Tragedy Instilling Change

Why is It So Difficult to “Change Yourself”?

Something bad had to happen in order for you to get off your ass. You had to endure some sort of internal struggle that felt extremely unpleasant. Now, like a bird leaving its perch, you quickly leave your old spot and set your sights on somewhere new.

That bad thing that happened?

Maybe it wasn’t the worst thing in the world…

That’s one of the most bittersweet things you come to realize about life and my life thus far. Change. I mean, like it or not, change comes like the wind, boy. You think you have some sort of ground to stand on or a say but many times you’re awfully mistaken.

No, you’ll get absolutely walloped if you dig your heels in for too long.

It’s ugly and beautiful at the exact same time. Sometimes horrible events have to occur in order for you to change your tune. You needed some strange “awakening moment” to start doing things just a bit differently and begin altering the very foundations of how you go about living your life.

Call it “tragedy instilling change.” To truly get somewhere worthwhile and meaningful, you first needed to have a fire lit under your proverbial behind and be deathly reminded that it was about time you got moving.

Fucking scary, man.

So what do we do?

Well, I’ll tell you what. Next time, all I could really say is that I pray I’m actually prepared for a change. Next time, I actually hope I’m capable of enduring such waves of earth-shattering emotion that I don’t take such giant steps backward. Maybe I’m asking for too much?

Next time…

Next time, I will have so much more to reflect on fondly.

Why?

Because I did nothing but seemingly bleed, sweat, and cry the entire time that I had my feet grounded to this earth.

I scratched and clawed. I did everything in my power to not only uplift myself but also the loved and caring ones around me.

I ached with every part of my being to enjoy a good time, work the mundane, and reflect fondly on all the harsh lessons I was subject to being taught along the way.

In the past, it would seem that it always took a tragedy to instill a change in me. In the past, it took something so gruesome to actually get me up and get moving along a worthwhile path.

Again? Next time?

I’ll be just that much more prepared. I’ll be just that much more ready in the face of pure and utter uncertainty.

We may not always receive a choice as to when moments of tragedy instilling change may hit us.

However, you better be damn sure that in these moments of coherence and understanding, we can do all in our power to ground ourselves and establish life-lasting memories that will echo infinitely across time.