pain Breakdown

The dirty truth about old age

Ann Patchanan — stock.adobe.com / Author’s subscription

“I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

A Pain Breakdown

I had a pain breakdown this morning. I am proud that I have overcome a lot to live as a successful human. Although I have made mistakes, I am a blessed person who helped many people in my life. Many people assisted me, and I was not successful in a vacuum. My entire family was with me as I overcame my destiny. I grew up in poverty and escaped many ominous directions.

I’m smart enough to have been a great criminal but choose decency instead — I am a boomer who will do what needs to be done. But this morning, I had a sobbing breakdown because my husband left me sitting on the toilet.

Yes, he abandoned me to my fate. How could he be so cruel? I was in tough shape. If someone leaves you, they will most likely get dressed before leaving. I knew something was wrong with my perception. My spouse is a planner. He would not leave me dressed in a bathrobe to begin his new life without me.

TMI

Yes. TMI? Stop reading if you don’t want to know.

I have a bad back. Four years ago, I had an operation to fix my back, and it was fine until five months ago when it started to ache. Over time, the ache grew into pain. I saw an orthopedist in January as over-the-counter medications were no longer working for me. The doctor started a series of tests as we examined the options. He provided me with over-the-counter drugs and steroids to help with the pain as we proceeded.

In the meantime, the pain in my back did not buy into the structured assessment plan. It got steadily worst as we raced toward a treatment plan. We settled on surgery. The doctor has me scheduled for the surgery on the 21st of this month.

Five days ago, I woke up at pain level 10, barely able to move my left leg. My spouse stuffed me in his car and rushed me to the emergency room. We determined two things. One: I was in severe pain, and Two: I could not move my left leg.

Off To The Emergency Room

The emergency room doctor was efficient, giving me a pain shot and an anti-inflammatory drug. After just four hours, I was better — better, but not good. The emergency room doctor wanted to put me in the hospital but, at my resistance to this idea, called my primary ortho doctor, who agreed to see me the next day if I could walk — hobble — out of the emergency room. If I could not walk, the emergency room doctor would insist on admitting me to a hospital.

I fluffed up, hobbled out, and saw my doctor the next day. We agreed to figure out what happened. The doctor prescribed some low-level narcotics and anti-inflammatory drugs. Home I went.

I woke up the following day and repeated the previous morning’s pain. My spouse damn near carried me and set me on the toilet after stripping off my bottoms, then disappeared. After I did my business and used my bidet, he did not return. I’m sitting on the toilet, pain level 10, no pants or panties. My leg was uncooperative, so I could not get up.

I did not have my phone. I no pain medication in me, and this bro left me in here? My body was so uncooperative I could not even push off the toilet seat to fall dramatically on the floor so I could crawl out into plain sight.

Breakdown

I sobbed. Massive crocodile tears fell from my eyes as my addled pain, and sleep-filled mind assured me they were going to find me bottomless and dead on the bathroom floor. I thought about how my mom always told us to wear clean panties, and here I was about to go out with no panties. When she saw me in heaven, she was going to smack the hell out of me.

That thought made me stop crying. No way was I getting that smack. I settled down and waited for my spouse to come back, rocking myself and taking deep breaths to control some of the pain.

Sure enough, he came back with the flimsy excuse that he was going to poo himself if he had not gone running to the bathroom across the house. After giving me some pain meds, we called the doctor and got instructions.

I could not believe that I had broken down like a three-year-old child on the toilet. But I had. The combination of multiple days in pain and no panties was too much for me. To fix this, we agreed to put extra underpants in the master bath and always take a moment to hand me my cell phone to call 911 if something happened to my spouse.

I Will Rock This

And this people — is where is am now. I am not waking up with my casual optimism and good humor. It takes about an hour for my real personality to return to me each morning. It warms me like I was laying in the sun when my character returns. Yeah, it is a little strange, but I am adjusting. I let the pain girl out for that first hour and get it out of my system; then, I’m ok for the day.

Life, she is such a bitch, but she and I will rock this out until the end, however long that may be.

The oldest person ever whose age has been independently verified is Jeanne Calment (1875–1997) of France, who lived to the age of 122 years and 164 days. ( Wikipedia )

Most of us will never travel that far down life’s road. I will live all of mine the best I can: pain or no pain. You do the same.

Toni Crowe retired as the Vice President of Operations to pursue her dream of being a writer. Toni has written six books, two of which won the 2019 Reader’s Choice Gold Awards. Her bestselling business book, “Bullets and Bosses Don’t Have Friends: How Do You Manage A Man Sitting With His Dick in His Hand?” was one of the winners. Her first book, “Never a $7 Whore” was the other.

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