There Are Better Alternatives to Optimism and Pessimism According to Psychologists

Tragic Optimism, Defensive Pessimism, and How to Use Them to Your Advantage

“It’s going to be awful. I’m being realistic,” I argued with my husband.

“You’re being pessimistic,” he argued back.

I lifted my eyebrows in doubt. I’d agreed to run a workshop and I thought he was being far too optimistic about how it would go.

Sound familiar?

We’ve Gotten Optimism and Pessimism All Wrong

We place ourselves in tidy pessimism vs. optimism boxes to understand each other and the world.

But the world is complex. And so are we.

Not only have researchers suggested we can train to be more optimistic, it’s also becoming clear that there are layers to the optimism/ pessimism spectrum that could be more helpful to us in our everyday lives.

• There’s optimism, but what about tragic optimism?
• You can be a pessimist, but is defensive pessimism more useful?
• Could optimism and pessimism be tools we use, rather than fixed personality traits?

Let’s take a look:

Tragic Optimism

We’ve heard a lot in recent years about toxic positivity. Most of us know someone like that. The person who pats you on the back as you cry and says: “Look at the bright side, at least you have ____ (insert annoying phrase).”

Or worse, refuses to acknowledge any negative aspects of life, hoping if they don’t look, perhaps it will all go away.

Don’t you want to slap those people and tell them to look at the bright side? “At least you have the other cheek.” (Smug smile)

Refusing to acknowledge the darker side of life is toxic positivity.

Refusing to acknowledge the darker side of life is toxic positivity. Tragic Optimism has been framed as its antidote.

It was coined by psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl.

Having experienced great suffering himself, he offered another way to look at the bright side. A more empathetic, healthy, and realistic one.

Tragic Optimism says, yes, there will be tragedies in life. That’s inevitable. But within the tragedies, we can still search for meaning for ourselves.

It’s not that the tragedy itself creates growth or meaning, it’s about how we process it.

How to apply it

Researchers Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun coined the term “posttraumatic growth” to talk about the resilience of humans in the face of tragedy.

After highly challenging life events — such as finding out a difficult health diagnosis, or losing a loved one — we can look at how we will grow and change in response to it.

People find growth and meaning in seven ways:

• a greater appreciation of life,
• strengthening of close relationships,
• increased compassion and concern for others,
• discovering new possibilities or a purpose in life,
• a greater awareness of personal strengths,
• spiritual growth,
• creative growth.

It’s not that the tragedy itself creates growth or meaning, it’s about how we process it.

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” — Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning

Defensive Pessimism

A week out from a workshop I was running, I still imagined myself failing. Badly.

Public speaking is almost scarier for me than jumping out of a plane.

In my mind, I saw my participants’ eyes rolling back in their heads as they dozed off — bored to sleep by my lecture. I thought about the complaints I’d receive afterwards:

“Well, that was confusing”

“What a waste of time. I didn’t learn a thing.”

Then I got to work making sure my predictions never came true.

Generally, we think of pessimism as unhelpful. It puts us in a bad mood, and can make us feel down or helpless.

But Defensive Pessimism is a little different. It’s the upside of pessimism.

But Defensive Pessimism is a little different. It’s the upside of pessimism.

Even the most positive of us can use defensive pessimism as a strategy in the right situations and reap the benefits.

Defensive Pessimism is particularly helpful when we’re feeling anxious. It’s all about expectations and being well prepared.

Usually people try to run away from whatever situation makes you anxious. But there are other ways of dealing with it.

Professor of Psychology Julie Norem, a leader in defensive pessimism theory, told the Atlantic, “Usually people try to run away from whatever situation makes you anxious. But there are other ways of dealing with it. Defensive pessimism is one way.”

She says when you think about all the things that might go wrong, you can define clear steps to avoid those. Then your anxiety reduces and you’re actually more likely to succeed than if you’d tried to fake an optimistic outlook.

Faking it just doesn’t work.

How to apply it

When I thought about my lecture and all the things I was worried about, I was able to design it in a better, less sleep-inducing way.

I made handouts to make my presentation clearer. I added visuals, stories, research, and quotes. I made sure it wasn’t too long and had areas for my participants to get involved.

An “It’ll be fine” attitude wouldn’t have been as effective.

This strategy isn’t the best option for everyone. If you don’t get anxious, an optimistic attitude may be completely okay for you.

For people who do get anxious, using Defensive Pessimism as a tool may not make them un-anxious, says Norem, “but they feel more in control.”

Wrap Up For Memory

Whether you consider yourself an optimist, or a pessimist you can use both to your advantage.

Tragedy is part of life and it’s healthy to acknowledge it. Tragic Optimism and finding meaning even in hard times, helps us come through our challenges with strength and resilience we didn’t know we had.

Defensive Pessimism takes our anxiety and turns it into clear action so we have more chance at success. It also lowers our expectations so we feel more successful.

What do you naturally lean towards on the optimism/pessimism scale?

You can take a quiz to see if you’re a defensive pessimist here.