Summary

The article discusses the complexities of modern dating from a woman's perspective, emphasizing the need for clear communication and understanding between genders to navigate dating rules and expectations.

Abstract

The author of the article, Coke Francis, addresses the confusion surrounding what women want in dating, highlighting the importance of men understanding women's desires beyond physical attraction. The piece argues for a more uniform approach in how women communicate their relationship needs, advocating for respect and appreciation of individuality rather than adherence to strict dating rules. It also touches on the impact of feminism on dating dynamics, noting that while women have become more independent, traditional gender roles in dating persist. The author calls for a ceasefire in the gender war, suggesting that honest and clear communication can lead to mutually fulfilling relationships.

Opinions

The author believes that the plethora of dating rules confuses men and that women should convey their desires more consistently and clearly.
Women want to be appreciated for more than their looks and sex appeal; they seek to be loved as individuals.
The article suggests that men should put thought and effort into dates to make women feel valued and not interchangeable.
The author criticizes the double standard where women are expected to maintain traditional roles in marriage despite their increased independence and workforce participation.
Feminism has not alleviated the gender-specific expectations placed on women in romantic relationships, and thus, the author sees no reason to abandon traditional dating gender roles like men paying for dates.
The author emphasizes that both men and women need to be more honest about their expectations and attempt to understand each other's perspectives for happier relationships.
The article implies that while the gender war continues, there is potential for a peaceful resolution through improved communication and mutual understanding.

Translating Women: What Women Want and What They Say They Want

Save the males!

First of all…kicks away the podium

I come to you ladies in peace, and not in the “Pick Me” spirit.

Check my resume (my other articles). I have no problem ripping into men when they need it.

And while I understand that every woman is allowed to want what she wants in a man, and we’ve all come from different backgrounds and experiences that have shaped our relationship desires…

The fact is all these dating rules and dating tips that we throw at men is confusing the hell out of them. And I can’t blame them, because even as a woman I am getting lost 😝.

We need to be more uniform in what we tell men about approaching and courting us.

At the core, most women want the same things dating and relationship wise, to be loved and appreciated as individuals. But we are throwing everything but the kitchen sink at men, trying to communicate this in a way we think they’ll understand. And that usually means by being commanding or strict on these rules, because that seems to be the only thing they respect and listen to.

Sure, I get it. I just don’t want to see all these puddles of destroyed male psyches all over the battlefield.

If we win this gender war, let's win it with some class and integrity.

After all, what's the fun of playing the game of love if we make it impossible for the men to win?

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHAT DO WOMEN WANT?!?!

I can hear this scream throughout the American psycho-sphere and I hear you men.

I will try my best to translate what I believe women are trying to tell you when they give certain rules.

This will in no way be an exhaustive list…

The Approach

Don’t chase me in the street! Don’t sexually harass me! Don’t Whistle! ARRGGH!! LEAVE ME ALONE!

Translation: I am a sentient human being, and thus, I do not appreciate being treated as if I am interchangeable. When you chase me in the streets or catcall me, you are basing everything on my looks and sexual attraction level, and I want to feel like I am lovable for more than my looks and sex appeal.

Also, sometimes you guys embarrass me. I don’t like everyone staring at me when you whistle or act crazy in the streets.

I get that you think you're giving me a compliment, but i’d rather you see me as an individual and don’t treat me as if I am a sex toy.

Men, imagine if women approached dating like you did. They just cast a wide net and see what they can get.

How would you feel about that? Not so good, right?

I know you wouldn’t because you already have many negative names for girls you believe treat men like they are interchangeable. Sluts, whores, Thots, and so on and on.

Just like men want to be loved as individuals, so do women want to be loved for their unique qualities, not qualities almost every woman have, like a vagina.

The Date

Don’t take me on a X-Y-Z date! Do something where you actually put some thought into it!

Translation: Please put some thought and energy into our date. I want to feel as if you are excited to get to know me. I get the point of coffee dates and going for walks, and that you don’t want to spend a lot of money on a stranger. But, again, I don’t like feeling like I’m interchangeable. You would do this for any girl. I wish you had gotten to know me a little better first, so you could have planned something special just for me.😥

For the record, I may not mind a coffee date, or a walk-in the park date at all. It depends on my relationship with the guy and the context. If he’s coming in the spirit of wanting to get to know me a little better and wants a quick hang out session a more, “walk in the park” date is no problem.

If the energy he’s coming at me with is some kind of red pill “I don’t spend money on women” bullshit, it’s a hard pass for me. He can go walk in the park by himself.

I can also see other women's perspective on this though. It’s the difference between your wife cooking you your favorite meal, and her picking you up your favorite burger and McDonalds.

Either way, it’s food for your belly, and it will still taste good. But don’t you appreciate more when she puts her time, effort and love into making the meal for you, instead of swinging by the drive through and ordering you some fast food?

Either way, be grateful, but you can see how a coffee date pales compared to something you put some time, effort and thought into.

Feminism

I am an INDEPENDANT WOMAN!…But To hell with me paying for myself on a date. That’s still your job as a man!

Translation: Men and the systems they’ve created have kind of let me and the women before me down, so I have learned to not rely on men. However, this safety net called feminism hasn’t taken away the stigma and gender roles imposed on me as a woman. I am still treated differently, and in romantic relationships, I am still held to pretty much the same standards as I was pre-feminism. So I see no reason to release you from your gender role obligations, since I have not been fully liberated from mine.

I never understood why men try to use Feminism as an excuse to not pay for dates. How does my ability to vote and get equal pay for the work I do somehow change sexual dynamics?

Do men now all the sudden have the babies and do the housework and cooking now? Because it seems like women are still the one in the house cooking, cleaning and raising the children, all while working on top of it now.

Can we be honest? Let’s be honest. Now that women work and make their own money, there’s not as much benefit to marriage for us.

Marriage, on paper, looks like: we get to cook, clean, emotionally support a man who probably won’t do the same, work, take care of the children. And then after all that, I get to be the butt of his “Wife Bad” jokes when he’s having a good time with the guys.

I’m just saying, guys. Sweeten this deal for us or stop complaining about divorces (yes, I’m talking to you in the comments 😒😁)

I’m sure there’s a ton more. But that’s good for starters.

We are deep in the trenches of a gender war, but I think there can be a peaceful solution to these problems. In fact, we can learn from each other and have a better understanding of each other as the outcome.

Both sides need to be more honest and clear about what they want, what they expect from others, and try to see the other parties point a view a little more.

Happy relationships can happen. Even in this day and age. But we just have to make sure we’re communicating our wants and desires effectively, so we don’t get lost in the translations.

❤️

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